A Whole New World
by finnsgirl994
Summary: Captain America is given a babysitter to help him "cope" with the whole "I slept for 70ish years" issue. The person they choose is an annoyingly cheerful teen genius with a tendency to embarrass herself. She's Lila, he's Steve, and neither of them know what the hell they're doing. UPDATE: Sometimes, life makes you think you're going to have to give someone up. Life can be wrong.
1. Barely Breathing

Steve Rogers knew everything about loss. He'd lost his family, his friends, and perhaps worst of all, his understanding of the world around him. He's a stranger in _his _city, his New York. The people walk and talk faster, eyes glued to little electronic things and hands constantly flying over keyboards. Steve is a man alone, lost in a crowd of people.

Sometimes it's alright because his job isn't much different from what it was 70 years ago- there's a bad guy, and his minions, and a diabolical mission to take over something which is not his.

Or maybe it has changed. The villains are no longer black, and the good guys are never completely white.

He only need look around him to see that-  
Take Tony Stark. From the moment Steve met Tony, his teeth were set on edge.

He may be a perfect human specimen now, but he can remember being a puny sickly boy-man with all the odds against him.

Tony seems to be the exact opposite- even before he was Iron Man, Stark was a charming and handsome billionaire who also happened to be a genius. Add the suit, and you have a man with luck, chance, and fortune on his side.

Also add to that a bucket of narcissism, borderline alcoholism, and an insane attitude towards life, which to someone who had lost an entire lifetime was unbelievable.

Steve saw the flaws in Tony Stark as easily as his shiny arc reactor- they glowed out of him, as if Tony was proud and willing to flaunt them.

Things change though. This new world is filled with multi-faceted beings, with different faces for different people.

Joining the Avengers showed Steve the good in Iron Man.

Loki's army of Chitauri was deafeningly huge, almost impossible to defeat, and yet they managed to slow down the flow of destruction.

And then the US government higher ups sent a nuclear- repeat, _**nuclear **_bomb at Steve's beloved city. She was nearly gone were it not for Tony's selfless transport of the nuke into the Tesseract's worm hole- Steve could relate to that all too well, the desperate sacrifice of _everything_ for the sake of something bigger than yourself.

This new world is filled with strange surprises, too.

Tony Stark won over Steve Rogers completely unintentionally- while soaring into the sky with the nuke, he dialed Pepper Potts, unawares that the team was still hooked up via com system- they heard his resignation, his controlled sorrow at the sound of a brisk feminine voice asking him to leave a message.

Steve could write a thesis on what Tony Stark had felt at that moment.

Instead of doing that, he chose to accept the 21st century's people, changes and all. It wasn't like he had a choice.


	2. Here We Go Again

After dealing with Loki, Steve was essentially homeless.

While always welcome at SHIELD headquarters, the location was always changing and something about living with Nick Fury was _not _appealing.

Tony showed he was a decent human being a second time when he offered Steve his own floor at Stark Tower. It was generous- almost too generous, because what did Steve need besides a place to sleep and 3 meals a day?

He accepted like a gentleman of course, and in due time became used to Jarvis, and Pepper Potts. He's especially fond of Ms. Potts- she reminded him of Peggy, quietly capable and powerful. He liked the way she made Stark blush when they ate dinner together, he the third wheel.

Training was going well too- he was catching up on current events and modern history with a voracious appetite. His only complaint was a simple one.

It was a little embarrassing.

It was mostly sweet.

It boiled down to the fact that he didn't know how to function alone in the contemporary world.

Tony Stark was a genius and foresaw this, so he gave Steve Rogers one more gift.

She was 5 feet tall, 18, and chubby. She was brilliant- a graduate of Columbia Law School at age 17, and a part time consultant to many of New York's finest patent firms.

Her name was Lila.

She was Captain America's new keeper.

Officially she was his private assistant, with a room on his floor of Stark Tower, but in reality she was meant to be his companion when he was off the battle field.

They first met at breakfast time one morning. Pepper had invited him up for pancakes, and who was Steve to refuse a delicious hot meal with a bona fide, classy lady?

Lila was seated unobtrusively at the breakfast bar, sipping orange juice. Steve didn't see her at first, he was too busy trading greetings with Pepper and discussing SHIELD's latest on going mission with Tony. Lila sat and listened, blending into the warm kitchen in a pumpkin colored blouse and simple cream jeans. She was dressed very carefully- Lila intended to bring Steve Rogers to the 21st century on his terms- which meant modesty, class, and a lot of patience on her part.

Steve noticed her when he got up to refill his coffee, only to find himself served by a small dark haired girl with olive skin.

"Hello Miss- uhm, thanks- Tony?" Steve stammered, unaccustomed to newcomers in his strange world at Stark Tower.

The billionaire playboy philanthropist smiled, and Pepper instead replied.

"Steve, this is Lila. She's your new personal assistant, to accompany you whenever you wish where-ever you wish. She will help you with whatever you want, within bounds of course, and will also get you up to speed on the more technical aspects of the 21st century." She smiled gently at Lila, spurring her to speak.

The girl cleared her throat and fiddled with her pony tail before beginning.  
"Hello Captain Rogers. My name is Lila Amin and I am here to assist you in any way you wish. I'm qualified, as Jarvis can verify for you if you so desire. It's an honor to meet you and work for you, sir."

She smiled crookedly and looked very young- like the immigrant girls playing patty-cake on the doorsteps of New York's apartments in the 1940s.

Steve was encouraged by her lack of verbosity- living with Tony Stark meant listening to his incessant chatter all day long. "Well ma'am, I'm not sure there's much I need in the terms of help- I'm pretty set here thanks to Mr. Stark."

She smiled again, and nodded, replying "I understand, but you do realize that unless you want to live in Stark Tower forever, you need to learn about basic 21st century technology, as well as the social workings of the culture and its people? I mean no offense sir; you are an incredibly accomplished individual- however, there are some things you need to learn before you can be up to par with any adversaries who may come your way."

Stark laughed again, saying that her "cool logic must remind Steve of his time as the First Avenger, Captain Icicle."  
Pepper elbowed Tony- hard- as Lila frowned, and approached the living legend. He looked uncomfortable and lost, like a wallflower at his first high school party.

"Captain, I can't tell you that I understand exactly what you're going through right now- the things you're dealing with are ridiculously unfair and tough- but you've got a new lease on life. I _**want **_to help you, to learn from you! Let me be your assistant, even if just on trial basis!"

Lila lost her mature, professional tone by then. She was a teenager, eager to please and hoping beyond all hopes- "say yes, ohmigod please just say yes pretty emotionally damaged _superhero_".

Someone was obviously listening to Lila's silent pleas because Steve nodded, and cleared his throat.

"I'm not sure why I'm doing this, but… I suppose you are right about needing to be savvier about the modern world. You can be my assistant- for as long as you need (Steve would _never _put a woman out of a job, especially one so young!)"  
Lila laughed a bit, and then recovered, tightening her pony tail and brushing off imaginary lint from her slacks. Without further ado, she offered a previously unseen file to the man out of his time, and said "These are my qualifications. I was thinking of taking a walk to the nearest coffee shop to grab a muffin- perhaps you'd care to join me?"

Steve frowned again, replying "I just ate, and I usually go to the gym right about now."

Lila smiled accommodatingly, saying "Alright, I'll just see you in 45 minutes. Have a good work out!"

Unable to contain herself, she flips her ponytail over her shoulder and steps onto the elevator.

Thinking it was closing, she did a little victory dance- of course, it being her, the door was slow and she managed to further "impress" her new boss, plus a billionaire and his gorgeous girlfriend/assistant.

Go figure.


	3. Emotional Eating

Instead of boxing, Steve grabbed another cup of coffee and opened Lila's file.

His eyes immediately zone to her resume's list of extracurricular activities-

Damn.

SHIELD sure knew how to pick 'em.

This girl was (insert dramatic intake of air)

Captain of her debate team

President of National Honor Society

Volunteer attorney for teen court

Homecoming committee member

President of the PTA

Student representative for Congress

Intern to a law firm.

That was just high school, forget the college extracurrics.

For some reason, the girl's accomplishments bothered him. Lila was everything Steve wasn't in high school- obviously smart, outgoing, She was also brilliant, and making the most of her 18 years- and considering that Steve spent most of his life sleeping or getting beat up (Pre-serum), her resume was a slap in the face. She was so young, and yet so… full of lived-in life. It was like she claimed ownership of her life and her success, her (few) failures.

Steve flipped to the next page- it's a transcript of a police report, which is puzzling-

Oh.

"_June 4, 2010: Unknown amount of attackers bomb local High school graduation. 1257 students reported dead, approximately 400 audience members reported dead. (note, mainly parents, etc.) Motive unknown. Of class of 1262, 5 survived due to location on stage as featured speakers."_

It's worse than anything he can imagine- and he's been in an iceberg for 70 years.

She lost **everybody.** He looks further to more individualized reports, finding one on Lila.  
Steve's heart catches in his throat as he reads on, discovering how Lila found her family herself under the rubble- still in her graduation gown and haphazard cap- he squints at a grainy photo to see a valedictorian's sash across her neck.

With a causeless sense of guilt, Steve abandons his coffee and the file, and runs to the elevator to catch the smart girl who'd lost it all- Just. Like. Him.

Within minutes, he finds himself on the ground floor, realizing that Lila was probably at the coffee shop already.

Not knowing what to do, Steve asks- who else- Jarvis for help.

"_Captain Rogers, Lila Amin is approximately half a block from this building, on 45__th__ and Main Street. She has been gone for 10 minutes, so you can very well catch up to her with your superior human physiology and-"_

"Thanks Jarvis, be back!"

For the first time since the Chitauri attack, Steve runs out onto the streets of New York and heads towards the unknown.

(OOOH DRAMATIC NO?- crappy ass author)

**LILA POV**

Coffee was fucking delicious. Her mom never used to let her have it, but after she passed away a lot changed. Savoring the warm aroma, she pulled out her phone and read Director Fury's email once more.  
_"Ms. Amin. Do not forget that your task is not to babysit Capt. Rogers. You are to help assimilate into modern society, using any means necessary. You are expected to be on hand at all hours, for any of the Captain's needs. _(Lila blushed at this one, but brushed it aside- he's some 93 years old and she's barely 18)._ You were highly recommended to me by Ms. Potts. Do not fail to meet expectations or you will be replaced."_

Smiling, Lila took another bite of her scone. Yes, she'd gained 19 pounds since the graduation incident.

Yes, she knew it was because she was filling the emptiness inside with food.

Yes, she was okay with it for the time being. She was busy enough with her new job (Eek!) and until recently, school. She knew she was smart. Lila had "graduated" high school at 15, having been accepted to Columbia University on a full scholarship.

Knowing she was doing something with her life was almost consolation for losing her entire family all her friends to a freak bombing.  
Almost.

Lila was pulled out of her reverie by a gentle tap to her shoulder.

"Ah, Captain Rogers! I was hoping you'd swing by!" She's falsely expectant, completely thrown off by the tall man's appearance.

"I'm sorry for seeming so… standoffish earlier, Miss. Amin. I merely was unsure how to handle the idea of an assistant."

Something in his eyes, something sad and infinitely understanding clued her off-

"You saw the police report."  
He blushed and looked away- and instead of feeling like a goddess for making CAPTAIN AMERICA turn an unsettling shade of pink, Lila was irritated.

She knew that Fury picked her for her huge loss- there was no other reason why. Both she and the Cap had lost _everything_, and old Eye Patch thought that they could heal one another.

Sure.

You could heal a cut or an illness, but could you ever heal half of a person?

The silence was tense, and Lila first broke it.

I'm sorry, I know how rude that was. It's just something I like to get out of the way when I first meet people."  
He lifted his head and smiled (cue swooning Lila), saying "That's how I feel about my being asleep- it's a giant elephant in the room if I don't bring it up myself."

"Yes! Exactly how I feel! I realize it's petty but I just want people to know that they can mention it around me without my going into shock or something-"

Something in Lila's head perked up- Fury was smart to pick her. She _could _help Steve Rogers feel better and move on with his life.

Smiling, Lila broke her muffin in half and offered it to her new boss on a napkin.

Seeing his imminent refusal, she cuts him off.

"Now, now, Captain Rogers. I am an emotional eater and I am dangerously bad about making others around me feel bad for not eating. Try the muffin. It's blueberry, and I know that is your favorite."

He took it and popped it into his mouth in one bite. Lila forgot from time to time that the man was a _super soldier_ and at the prime of his physical life. He could eat a muffin like it was nothing.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Let it be known that I tend to avoid writing stuff like this but Stevie needs a friend and this character is like me except perfect and less of a bitch! Darcy is coming, dun dun dun Jaws music.**


	4. Emotional Eating: The Sequel

**Author's Note: I'm kind of iffy as to where I'm going with this but I LOVE the dark emotional side of Cap. America's story. Continue reading, review if you wish! I'd love it if you did 3**

Lila moved into Stark Tower the day after meeting Captain Rogers. She was glad to leave her crappy apartment, but something felt off when she entered the pristine, artfully decorated suite on the 34th floor. Steve's part of the floor was separated with a door which was wide open- an invitation, she supposed, meant to make her feel welcome. After unpacking her clothes and organizing her small but growing shoe collection by color and style, Lila felt slightly better. A few pictures on the wall completely reassured her that she could learn to love this spacious suite. There was a lovely bathroom with a Jacuzzi (!) and a fantastic shower, and what possibly may have been a bidet.  
Lila was intrigued, but decided that the best course of action was to draw Steve out of whatever corner he'd hid in all day. She entered Steve's part of the floor, only to find herself in a beautiful living area, which connected to a kitchen with a breakfast bar.

"Oh my god, yes. This is what I call a kitchen!"

Lila hurried to the fridge, and found it fully stocked with fresh fruits and vegetables, and a deli drawer with actual meat. The Ramen days were over for Lila- she could start cooking real food again!

This was heaven.

_STEVE POV STEVE POV STEVE POV_

"FWHUMP. FWHUMP." The relentless pounding of the bag was like a reminder to Steve that he was still living, breathing, seeing. He was still conflicted over the whole assistant thing- did Fury really think he needed her for the "corporate aspect" of his job? Captain America was the one thing Steve had down to a T- he was perfectly fine with his performance as a super hero. It was his "emotional aspect" which needed work- even he could admit that. It was just… how could this orphaned young girl help him? It made zero sense- his problem was being too old, and here she was, a child of the computer age. With that thought, Steve ended his boxing regimen for the day. He had overworked himself yesterday, in an attempt to avoid any awkward meetings with Lila. She'd managed to connect with him at the coffee shop, and that had scared him. Was his problem so transparent? Did it mean that he was just too stupid, too old fashioned to get over it? Bitterly pushing the turmoil down, Steve swigged from bottled water and headed towards his suite to shower. He stopped short when he smelled something heavenly coming from the kitchen, and subconsciously his legs betrayed him, taking him to the source.

Steve was stunned again when he saw the short dark headed girl in leaning in front of the never-before used oven. Unaware she had a witness; Lila began shaking her butt to a beat she alone could hear, as she carefully pulled out the steaming lasagna from the oven.

She turned to place the dish on a trivet only to see Steve sitting on a barstool, looking puzzled.

With a yelp, she put down the food and whirled around to close the oven and compose herself- and to figure out _how much he had seen_.

She realized there was no way to act slick about it- she had dropped it like it was hot in front of the world's hottest, oldest, most moral hero- and also someone she suspected was a bit inexperienced when it came to actual women.

Oops. Oh well?

"HI Captain Rogers, how are you?"

Quirking an amazingly perfect yet manly eyebrow, Steve replied,

"Alright. I don't mean to disturb but I've never smelled cooking in here before- I was just surprised."

Lila grinned broadly.

"Dude- I mean sir, I made this for lunch! I was meaning to tell you that I cook, but I didn't want to disturb you- JARVIS said you were working out. "

The look on Steve's face reminded Lila of her little brothers coming home after soccer practice, tired and sweaty, and incredibly excited for a home cooked meal. He was smiling, and cheerful, and Lila felt like her degree of law meant nothing in comparison to the accomplishment of making _Captain America_ a little less sad.

"Will you join me for lunch, Capn'?"

"Oh, I'd be honored to join you for lunch. Let me just shower off this stench and I'll be right back. See you in 10!"

Steve was true to his word, and in 10 minutes returned in a fresh pair of – what else- khaki pants and a gray tee-shirt. His hair was neatly combed, but still damp.  
Lila had set the bar with plates and utensils, and was in the process of removing a particularly high up pitcher from a cabinet.

Without announcing his presence, Steve immediately went to grab the pitcher from the cabinet- he was a foot taller than the girl after all.

He did not, however, expect her to squeal in fear at the arm reaching above her for the item in question.

"EEEEEK- oh. That was embarrassing; of course it's just you. I was afraid it would be Mr. Stark, or worse a stranger. Sit down."

Stifling a laugh, Steve sat at the bar, watching as Lila filled a pitcher with ice water. Returning to the bar she served the good Captain with a large serving of lasagna and salad.

The aroma of the food was amazing- Steve could smell garlic and basil leaves- all the stuff his Ma used to cook with back _then_. It was enough to make him a little homesick, but one bite was enough to snap him back to reality.  
"This is really good Lila! It's all home-made, right?"

With a proud nod, Lila seated herself with a distinctly smaller serving of lasagna- carbs were a killer on her hips- and dug in. After a few moments of contented eating, Lila broached a subject of which she was not sure- at all.

"So Captain… do you wear clothes that aren't in shades of brown and gray- excluding the red, white, and blue of course?"

Carefully chewing and swallowing, like a perfect gentleman, Steve replied,

"Well Miss, SHIELD provides all my clothing. I just go to my closet, and that's what's always there. I'm comfortable, and not naked, so I'm fine with it."

Shoving away the thought of a naked Steve Rogers (Something Lila would pay millions to see), she realized that she had a perfect opportunity to make him venture out into the "real world".

"So, after lunch, do you have any plans?" she asked innocently.

"Not really, no. I usually just read the news, and listen to records. Do you have something high up for me to reach?"

She smiled at the joke and plowed ahead with her less than intelligent idea.

"I was thinking that in that case, maybe we could go shopping? I'm in need of some new blouses, and I _hate _to shop alone in a big department store."

Playing the chivalry card was the correct choice, Lila thought as the captain offered to accompany her on her shopping trip of lies.  
She wanted him to shop, and explore the world around him. What better way was there to do that than with a soft pretzel in one hand and a credit card in the other?  
SHIELD had given her an unlimited account, and she meant to use it to help the world's First Avenger in any way she could- even if it meant some serious retail therapy.

**Okay so this was hard for me but oh well, I tried. Next chap is the shopping itself- and how I love hot avengers shopping. 3**


	5. Hell is a Place Called Forever 21

**I giggled writing this one… **

_Steve POV: _

Hell is a place called Forever 21. When Lila had said that she hated shopping alone, he had imagined it was because she was vulnerable to strange men and potential muggers.  
It was all a big, fat lie.

The girl just wanted someone to hold shopping bags for her- and she wasn't doing most of the shopping for herself.

Sure, she took a half hour at Forever 21 to browse for the "perfect pair of jeans", and ended up buying a couple of rings, but that was nothing compared to the torture of a department store.

It got worse though.

It took a minute for Steve to understand what was going on when Lila entered the Men's section of Nordstrom, not comprehending until she held up a ghastly lavender polo shirt against him.

"Steve, we need to get some pastels into your color palette, alright?"

"Um, I don't need clothes, and I honestly doubt I'll have need for anything so fancy."

Lila smiled at him like he was naïve, slowly choosing her words. "You're not going to be incognito forever, Captain." She looked around, and then dropped her voice to a whisper. "Soon, and I mean soon, Fury will want to make The Avengers Initiative public- and that means you'll need to be prepared for some serious PR. Not as much as Tony Stark, but enough that you'll have to show up at some events for certain causes. That is where the fancy clothes come in."

Steve mulled over the idea of socializing and schmoozing with random people at black tie events- not his cup of tea, that's for sure. He wasn't comfortable with today's shopping trip; why would he feel okay about dressing up?

The last time he'd considered dressing up was for his date with Peggy- the one he'd planned in an evil villain's plane which had been careening into an endless expanse of snow. His khaki and white tee look was a reminder of who he used to be- back when he was surer of who he was, and what he meant to people.

Now he didn't even know how to operate a microwave properly, nevertheless function as a grown up in today's world.

Clinging to a vestige of the Old Steve Rogers was worth wearing the same thing every day.

Right?

Not according to the crazy person he'd willingly allowed into his life.

"I think you need a new pair of jeans- you are seriously fit and would look perfect in a faded pair- boot cut of course, skinny jeans would look ridiculous with that body structure- oh and look at those sneakers!"

Lila was bouncing- literally bouncing- on the balls of her feet as Steve modeled the new button down shirt and jeans she'd picked for him. It was surprisingly nice, especially the jeans. Something about the soft worn in feeling of them was comforting.  
With a hopeful look in her eye, Lila asked, "Do you like it? I picked some pieces similar to that style for you, since I figured you'd go for an All-American look. If you hate it, I can just come back on my own and return it-"Steve put a finger to his lips and shushed her.

"Listen, ma'am, this is really kind of you, but I'm a simple guy. I fight for a living; I don't really need all this- this stuff! I'm headed back to SHIELD tomorrow for debriefing and a mission, anyways."  
Silence.

A quick adjustment of her ponytail (must be Lila's nervous habit, since it was always perfect when she did it) and a quiet clearing of the throat indicated that Lila was upset.

Her voice was soft when she spoke up after rehanging some shirts.

"I'm sorry. I know this seems to be a bit much, a bit stupid and shallow, but shopping is something today's people do. I know you're a super hero and you have this entirely different life, but you have to understand what regular Americans do for fun, and out of necessity. You really should consider more civilian-like civilian clothes- when you're wearing the khakis you still look like you're in uniform."

Steve impatiently shrugged and disagreed, retorting that "his life was basically his job and he couldn't be unprofessional about that- plus other members of his team dressed in uniform all the time."

Lila only smiled, and smoothly carried the conversation out of troubled waters. "Let's go to the checkout counter. I'll pay for the jeans with SHIELD's card since you actually did like them. Thanks for coming shopping with me."

_LILA POV:_

"Hi, Ms. Potts? I need a favor. Is Mr. Stark in for dinner today?" She waited a beat, watching the Captain in line to pay for two coffees at a mall kiosk. He really did stand out in his "civvies". She snapped a quick picture on her iPhone to prove it to him later, and stayed on hold as Pepper checked Tony's schedule.

"Alright Lila, Tony is actually free tonight! Is something special happening?" Pepper sounded like an actress- her voice was perfectly low and feminine, the exact opposite of Lila's shrill "bitch voice" as her brother used to call it.

"Actually Ms. Potts-""Pepper please, Lila." "Pepper, can you arrange for Mr. Stark and yourself if you're not busy to have dinner with Captain Rogers and me? I want him to experience more social situations, but I'll need Stark to be nice." Pepper quickly agreed, and promised a subdued Tony Stark. "Before I go, Lila, why tonight? I figured you'd take Steve out into the real world more than just in Tony's fantasy world, a la Stark Tower." Lila thought it over for a beat before replying, "I actually tried that today. We went shopping, with security nearby of course (something Steve hadn't noticed, which was a major plus!), and Steve hates what this world is. I know he won't say anything but he can't stand the materialism and the shopping and the change. I just wanted him to buy something other than khakis, and I opened this whole can of inner conflict worms for the poor guy. Oh I gotta go! He's headed towards me, thanksbyePepper!"

_Steve POV:_

It was awkward on the drive home. Lila was a good driver, with a steady hand, but she seemed distracted. Steve felt a little guilty about snapping at her in the dressing room, but he couldn't deny that the shopping trip was an unwelcome attempt on Lila's part to shove him into the real world. It was something he just could not deal with yet- couldn't she accept that?

The irrational part of his brain cheered at that- "Steve, she's getting paid big bucks by Fury to make you less of a nutjob- it means you can kill more bad guys for him with less psychological emotional crap going on in your head." The rational part of his brain differed- "Come now Steve. First of all, she's hired to do this. You know you want to feel better, and move on from your past. Accept it."

Steve had a headache and just wanted to go home and watch old movies. Lately he's been on a _Gone with the Wind _kick- something about the "loss of everything you ever knew about society" theme appealed to his heart.

Lila had other plans. They were close to the Stark Tower parking garage when she lowered her radio volume (NPR of course) to speak. "I'm sorry I forced this on you, this whole shopping scheme. I know you're irritated and you are completely justified, so hear me out on this next thing. Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts are coming for dinner. It will be an hour long, maximum. I'm doing this because to be quite frank, I just want you to feel more at ease with people in casual settings. I know you've spent _plenty _of time with Stark, and he's a bit grating, but this is different because you are not on a battlefield risking your life. This is about building up your life. Please don't be mad." She was earnest, and nervous, and quite obviously afraid of saying the wrong thing.

She reminded Steve of his old pre-serum self. It was a bit refreshing to see Lila feeling less than confident, but saddening at the same time. She was, after all, just a kid.

His rational side won that battle. "Alright, Miss. Amin. We'll have dinner with them, and I'll be charming, and I promise to help reach all the high up dishes." He smiled, aware that she had a small crush on him, and hoped that it would calm her down.

"YES! I am beyond excited for this! I hate the way Tony Stark makes fun of you, and yes he's an amazing individual but his personality sucks! I CAN FINALLY CALL HIM OUT ON IT. FINALLY."  
Steve's rational side began to scream and kick in frustration-

"Uh, Lila, that is not at all what I had in mind. I thought we could just talk, be civil to one another. Has the world changed so much that a dinner must involve fighting?"

Lila was quick to reply however; "Captain Rogers, weren't you the one who said that you can't stand a bully? That you'd stand up to any bully for anyone not strong enough to stand up for themselves?"

Steve could see where she was going. Damn it, she was such a lawyer child-prodigy.

"Yeah, yeah. I said that."  
"Isn't Stark's constant belittling of you based on your very tragic past considered bullying?"

"I suppose, but that's just how he is with everyone."  
"Not true."

"I think I've spent more time with the man than you, Lila."  
"I've read his psychological evaluations from SHIELD. From what I gather, he resents you for what you represented in his relationship with his father, Howard. You're a not so subtle reminder of the friction he shared with his dad, and while that absolutely is sad for Tony Stark, you have done nothing to deserve it. I'm a lawyer, and I will defend people who need it. Let me help you out tonight, alright?"

Steve was at this point staring ahead out the windshield.

He hadn't had someone stand up for him in a while.

It was a bit disconcerting, and slightly unwelcome at this point in their work relationship (as if it wasn't awkward enough living with an 18 year old girl- no more sleeping in boxers), but mostly it made Steve feel fuzzy on the inside. Maybe, just maybe, she could help him out.

He turned to Lila, and smiling asked, "What will you cook for dinner?"

**Okay so I have no idea if this is good. If you read this, if you like **_**any **_**of it, or if you see something glaringly wrong with this, please please review and let me know. I want this to be good! I also want Darcy times soon **


	6. Testosterone is Overrated

**I'm not bashing Tony; I'm just addressing something in his and Steve's relationship. Feel free to comment/criticize! **

_Lila POV _

Dinner was going to be a casual affair. Lila was still stuffed from her lasagna at lunch and her snack at the mall, but she knew that superheroes like Captain America and Ironman needed their carbs and proteins 3 times a day, every day. She compromised and made grilled chicken Caesar salad and fancy grilled cheese sandwiches. Putting away the pesto and mozzarella cheese, Lila thought over her day. Did she do the right thing inviting Stark and Pepper for dinner? Can she actually stand up for Captain Rogers the way she said she would?

Only one way to find out, she supposed.

She gave the table one final appraising look, smiling at the flowers she'd manage to procure with Jarvis' help. Living in the swankiest building in NYC was amazing, especially for someone who loved home decor as much as she did.

Lila realized she'd forgotten the salt and pepper shakers in the kitchen, and dragged a chair to a cabinet in order to reach them (high up above the stove of course). Steve came in at that moment, and gentlemanly as ever came to the rescue.

"Here, let me get it," rang a voice behind Lila, scaring her half to death. "WAH! - Oh my goodness, Cap! STOP SNEAKING UP BEHIND ME! Stealthy people make me nervous, and thank you."

Steve frowned at her, and backed away towards the table. "You're pretty jumpy. You should probably get used to my helping you out with high-ups. It's kind of my thing, helping people."

Lila knew that. She knew more about Captain America than most people, and she knew that her admiration for him was rooted in that quality of his. She felt she owed him some kind of explanation, but the truth was far too intimate to share with someone she'd known for all of 2 days.

She improvised with something close to the truth- partially.

"I've lived on my own since I was 15. After high school graduation, I had to learn to take care of myself. I've had to reach the high ups on my own for so long, I've forgotten what it feels like to be around someone who can help you. I'll try not to shriek next time you help me."

He looked satisfied with her response, and ever the gentleman offered to toss the salad for her.  
Lila was glad for her quick thinking, considering how far from the truth her answer had turned out to be. How could she explain that people surprising her was awful, awful, awful for her to swallow? Her last major surprise was the mass murder of every person in her life who had ever mattered and who she had ever loved.

Surprises weren't her cup of tea.

Sue her.

_Steve POV_

She was lying to him, just a little. Considering how often Steve lied when explaining his feelings to others, he could see it in others a mile away. It was her business, whatever was bothering her, so he let it be. As it was, there was a knock on the door.

Lila's voice was normal when she asked JARVIS (She politely requested an AI to do a task it was created for. Go figure.) to open the door to a smiling Pepper and a grumbling Tony. "Hello there!" she chimed cheerily.  
Steve was a bit more solemn, and asked, "How are you both?"

They were both unheard as Tony was quite displeased with the day's turn of events.  
"But Pep, I thought this was _our _evening! I was going to show you the new propulsion fan on the suit, and I got that crappy low calorie beer you like!"

Pepper was immaculate in a white summer dress, and like a patient mother calmed Tony down by promising that she'd have a "special nightcap" with him before going to bed.

Even Steve knew that meant sex. 70 years ago, he would have had a problem with what Pepper was doing with Tony. Hell, 7 months ago he would have had a tough time being okay with premarital sex. Now, however, he could understand it. Time was short, especially for an Avenger. Marriage wasn't always an option, especially for a couple as convoluted and strange as Pepper and Tony. It was enough for them both to share some happiness, in case the worst did happen.

With Tony's tantrum resolved, Pepper turned to Lila and air kissed her while examining the place.

"I haven't seen this suite since you moved in, Captain! I'm impressed, this is absolutely lovely. And Lila, how are you settling in?"

The question was genuinely warm in tone, and reminded Lila of her best friend who she _would not remember right then because she would start sniffling. _Sometimes, smiling and pretending was all she could pull off convincingly.

"I'm great! Captain Rogers is an amazing person to work for, and he tolerates my inane conversation which is an added bonus for any person I know." She grinned at her boss, and turned to the kitchen once more to bring the warm sandwiches from the oven. "Dinner is served! I went with a Texas special, something mom would make my friends and I when we were studying for final exams." With a bit of a flourish, she peeled hot foil from a baking dish to reveal perfectly browned grilled cheese sandwiches, with a garnish of basil leaves. Steve brought the salad to the table, and they all sat.

"Captain Rogers, would you like to say a quick prayer?" Lila asked.

Steve was shocked- he thought all religion was dead in this day and age.  
"Certainly, Miss. Amin. Let me just think- ah, I remember one. My grandpa would recite this every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter dinner. _Thank God Almighty for this blessed food, on this blessed day, with these blessed people. Dig in. Amen." _

Steve reached for the pitcher of iced tea, and as he poured into his glass managed to spill it all over himself. "Damnit. I'll have to go change, please excuse me for a moment."

"Of course not Captain Rogers, see you soon."  
Pepper looked faintly perplexed as Lila batted her eyes and smiled sweetly at her boss. Tony took the opportune silence to speak. "So I have to ask, Lila. You invited us here for dinner the day after you got hired. Are we celebrating the resolution of Captain Rogers' emotional troubles from his beauty sleep so soon, or are we providing a distraction from the obvious failure of SHIELD's shitty plan to fix Father Time?"

Pepper sent Tony a warning glare, trying to change the subject. "Lila, I had to ask, when you went to Columbia, did you have a Professor Yarborough of Constitutional Law? My colleague, an attorney for Stark Industries actually-" Tony cut off her explanation and continued. "As I was trying to ask Miss. Amin, why did you invite us for dinner? Are things already so awkward that you cannot bear to eat alone? Or do you see no other way of providing the Cap with external stimulation?"

Lila remained calm, and replied, "Of course not. While I do indeed find this job to be challenging, I am not so desperate as to require help from you at this point." (1 point for Lila) Turning towards the now furious redhead, Lila replied to her earlier inquiry. "I did know Professor Yarborough- he in fact wrote my recommendation letter to SHIELD for my job application. At the time I was only expecting to to get a job as a legal aide; this was an opportunity that I could not refuse." Tony looked miffed at being ignored, and turned the charm on. "I'm sorry Lila. I didn't mean to question your abilities. I think I'm moreso questioning the fidelity of Captain America's sanity. I mean, my father thought the world of him (no one noticed the dawning realization on Lila's face) for god knows what reason, but I'm a scientist. I question. It's in my nature to doubt, to reconsider what is accepted as truth." Lila gave him one final chance, and attempted to change the subject.

"So tell me, Tony, how was it that you were able to make JARVIS as amazingly efficient as he is today?"

Tony shook his head, and waved aside her olive branch of peace, plunging further into the rudeness.

"Do you think you can actually help Steve Rogers assimilate into modern society, Lila? Really, are you so naïve to believe you can achieve the impossible?"

His blue eyes twinkled, and Lila's brown eyes snapped. "Mr. Stark. I find your tone wholly repugnant and quite insensitive. I could ask you the same question regarding every party you throw- are you celebrating the resolution of your emotion troubles from your unfortunate incident in Afghanistan, or are you trying to cover up your increasing sense of helplessness in the face of time and life? Do you truly suffer so greatly from "daddy issues" that you cannot feel compassion and tolerance for a man who has nothing but good intentions towards you? Howard Stark may have been wrong in preaching the qualities of Captain America to you throughout your childhood, but that's no excuse to be a bully."

Pepper was looking faintly green with nausea and discomfort as Tony took a smooth sip of his tea. "Touché Miss. Amin. You are quite perceptive, no? I'm willing to be nicer to the Capinator if you're willing to admit that SHIELD is going about this entire thing completely wrong."

Lila knew a victory when she saw one. "I do agree with your point about SHIELD's choice of me as a pseudo counselor of Captain America. I can do nothing to help him until he's ready, and that's his choice. He's earned that, and so much more, after losing so much. I can only pray and hope that I can help him without screwing- I mean ruining anything."

Steve chose that moment to enter the dining room, not allowing his face to show his shock at Tony's animosity and his pleasant surprise at Lila's passionate defense of him.

Taking his seat, Steve turned his attentions to Pepper Potts, asking questions about her Great Aunt Lydia (whom he'd accidentally met during a Skype session she'd had with Pepper). He gave no indication of his inner battle between fury at Tony and gratitude towards his annoying assistant.

Lila quirked an eyebrow at Tony, wordlessly asking if they were okay, "relationship" wise. His response was to take a bite of his grilled cheese, and to groan in happiness at the melted cheese and pesto.

She was happy. There was no need to make an enemy of the man who owned her entire essential life, but that didn't mean he could stomp all over _her _boss.


	7. Aftermath

**I'm so happy that people are reading this! Shoutout to LordSanguine for reviewing and talking to me about the plot! It's really nice And so I'm not redeeming Tony Stark for a chapter or two but it SHALL HAPPEN dramatically. Promise xoxo**

_Steve POV:_

Dinner had been a strange success. After overhearing Tony and Lila argue over him, he had realized that whether he liked it or not, he had a staunch defender in Lila. She was quite obvious in her displeasure with Tony Stark, despite her cheery act throughout the meal. Tony seemed to try to make it up to her by eating twice his normal amount of food, and maintaining a cheery banter which could only be described as disconcerting.

It was over by 9:30 PM, and with an apologetic hug, Lila sent the billionaire and his lover out the door with wrapped up leftover brownies.

As Jarvis automatically shut the door, Lila wearily leaned against the wall and covered her face with her hands. She was clearly upset, and unwilling to allow herself to show it until she was alone. Giving her some privacy was a small gift in comparison to her fearless attack on the world's only genius playboy philanthropist superhero. He went to the kitchen and began to load the dishes into the washer, just like Pepper had shown him so many months ago. He rarely needed to use the washing machine since he scarcely used more than one plate a day. Rinsing and scrubbing made for mindless wandering of thoughts.

Steve immediately thinks of Tony Stark's clear dislike of him. Yes, Howard had been a dear friend, but Tony was so much more to him as a friend. He knew that the billionaire had gone to great lengths to restore his life to some kind of normal, and that he respected him as a work colleague, but it was clear that he did not respect him as a man.

What would it take to prove himself to the man in a shiny suit?

And Lila… She was a whole other story. Why had she been so angry for his sake? Nothing Tony had said was new. Maybe it had to do with her addition to the unsolvable equation which was Steve's future.

Maybe she was already sure that she was going to fail at fixing his life for him.

It didn't matter.

Steve was done with the dishes and ready for bed. Since he had to report to SHIELD Headquarters the following morning at 0700 hours, he needed to get as much sleep as possible. There was always a chance that a mission would come up and remove any time for rest.

He decided to call it a night, and yelled a perfunctory "G'nite!" to Lila's general direction. When he got no reply, he was irritated.

"Lila, I said good night!"

There was silence and then a sort of distorted "Good night."

Steve realized that Lila had been crying then, and felt horrible for interrupting her in a moment of self-pity, but knew from personal experience that wallowing in it alone was no help to her. He ignored his inner desire to just head to bed, and instead walked to Lila's door instead. He knocked once, twice, before opening the door just a crack.

"Hello?"

Lila was already in her pajamas, in her bed, on her portable computer.

Steve had one too, but didn't really know much besides turning it on and using word to write out reports for SHIELD missions. "Are you alright, Miss. Amin? You sounded… upset."

She untangled herself from her comforter and swung her legs out to the side of the bed. She was wearing pink pajama pants and a tee shirt that said "CLASS OF 2010, GO WILDCATS" in faded maroon.

"I'm fine Captain Rogers. I have had a long day, and I was just feeling a tad homesick. Just a few silly tears. It's nothing at all." She sniffled, and wiped her eyes.

Unconvinced, Steve asked once more, "Are you sure? I know Tony can be a bit much, but you were excellent at dinner tonight."

Lila's eyes narrowed as she asked,

"How do you know Tony was a bit much? Tony was only a problem while you were getting changed, which means that you must have been listening in to his idiocy. Am I right?"

Unwilling to lie, Steve nodded.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Amin."

"Don't you dare apologize when this is your home, and when you were the one being insulted- unjustly I might add. I meant every word I said by the way."

"Even the parts filled with insecurity and disagreement with SHIELD's methods?"  
"Especially those parts, to be honest. You and I both know that there is no textbook case to refer to in this situation. You are an anomaly to SHIELD, and I am like a scientist wildly conjecturing to find a way to explain for them."

Steve was happy to hear her admit directly to him, what he had been wondering for months. He still felt bad for the girl; she was merely a tool for SHIELD to utilize until worn out. It was a pity, because she was brilliant. A failure the size of Captain America (6 ft tall, 225 lbs) would probably ruin her career.

He decided to show some sympathy; "Lila, you do realize that SHIELD chose you because you were the only person close to capable to doing this job? I know you've gone through a lot more than most people do in their whole lifetime, but you can do this." He didn't expect the comment to strike her so deeply.

She looked smaller than her 18 years when she asked, "How do you know? Can you feel a difference? It's been one trainwreck of a day, am I making any difference? I'm basically just rooming here, trying to find ways to draw you out without being obvious or crass, and overall failing to make the modern world appealing to you because let's face it, it just isn't as pure and kind as it used to be. I know today's world well because I know how much it freaking sucks, not because I went to college three years early. You have every right to resist adapting, because molding yourself to this world means becoming something colder and harder than what you are." She was embarrassed when she finished her diatribe, and apologized quietly. "I'm really sorry that I'm a horrible fake assistant, who tells her boss all her sad girl problems. You should go to bed now, you're going to need your sleep for Fury's early morning briefing tomorrow."

"It's alright, Miss. Amin. I'm honored that you had the moxie to speak up to Mr. Stark's rudeness when I wasn't there, and I'm sorry that this job is making you so stressed. Let me know when you need to talk. I'll be sure to return the favor, if need be." He sounded less formal for once, despite the F. Scott Fitzgerald-esque word choice.

"Thanks Captain. You're a hero on and off the battle field, did you know?"

He shut her door, as he left Lila, and walked into his room. Glancing at the framed photograph of Peggy, Steve sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

What the hell was SHIELD thinking sending a little girl to take care of a problem like this? Obviously he was too fucked up for a normal psychological evaluation, so they sent in their last option.

As always, Steve's pajamas were neatly folded over his chair (could Jarvis do that?) where he could reach them.

That was reassuring.

So Steve didn't like change. That did _not _make him a freak- in fact it made him more normal than he could even imagine.

**Ugh this was awful. HELP HELP.**


	8. Of Boxing and Balls

**I'm so irritated, this plot is stuck and I can't find a way to unstick it!**

**I'll keep at it I guess.**

_Steve POV:_

It was 5 AM, and it was time to wake up for someone in the military. Captain Steve Rogers of the United States Army woke up at 5 AM every morning, was dressed in minutes, and eating breakfast by the time the sun had risen.

Things hadn't changed, 70 years later. He woke up, did his customary wakeup work out (100 pushups, 100 sit ups, and some yoga Natasha Romanoff had taught him). Showered, brushed, and changed into his khakis.

He made his way to the kitchen, looking forward to a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal- the 21st century had improved food that was for sure. Upon entering the breakfast nook, Steve stopped. At the bar was a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast with jam and butter on the side, plus juice AND coffee. Damn.

Next to the plate lay a pink post it note, which said "Couldn't sleep, made breakfast. Good luck at work today! Lila. PS- sorry about the pathetic weeping. Won't happen again."

It was a pleasant start to what may not be the best of days for Steve. He hated Nick Fury in the morning.

_Lila POV:_

The muted early morning sunlight filtered into her room in a Disney-like way; it was gradual, and gentle. Not. The sun bitch-slapped Lila awake at 8 AM, brighter and earlier than she'd had to be up in a long time. She shook herself fully awake and headed to the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. She considered showering and changing, then decided against it, choosing to instead work out a little before getting ready for the day.

_In the gym, 52__nd__ floor of Stark Tower._

Lila finished wrapping her lucky pink tape around her hand before tightening it into a fist, testing to see if it would hold. Boxing had been her most successful means of dealing with the loss of her family, with emotional eating as a second place (Ironic, of course). She had wandered into a local gym for kids, and caught a couple of girls duking it out with one another. Something about the easy grace, and controlled violence of the sport appealed to the then very, _very _angry Lila Amin. Within days she was signed up for a beginner's class, and a receipt for all pink boxing gear.

As time passed, the fury faded to a dull throb which only stirred when poked repeatedly.

At Stark Tower, the gym was amazing. The boxing ring was legitimate, with the right consistency of floor, and the punching bags with the quality sand, not the cheap shit used in movies. After doing her jump rope warm up for 10 minutes, Lila began running through some basic reps on some stationary pads. The firm THUNK of glove against pads was comforting to someone who was almost violently peaceful. Lila finished her warm up exercises and moved on to the punching bag, her favorite. Positioning herself carefully, she began to practice her technique in a series of 2-3 minute reps. When she took a short break to gulp some water, Lila was shocked to see Pepper Potts quietly doing Pilates exercises on a mat on the other side of the gym. Ignoring her surprise (She hated them, remember?), Lila continued to jab and punch at the bag, until she felt the familiar endorphin rush of a good work out.

"You're pretty good for someone so small. I didn't know you boxed."

Pepper stood gracefully (who can even do that) sipping from a bottle of some kind of wheat grass, dressed in skintight work out gear. Lila looked at her grubby sweat suit and shrugged, replying "I have a lot of free time when I'm not studying. I'm a bit obsessive about things which interest me. Boxing is one."  
Pepper grinned, and poked at the pink gloves hanging from Lila's shoulder like a purse. "These are absolutely adorable. Did you have to special order them?"

Within minutes, Lila was sucked into a conversation about the pros and cons of online shopping, after which she was invited for breakfast at the top floor of Stark Tower.

Lila hadn't realized she was already heading up in the elevator towards the 100th floor, and worriedly asked, "Is Mr. Stark mad at me about… last night?" The older woman smiled and shook her head.

She slowly said, "The thing about Tony, and believe me I know him well, is that he is a pompous man. I normally do not badmouth him, but you're my friend (Lila internally screamed in fangirly joy) and I know you understand the assumed confidentiality of basically all of your conversations here. Anyways, he knows what he said last night was out of line and rude, even more than usual for him. Besides, he likes people who are quick with their words and sassy. He's kinda sassy too, if you hadn't noticed." "Thank GOD. I was so worried last night, I could barely sleep."

Pepper looked so understanding at that, Lila wanted to hug her, sweat and all. "I know how tough working for men like this is. I mean, I have Tony's idiosyncrasies to handle, but I am very close to him. I know how to deal with him. The last person to deal with the real Steve Rogers died one year before he was found and rescued from the ice." Lila looked puzzled and asked, "Who?"

"Peggy."

"Oh. Poor, poor Captain Rogers. I mean, just how awful can lives get for such heroic, good people?"

Pepper sighed in agreement, and efficiently slid into her "Take Control Mode", ordering two omelets from Jarvis, while pouring orange juice and embroiling Lila into lighthearted discussion of whether or not she should dye her hair blonde in order to shock Tony Stark.

It was reminiscent of her friendships in high school and the end of college, when she'd recovered enough from her emotional shitstorm to make new acquaintances.  
It was a good feeling.

That feeling was interrupted by the sound of Lila's phone ringing, with a SHIELD logo for Caller ID. Immediately excusing herself and picking up her workout gear, Lila hightailed out of the apartment, answering on the 3rd ring.  
"Hello, Lila Amin speaking." Sadly, it wasn't Agent Coulson, may he rest in peace, but Nick Fury's new second in command, Agent Maria Hill. "Good morning Miss. Amin. I am calling for a report on Captain Rogers' progress in re-assimilation into modern society."

Lila sighed. Damn SHIELD with their damn machine like qualities- couldn't they see an organic, living breathing problem when it saved their lives with a red white and blue shield?

"Agent Hill, I specified this when speaking with Director Fury initially- this is a process, not a 3 step recipe on the back of a can of soup. I need time and patience on SHIELD's part. I'm not a miracle worker, I'm only trying to do what was asked of me." Agent Hill turned on her bitch voice and replied, "I hope you realize that time is of the essence when it comes to the Avengers Initiative, Miss. Amin. We do have your full cooperation, correct? You don't seem to understand the grave implication your failure would have on this organization." Lila was not enjoying this conversation. "I realized that when I accepted this random government job after graduating from an Ivy League University, despite numerous higher paying offers from multiple firms across the East Coast. I am doing the best I can. I was selected by Fury himself, so if you question his decision, take it to him. In the meantime, let me do my job. I have research to do." "Good day Miss. Amin."

Ugh. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Something about that woman made her want to force feed her some Midol.

_Steve POV:_

SHIELD meetings sucked ass. The morning was wasted on a long droning presentation on the current situation in Russia, China, North Korea, etc . Various bad guys were up to the same nefarious deeds they were up to 70 years ago, except that the technology was better now.

Steve knew this wasn't his time to listen. His job was to lead the mission in situ, and maintain the team in whatever way he could. He expected to hear of a factory in Serbia to take down as their mission that day, not "A public attempt to appeal to the masses that The Avengers were not rogue terrorists."

"Excuse me?" Steve was surprised to hear that they would be pandering to the likes of the media.

"What is the issue, Captain?"  
"Why the hell are we trying to butter up the media? We're supposed to be heroes who save people, not celebrities!"

Nick Fury sounded irritated as he slowly re-explained why they needed to go public.

"You all destroyed part of NYC. Not your fault, but you're what was fully captured on television. The media painted you as heroes, the local government named you as the villains. It's our job now to do some damage repair, as they say in PR."

Steve recalled Lila saying something about that yesterday and in spite of him was impressed. The girl had guessed Director Fury's plans before he had revealed them. He then felt bad for refusing her well-meaning shopping trip.

He tuned back into the conversation.

Agent Hill was now speaking: "There are 3 events which you are all required to attend. (Tony and Clint both groaned- loudly) First is an opening of a high school in Brooklyn. You'll cut a ribbon, tell kids to stay in school, and overall _**behave.**_Do I make myself clear? (nods all around) After the high school opening is a fundraising lunch for the Boy Scouts of America- Mr. Stark, since you recently donated a priceless collection of art to the organization, you have been asked to give a few words regarding what it means to be a hero." "Did you send the memo to Pepper?" "Yes, Stark, I sent it to Ms. Potts." "I guess that means I'll have a speech ready for the lunch."

Fury looked grim at his final announcement. "The last event is a black tie ball for charity- breast cancer. It is the most important event because it involves the most vocal opponents of the Avengers- the local politicians, senators, congressmen, etc. Be charming. Schmooze. Drink some champagne. The school opening is day after next- you will receive briefing as to specific protocol. The lunch is afterwards, and the dinner is that night. It is one day, and I expect nothing but the best in terms of results."

The director stood, indicating that the meeting was over. Everyone quickly filed out, and Steve was planning on hightailing it until Fury called him back.

"Rogers. Here please."

"Yes, Director?"

"How's Lila working out?"  
"She… is very impressive. It's still strange. I think she might be able to help, I'm unsure as yet."

Nick Fury looked pleased, which was frightening in its very concept. "I'm glad. The girl is top of her class; I think SHIELD execs will want to keep her. Anyways, I want her to come with you to the three aforementioned events."

Steve internally groaned- did he really need a baby sitter? He looked 27 and was actually some 88 years old, which made him fully capable of watching himself.  
"I won't spill any food on my tux, Director. I don't need her there."  
"You do. I want you talking, charming the pants off politicians. You're one of the most normal members of your team which says something- Lila will be an asset, I promise. Tell her to take go shopping (How did he already know about that?) again, without you, and we'll supply your clothes."  
Steve was slow. "Why would she go shopping if you'll supply my clothes?"  
Nick Fury was looking happy again which was freaking Steve out. "A woman always needs a new outfit. She also needs some kind of a gown for the ball at night, so she actually has a reason for shopping. It won't always be that way, I can tell you from experience."  
Oh

Well then

Okay.

Steve wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Lila was, when she received the email during their shared dinner of leftover lasagna and salad.

"Oh my gosh! Yay! YAY YAY! Why didn't you tell me I get to go to social PR events with the Avengers?" She was jubilant over the idea of dressing up and wearing fancy clothes- she was still a girlish teenager at heart, despite her serious act. It was almost endearing, except that this directly affected him.  
"I wasn't thrilled that I needed a keeper for the festivities, is all."  
She smiled and shook her head in exasperation. "Captain, do you not realize that all of the Avengers have keepers? Agents Barton and Romanoff serve as one another's, Pepper is Tony's, Jane Porter is Thor's- ah, I wonder who they will assign to Dr. Banner? It doesn't matter- SHIELD doesn't trust any of you so you are all babysat at these types of things!"

She made it sound almost nice of SHIELD.

Almost.


	9. Life's Too Short

**I've got an idea, finally, as to where I might go with this. YAY! And thanks to reviewers, let me know what to improve!**

_Lila POV: _

The morning of the day before "THE AVENGERS PUBLIC RELATIONS INITIATIVE", as she had personally dubbed it, was exhilarating. Lila began with an early workout session at 8 (Thank god the Captain had already come and gone from the gym, and left for training at SHIELD), and then headed to a nearby beauty salon for a mani-pedi and haircut. Afterwards, she went to an exclusive dress boutique (Yay for SHIELD credit cards!) and picked out a suitable outfit for the opening and luncheon, and a gown for the ball. She was by then starving, and grabbed a sandwich before going to a shoe store and spending an unholy amount of money on a couple of pairs of killer high heels. It was relaxing and therapeutic to take some time to pamper herself, and it was almost 4 PM by the time Jarvis opened the doors to the suite for her.  
"Had a busy day there, huh?" Steve's voice seemed disembodied behind all of the packages in Lila's arms, and she was unsure as to where he actually stood. As a result, the girl managed to walk straight into him, exclaiming over her day as she moved.

As the bags and boxes tumbled to the ground, Lila clapped her hand to her mouth and giggled. "I am sooo sorry! I need to learn to look where I'm going! And I was walking and talking, ugh, I'm such a klutz." She knelt to pick up her scattered purchases, as the Captain helped. Once gathered, she led him into her room, where she carefully laid everything out on her bed.

He looked questioningly at the sheer amount of crap she had bought, and Lila felt the need to defend herself.  
"Hey, don't look at me like that- I needed a new dress for the opening/lunch, and a gown for the ball, and shoes for each, and purses, plus accessories, and of course make up. I had a lot to get done in one day, I'm lucky to have found everything!"

Raising an eyebrow, the Captain smirked, "Sheesh, women. I'm just fine wearing my uniform to the opening, thank you very much."  
There was nothing to say to that logic, so Lila stuck her tongue out at her boss. "You'll be glad that I'm well-dressed tomorrow- Natasha, Pepper, and Jane are going to look PHENOMENAL at the ball, and I need to at least try to keep up! Hopefully, if I do my job right, you'll have your own special girl to take to events like this."

She sounded so optimistic it was pathetic. Lila knew that she was word vomiting, but it wasn't as if he didn't already know that he'd be stuck with the frumpiest date of the night. The other women were practically supermodels, and she was just a fat girl from Texas.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

_Steve POV:_

Dinner was Chinese takeout- apparently Lila had to study "something", and didn't have time to cook. It was fine; since Steve did not expect her to cook every night- he just hoped it would be a regular occurrence.

As she ate, Lila asked Steve questions about his "past" life. "What's your favorite movie?"

He thought for a moment, chewing on an eggroll as he considered. "Casablanca. I always liked Humphrey Bogart, and unrequited love stories." Lila only smiled, and replied, "It figures. What about your favorite book?"

"Gatsby." Lila's mouth dropped open. "SHUT UP! No, that doesn't literally mean be quiet, I'm just surprised!" "Why is that such a big deal?" "It's just, I don't know, one of my FAVORITE novels of all time. Like it's in my top ten- first rate romance and modernism at its height and of course because F. Scott Fitzgerald is an amazing author!"

"I just like it because Jay Gatsby never gets what he thinks he wants. I like how it's all about people wanting and wanting, and not getting anything they actually desired."  
Lila seemed touched. "That is one of the best reasons I've ever heard to like _The Great Gatsby_. You're very good with words, Captain. Maybe _you _should consider writing on the side."

Steve only shook his head, and picked up his plate (Who used a plate to eat takeout?), loading it into the dishwasher.  
"I don't know about you, but I'm done for the night. I'm going to sleep, good night."

Remembering her weepy outburst the night before, Lila made sure to smile extra bright as she wished him a good night's sleep as well.

_Later that night_

For the first time in a couple of months, Steve dreamt about Peggy. _She and he are on his motorcycle, her dark curls whipping about in the wind. She's laughing and talking, but he can't hear anything except for the sound of water rushing over his ears. Suddenly there's no sound, and he's trapped in a sea of white- he doesn't realize it is snow until he grabs a fistful and crushes it. He is falling deeper and deeper into a patina abyss; the more Steve struggles, the lower he sinks. Finally, unable to see Peggy or escape the white madness, he opens his mouth to let the snow engulf his breathing. He is on the verge of blackness when a hand grasps his, and pulls him out. Once freed, he sees it's Peggy and embraces her tightly- only to be pushed away by a crying Lila, who repeats over and over again: I'm not the one you want, I'm not the one you need. He tries to grab her hand but she turns into a twisted Peggy, who also chants, "I'm not who you want, I'm not who you need." _

He awoke in a sweaty tangle of sheets, but he was very, very cold. Steve had had nightmares, but never ones so vivid or real. Before he realized it, he was knocking on Lila's door. She opened it almost immediately, obviously awake and on her laptop computer.

"Steve, what's wrong? Are you- is everything alright?"  
"No it's not. I just… I can't understand what my subconscious is trying to tell me. I'm feeling completely lost- gah! Forget it."  
"Did you have bad dream?" In the lamplight she looks younger, more serene. Leading him to sit on her bedside, Lila pulls up a chair and sits in front of him.

"Yes. It was a nightmare- first there was Peggy, for the first time in months, and it was good but then I was drowning, and then it was she who saved me but it was you and then both of you telling me that…"

He stopped, unsure if he was even remembering correctly.

Lila sensed his reticence to share, and helped him out.

"You're just stressed. SHIELD is a high-stress job, plus you've got to deal with me. I know you're just adjusting to everything, and the struggle will manifest itself in your subconscious. Don't fight it, but don't let it hurt you like this."  
"How can I just forget… _that?_"

"Let it go. You are battling something out within yourself, and once you figure it out, you'll be free as a bird. You're doing so well right now; don't let your dream state dictate your feelings."  
She sounded so sane that Steve was able to push away his doubts regarding his sanity.

Changing the subject, he asked, "What were you doing up? It's 2 AM."

She smiled, and showed him her laptop screen. On it were photos of what must have been her family- predominantly showing a woman and two boys, plus Lila herself.

"I look at the pictures once in a while. It's like picking at an old scab to see if it still hurts. The day it stops hurting is the day I know I've gone insane."

Steve was touched. He treasured his photo of Peggy, and knew how much a picture could mean to someone who had lost everything.

"Can I see?"

"Of course, let me just make room here." Pointing at one of the four at a wedding, she indicated who was who. The overweight but jolly faced woman was "Mama- my rock. After my Dad passed when I was 8, she became my best friend. She was half sister, half mother most of the time." The tall, bearded almost-man was "Ahmed. He was 14 at the time of… you know. People thought we were twins, or that he was older. All my friends were in love with him." The shorter boy with floppy hair and big ears was "Shahid. He was my baby. I loved imagining him growing into a man."

Lila was obviously upset, so the Captain had to do something. Giving her an awkward hug, he gingerly lifted the laptop and set it aside on the side table.

"Sleep Miss. Amin. I know how memories can keep one awake, but go to sleep. It's late."  
Sighing, Lila obediently got into her bed.

"Thanks, Captain."  
"Thanks, Lila. G'nite."

"Night. Sleep well, we've got a busy day tomorrow!"

They sure did.


	10. Lila Joins the Avengers Initiative

**Sorry for the late update, I had a wedding to attend! Thanks for the reads!**

_Lila POV_

It was 6 AM. Lila Amin was awake, shaving her legs, and wondering why she was doing this before anyone, anyone at all was awake.

She supposed that she already knew the answer to that. It wasn't her favorite thing about herself, but should anyone (God forbid) marry her, they would need to know.

Lila was a bit obsessive about the way she looked. Not so much the weight, but clothing, hair, and makeup?

Lila didn't like people to know just how anal retentive she was about her personal appearance.

She _especially _didn't want the supermodel-like GOD who she lived with to find out, which was why she was showering before the sun rose.

As she toweled off, Lila thought of the day ahead of her. First was a brief breakfast for her and the Captain- she'd already made pancake batter and refrigerated it the night before. By then it should be close to 9 AM, and the SHIELD car would have arrived to transport them to a new magnet school in Brooklyn- namely, The Rutherford B. Hayes School for Girls. After Captain America cut the ribbon, and Hawkeye told kids that education was the stepping stone to success, they'd head over to a nearby hotel for a Boy Scouts of America Luncheon. Tony Stark would say a few words to drum up some donations for the organization, followed by a crappy catered meal which would irritate Lila to no end (She hated bad catering).

After that-

That was the highlight of her day. The black tie ball- which meant Steve Rogers in a tuxedo- which meant Lila in a swoon. Actually, it meant Lila in a beautiful dress she was absolutely in love with. It was hidden in her closet, where she would occasionally glance towards and giggle.

After blowdrying her hair, Lila set it into a simple chignon and applied a moderate amount of hairspray. The clock read 7 by the time Lila had done her makeup, which made her realize that as usual she was prepared pathetically early for the event. To pass some time, Lila went to the living room and checked the weather. Conversing with Jarvis (not that sad considering how close to a person this AI was) was pleasant until she heard the Captain shut his bedroom door. By then it was 7:45, and she was antsy to put on her new clothes- she was a teenage girl after all. She was stopped short by the sight of her boss in his uniform.

All red, white, and blue. And muscle. And the boots were very tight, as was the spandex… and goodness.

Damn.

Lila lost her words for a moment, then opened her mouth- and out came the word vomit.

"DAMN."

"Good morning?"

"I mean, hi! Yeah, good morning. You look great!"

"Thanks." The amusement was apparent in his voice, and Lila turned a very charming shade of red. "I'm going to just run and get dressed. I've got pancake batter in the fridge if you want to make some- I have to- okay, I'm just embarrassed now. Bye!"

She ran to her room and shut the door, internally combusting with a mixture of humiliation and lust. Lila wasn't one for internet colloquialisms, but the term OVARY EXPLOSION came to mind.

_Steve POV_

It was a pretty good way to start what was sure to be a shitty day- that was for sure. Lila's reaction to his suit was adorable- it was honest, which he appreciated, and it made him laugh.

Flipping a pancake, he grinned to himself again, and then stopped himself. Why was he in such a cheerful mood? Most mornings, he took his coffee with a newspaper and a scowl at the state of the world. These past few days had been different. Maybe Fury and Stark were right in assigning a teenage girl to his mental state, although at times he felt that if he'd been any other person, the situation would have been far more… inappropriate.

He was interrupted from his reverie by Lila's "shrew bitch voice" as she called it. "You're burning the pancake! Pay attention!"

She pushed him aside and took over, trying to save the smoldering flat breakfast item.  
"Go eat, Captain Rogers, I'll finish these."

Lila turned from the stove and faced Steve, handing him his plate of already cooked pancakes.

"You look lovely, Miss. Amin. Like something from a fashion plate." Lila was obviously pleased by the compliment, and did a little twirl. She really did look sweet though; most girls her age, based on what he'd seen on television and on the street wore very provocative and open clothing. Going to Forever 21 with Lila had confirmed his belief that this generation was absolutely insane.

She on the other hand had class, like Peggy (and he forced himself to forget that dream with the snow) or Pepper.

Lila had on a pale cream dress with pink flowers printed on it. She had on matching pink high heeled pumps and diamond earring studs which made her look like a million dollars.

Tying on an apron, the girl finished the remaining batter and then sat down to eat. She slid over 4 more pancakes to the Captain, who weakly protested. She insisted, and Steve knew better than to refuse.

**AT THE SCHOOL**

_Lila POV_

They all sat behind the curtain on the new school's stage in the auditorium. Lila was at end of a row filled with super heroes who were intensely out of their comfort zones.

There was nothing funnier than seeing Natasha Romanoff without her weapons. She was fidgety and irritable without her custom made guns and god-knows-what else strapped to her. Lila realized that something was bothering the master assassin when she began to look more uneasy. She quickly walked over and asked, "Can I do something to help you be more comfortable." Natasha pointed to a tiny lump near the back of her upper arm- nearly impossible to reach- and said "There is something in my suit which I cannot reach- it is itching me quite severely. I require assistance removing it, please." Without a word, Lila reached for her purse and pulled out a nail file. "I can scoot it out using this, if you don't mind." The woman nodded, and Lila took her cue to insert the nail file through Natasha's collar. Carefully, without stretching the mystery fabric of the Black Widow's suit, Lila managed to maneuver what turned out to be a tiny stone out of the sleeve.

"Thank you very much" Natasha sighed in relief.  
"Anytime, ma'am." Internally Lila screamed- "I JUST HELPED THE BLACK WIDOW. I AM AN AVENGER."

She was interrupted by the sight of Thor looking very, very disgruntled. Lila decided to be a two-time Avenger and help him as well.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Odinson?"

Thor was clearly quite upset and in need of attention when he sorrowfully replied, "Yes, little maiden. Things are very wrong. Agent Son of Coul bade me to leave Mjolnir in his motorized chariot, and I can hardly stand being away from it. It is a part of me- it is more than a hammer. It is-" "It is a symbol of you are, right?" Lila gently filled in for him. Thor nodded, and looked like a kicked puppy. Melting despite his status as a grown ass god from wherever, Lila reassured him. "Remember last time you didn't have Mjolnir? You met Jane, and that made you very happy, didn't it?"

He nodded again. "Well, maybe you can just be okay without Mjolnir, for now, and imagine that maybe you'll find something that makes you happy, just like Jane Porter makes you happy. Alright?"

"Yes, I find this most pleasing! Thank you Midgardian, you have been of much aid. Should you ever find yourself in need of help, call on Thor!"

Before lightning could strike in Thor's impassioned promise, Lila was called away by Tony Stark.

"Hey, sassy pants (of course he'd nickname her that), I need help, come here!"

Lila nearly tripped over her heels while being pulled by the billionaire towards his seat.

"Pepper forgot to write my speech for the Boy scouts!"

"WHAT?"

"I know, I know, I'm shocked too! Jarvis misinformed her regarding the date of this lunch, which is why she is currently in a meeting with Japanese stock market investors, instead of here. I'm lucky she knew about the ball or she'd probably be off doing whatever she does when I don't need her."

Lila smiled in spite of herself- she really was finding it easy to forgive Tony for his insults towards Steve.

"Listen, Mr. Stark, I'm willing to write you a speech. I'll need you to remember your promise to be kinder to Captain Rogers-" Tony cut her off, waving his hand impatiently and nodding.  
"I'll do whatever, just write it and have it for me by the time this event is over!"

_Steve POV_

The opening was as expected. Schools were not his forte- he was more a high school graduate, join the military type of man.

Steve had to think long and hard as to what he'd say to the expectant faces in the audience that day. It went something like this:  
"Good morning, students. I know many of us today have left schools for jobs and careers, but we never really stop learning throughout our lives. I'm honored to be involved in the opening of a fine education establishment like this one. Girls, remember to always cherish your time here. It is with knowledge that you can go out into this world and be capable and strong members of society. Good luck, and good learning!"

With that, the children dispersed for refreshments, and the Avengers Initiative retreated for the first time in their short lived year of fellowship.

_Lila POV_

The drive to lunch was tense. Lila was tapping away at the iPad before her, as a nervous Tony Stark tapped his arc reactor to the time of the mindless jazz in the background.

By the time they had reached the fancy hotel where the lunch was, Lila had finished writing. She for once had no trouble thinking up what to say- she was a 3 time Original Oratory National Champion- and a master debater in high school.

"Mr. Stark, you're good to go. Read this over, I think it'll work."

Tony did read over the short speech, and grinned at several points, visibly relaxing.  
"You're smart. If I ever scare Pepper away from being CEO of my company as well as my assistant, I'm stealing you from Capsic- I mean Captain Rogers."

Lila smiled approvingly.

_Steve POV:_

The lunch was stifling hot. It was outside on the roof of the building, and Steve Rogers was very hungry. The pancakes were a faint memory of the morning, and he could see even the ever composed Lila wiping perspiration from her forehead.

Finally, when Tony Stark was announced by the grown man in the khaki uniform, Steve began to see the end in sight.

He was unprepared for what Tony opened his speech with, however.

"Hello little boys and… boys. I've always found myself to be envious of the Boy Scouts. Not of the creepy allegations of inappropriacy, nor of the necessity to sell popcorn instead of delicious cookies, but of the brotherhood I see before me. I am a middle aged man who today is learning how to play well when on a team with others. Before I was Iron Man, I was just a billionaire who didn't know how to live his life. Then when I was Iron Man, and I still wasn't sure what I was doing. It wasn't until recently, when I joined the Avengers Initiative, that I figured out that teamwork is the way to go. I'm jealous to see all of you learning things as fundamental as tolerance and the ability to work with others, decades earlier than I did. To all the adults today who are planning on donating to this worthy cause, let me just be the first to say, I am proud to say that as of today, Stark Industries would like to request the privilege of being the sponsor of the Boy Scouts of America. This world needs more heroes, and Boy Scouts are no exclusion. I am also pleased to say that Stark Industries will be offering the Girl Scouts of America an equal sponsorship, because let's face it- I'm addicted to Samoa cookies. Thank you!"

A million flies could have found new homes in the mouths of countless donors and super heroes. Tony Stark had never been this humble- this charming- this NICE in a speech before.

It was mind boggling.  
Steve couldn't figure it out. He turned from his seat at the round table and saw the equally shocked Hawkeye and Dr. Banner.

He was confounded until his gaze fell on Lila, who was smirking although trying to hide it.

It wasn't until after lunch that he got a chance to speak with her, while driving back to Stark Tower.

"What the hell happened to you Stark? That was almost pleasant of you!"

The man smiled, and pointed to a beaming Lila as he sipped from his customary whiskey.

Smiling, Lila explained her "plot".

"I wrote his speech for him since Ms. Potts forgot to. I decided to… blur the lines between what Tony would have said in real life, and what would make Director Fury happiest… or in his case, less pissy. I can't decide if I've seen him smile before."

Steve shook his head. "You don't want to see him smile; it's borderline horrifying."

Lila giggled, and toed off her high heels. "Gah, these shoes are torturous. And god, I wish that lunch could have just ordered a pizza- what were they thinking, crab salad in in this heat?"

Stark and Lila began complaining to one another about the faults of the lesser mortals, and Steve felt warm and sleepy. He'd eaten a lot of cake at the luncheon, and was by then feeling the end of his sugar rush. The desire for a nap was fulfilled upon opening the door to his floor. Lila waved and walked off to her room, leaving the Captain to meander to his room, strip to his shorts, and dive into his bed for the remaining hours before the ball. He was glad that evildoers had taken a break this weekend; it was nice to not have blood on his suit for once.

**Okay, I promise the ball is coming!  
Kisses3**


	11. A Night to Remember

**Sorry sorry for the late update, I'm ridiculously busy right now Not that anyone cares to hear about that! On with the ball!  
**

_Steve POV_

Tuxedoes were uncomfortable. Steve had laughed when Tony had complained endlessly about the night's dress code earlier at lunch; now he understood all too well what the man had meant. The bowtie alone was itchy enough to make him want to stay home and watch _Letterman. _Sighing, Steve made himself a drink and took a seat, flipping through the day's paper. While he had gone to nap off his heavy lunch, Lila had returned to her bedroom to begin Phase 2 of her beautifying. When Steve had woken up around 5 PM, he took another shower and shaved again, making sure his face was completely smooth. After struggling into his torture suit, Steve had knocked on Lila's door to ask her if she knew how to tie a bow tie..

"Miss. Amin, the limousine arrives at 6:30; it's almost 6. I need your help for just a second." Moments passed before a breathless Lila opened the door.

"I am in middle of doing my hair and it is NOT GOING WELL so I need you to just ask Stark or Pepper or Jarvis because right now I am on the verge of a meltdown- I will be done at 6:20, do NOT worry."

She was utterly frazzled in tone, but her hair looked normal to him. Steve had shrugged and asked Jarvis for a tutorial on bow-tying.

Almost a half hour later, he knocked again on Lila's door.

"Is the war over? Can I come in?"

Smiling genially, the girl opened the door wide. "I'm just applying my mascara, come in."

Steve stepped into her bedroom, observing for the first time the pale yellow walls, covered with paintings. He turned around to the adjoining bathroom where Lila was, out of sight, and asked, "Can we go downstairs? We might be late if we don't leave soon."

She exited the bathroom, and did a twirl.

"How do I look, Captain?"

"Wow, uh- Lila, you look lovely. You look beautiful! I'll be the talk of the town-" "Captain Rogers, thank you, but I genuinely was just asking for your opinion. My ego requires no stroking at this time." She grinned and examined her ball gown once more, and said, "I did want to know what you thought of the color."

Funnily, Jarvis replied, "Miss. Amin, the shade of your dress compliments your skin tone which originates from your South Asian heritage, specificially in the Indus River Valley."

"Thanks J. I was asking the Captain though."

The dress was a dark shade of lilac, strapless, with a sweetheart neckline and slightly flaring long skirt. There was lace embroidered throughout the bodice, and the skirt was layered with thin lacy ruffles.

Steve took a moment to consider his reply, the way he considered all his major decisions and statements.

"I think you're going to knock the socks off of Natasha and Pepper. They're too pale for a color like that, so it's unique!"

Lila laughed; "I was hoping that so much! You are literally the best, Captain; if you weren't so straight my gaydar would definitely question your excellent fashion judgement."

"What?"  
She shook her head, and turned back to the mirror, applying one final coat of hairspray to her up-do. Steve smiled to himself as she fidgeted with the fine as they were curls of her loose bun. Somehow Lila had arranged her bangs in loosely curled tendrils near her eyes, framing them sort of. It was nice watching a woman get ready for a night out; it was so normal, it almost hurt. He could imagine Peggy looking stunning in a red dress, with her shapely legs shown off, and that lipstick- how someone so proper could wear a color so sinfully had been beyond him. Shaking off the nostalgia, Steve returned to the present. "Ready to leave?"

"I'm all set here. Let me just do the straps to my heels, alright?"

Setting down her clutch, Lila sat carefully on her bed and crossed her legs at the knee, deftly fastening the silver sandals with- "Are you going to wear those tonight, Lila?"

"Those what?" She sounded distracted in her question. "Those shoes?"

"Of course, they match perfectly with my mom's earrings and necklace!"

"The heels are at least 5 inches tall."  
"So?"

"You'll fall. You'll break your neck."

"No I won't. I practiced."

Puzzled, Steve fully faced her and put his hands on his hips unconsciously. "How on Earth did you find time to practice wearing those heels?"

"I walked around the block in them twice while you were napping."  
"What? Really?"

She nodded patiently, and frowned as she fastened the second strap.

"I'm ready. Let's get outta here Captain! I want to be in the limo before Stark and Pepper."  
Nodding, Steve led her to the floor's elevator. He was still imagining Lila walking around Times Square in sky-high heels, with a pair of jeans. _Women, _he thought, _were absolutely mysteries._

_Lila POV:_

She was buzzing. Lila for once felt good about her outfit- really, really good. She knew the color was gorgeous the second she'd set eyes on it; she'd literally stood stock still and stared for 2 minutes before finding her size. Her hair had finally cooperated after she re-curled the ends of bangs, and thank God Mom had made her take makeup classes before she started using it in high school. She'd gone with the less is more approach, making her eyes look huge with mascara and high lighting. Her favorite part of her outfit, however, was the jewelry; in her will, her mother had left her all her jewelry.

Lila had chosen her mother's diamond set; teardrop earrings with a matching pendant on a silver chain. She felt like a princess, and Steve looked amazingly like Prince Charming.

The elevator ride was by then over, and Lila realized she needed to compliment her boss on his… everything.

"Captain Rogers, I have to tell you that you look very handsome tonight."  
He blushed adorably, and Lila for the thousandth time wished she was 25 and looked like a modern day Peggy. _Oh well… If wishes were horses… _Lila was cut off by the honking of the limousine. Sadly, Stark and CO. had beat them to the front of the building.  
"PHWIT-PHWOO!" (**That was a wolfwhistle btw) **Tony Stark leaned out the window and whooped. "Lila! Your speech was genius! I'm being hailed as a hero for the youth! A good role model! With your help, I've fooled them all! Come on in and join the celebration partayyy!" A smiling Pepper leaned out as best as she could with the billionaire in her way, and waved them inside of the vehicle. Once seated, she and Lila quietly dissected the other's dress.

Pepper was perfect, the way Lila had predicted earlier. She wore a midnight blue strapless number, silken and straight, just like her hair. Giant sapphire studs glittered on her ears, and Lila was once again struck by the luxurious lifestly e of the people around her.

Breaking the silence, she asked, "Pepper, how on earth do you keep your hair so gorgeously straight? Mine reverts to its curlier form within an hour of flat-ironing it!"

Tony immediately ignored the girl talk and began discussing the possibility of a blinged out, special occasion eye patch for Nick Fury.

The ride was short as they approached the red carpet before the towering hotel where the ball was being held.

Lila was stopped short by the sight of celebrities being led out of their cars by managers, straightening themselves before entering the zone of flashing photographs and paparazzi.

"Steve, are you ready for this?"  
"Ready for what?"

"You are going to be photographed a LOT in a few minutes. You will be ogled, women will ask you to have your babies. Questions will be flung at you like mud. Don't answer anything in a way which can be misconstrued, or twisted. Better yet, no answers. The questions will be irrelevant to the Avengers, I promise."

"I suppose so, but aren't you exaggerating this just a little, Lila?"

Tony was about to interrupt when Pepper cut in. "She is correct, Steve. Those people are sharks, and if you talk to them-" she took a moment to glare at Tony- "they will draw blood. Just ignore them and smile. Put your arm through Lila's, it'll distract them."

Lila smiled internally- if the Paps thought she and Captain America were dating, she would secretly DIE of happiness. It was the ultimate dream of hers to find someone broad and strong and kind to stand by her side. Steve was going to make her standards pretty high by the time she looked for a man in her life.

They entered the flashing lights together, after Tony and Pepper. The older couple looked poised and relaxed, Pepper loosely posing next to a cocky Tony. Lila placed her arm in Steve's, and squeezed his.  
"Don't worry. You're gonna do great." He smiled nervously, and the two walked the red carpet together.

"OVER HERE CAPTAIN. CAPTAIN LOOK HERE." "WHO'S THE GIRL? IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND? OR A FRIEND?" "HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE A SUPERHERO TODAY? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CEREAL FOR BREAKFAST?"

The paparazzi held up their reputation entirely, but Lila managed to comfort her boss through smiles and gently leading him through the carpet.

If Lila had seen the photographs, she would have been stunned. While she did look tiny next to the giant super-human next to her, she was confident enough to look beautiful despite her average looks. That combined with a tasteful, age appropriate dress, would make her magazine gossip for weeks to come.

Just as quickly as it began, the red carpet ended and the two entered the hotel, feeling like they had just braved some kind of heat wave.

"That was ridiculously warm. I'm almost sweating!" Steve laughed, and agreed; "I think I need a drink. Let's go find Stark, he'll have something in his tux coat."

Lila walked arm in arm with Captain Rogers towards the reception room, where all the stars were sharing cocktails before the ball began. They headed towards Tony, Pepper, and Thor, with whom stood an unknown girl.

Thor immediately hugged Lila with gratitude, booming despite his slicked back hair and tuxedo. "I am gladdened with your presence, little maiden, despite my sad tidings later this afternoon! Your advice regarding Mjolnir did not herald things which were good like my Jane! She came down with cold, as you Midgardians say, and could not attend this evening's festivities!"

Lila laughed, forgetting her potentially rumpled dress. "Oh dear, I shouldn't laugh! How is Ms. Porter, is she alright?"

The mysterious girl replied drily. "I think she'll be fine. She's snorting Sudafed like there's no tomorrow, but with enough Poptarts and coffee; Jane could survive a zombie apocalypse."

Lila laughed even harder- it was nice being around someone with a normal sense of humor. "God, you're a breath of fresh air." "Super heroes getting a bit much?" "My poor ego can only handle so much self-doubt before I need a therapist."

The women giggled. "I'm Lila Amin, by the way. Personal assistant to Captain America, who should not be drinking Peach Schnapps with Iron Man at this point in time!" She slightly raised her voice at the end of her sentence so Steve could guiltily snap away from Tony, and shuffle towards her like a scolded puppy.

"Sorry Lila. It smelled really good and I wanted to try it."

"It's fine, just go get a real cocktail from the bar!"

Steve was a gentleman though, and had to ask if anyone else wanted a drink. Everyone declined but the mystery girl, who then introduced herself as Darcy Lewis, or as she put it, "Jane Porter's walking talking planner and research book. I can spout of endless amounts of information about astrophysics without understanding a single word."

While waiting for the drinks, Steve observed the women at the now larger crowd of SHIELD employees. The men all wore their tuxedoes with relative ease- Steve worried for the Hulk as Bruce adjusted his bow tie again. Natasha had not failed to stun in an off the shoulder white dress with a slit up to there, revealing legs which could not possibly hide any pistols or guns for once. Pepper looked like a tall glass of water, and Lila looked like something out of an exotic fairytale. Darcy Lewis was different though. The other women were content to discuss the steps they took to get ready for the night. She on the other hand looked almost bored. Surprisingly, she was beautiful. Her white skin was impossibly soft looking, even from across the room. She had big blue eyes and red lips that reminded him of the movie Snow White. When Darcy turned and made eye contact, Steve rapidly faced the bartended and changed his order so he could hide.

_Lila POV_

Returning with the drinks, Steve began to converse with Clint about his latest improvements on his motorbike.

He didn't realize that Lila was staring from nearby, smiling broadly. She had seen Steve motherfucking GAZING at Darcy Lewis like she was the only water bottle in the entire Sahara Desert… and Darcy had seemed pretty intrigued after she'd caught him staring.

Lila was getting overexcited at the possibilities, and shook her head, telling herself to calm down.

_Just wait till this is over and find a reason for Darcy to come over. I want to see them interact. _

With that reassuring thought, Lila pulled Steve towards a butler (How amazing was that?) who was announcing the beginning of the ball.

**I smell romance! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH I love writing Darcy! And Lila will bond with Steve via boxing SOON I HAVE A PLOT GUYS I HAVE A PLOT!**

**XOXO**


	12. Moves Like Captain

**I'm trying to take this story somewhere, I promise haha.**

_Lila POV:_

The ball was going amazingly.

The dinner had been delicious. No one had gotten tipsy yet, nor had Thor done anything too embarrassingly loud. The silent auction for charity had raised a fantastically huge $1.3 million, and hearing Donald Trump speak was hilarious (in an ironic way.)

Lila's cup was running over, until the host announced that the ballroom was to the left, and that dancing was about to begin.

She stiffened- how could she forget? Dancing was something she'd never, ever had to do before. She was sure she could wing it, almost positive she could fake through it, but goddamn it if she wasn't nervous.

Steve seemed to notice her discomfort and asked quietly, "Is something the matter?"

"Oh, I just realized I don't know ballroom dancing. Not a big problem at a ball with an actual ballroom."

He took a moment to rub his face, and then guffawed a bit.

"There's a first time for everything, I suppose. I on the other hand _do _know how to ballroom dance! Look at that; I know something Miss. Know It All doesn't!"

Steve looked too excited to realize that Lila was slightly hurt by his nickname for her, but she shook it off.

It wasn't the first time she'd been called too smart or a know it all.

More likely than not, it wouldn't be the last time

_In Ze Ballroom_

"Basically, I lead, and you follow my steps. 1-2-3, 1-2-3, turn. Just follow my lead. Worst case scenario is that we look kind of silly in front of these fancy people."

Lila was feeling better, and gathered her bearings before finding a place with her boss on the ballroom floor.

Nearby, Tony and Pepper had assumed what seemed to be a familiar pose; obviously they'd danced together before. Clint and Natasha were both master dancers according to their SHIELD profiles- they'd had to use those skills for deadly master assassin plots before. As the Mission Impossible theme began to play in Lila's head, the actual music began to play. It was slow and romantic, and Lila nearly gasped when Steve held her waist and hand, beginning to step with her.

Quietly he repeated, "1-2-3, 1-2-3, turn!"

She quickly picked it up, becoming comfortable enough to look up at her partner instead of her feet.

"Thank you for teaching me to dance, Captain Rogers."

"Anytime. Although I must admit now, those insane high heels are doing me a big favor. If you were your normal height I'd have to stoop to hold your waist."

Lila pretended to look offended and continued to dance, enjoying it despite herself. There were very few women (and men) who could actually resist melting into the warm, strong arms of Captain America. Dancing with him was natural; had it been anyone else it might have been awkward.

After the first two dances, Lila insisted that they take a break because as she put it, "her feet were about to fall off."

Sitting next to Pepper and sipping punch, Lila watched Captain Rogers talk with Tony and some of his investors about baseball.

Pepper interrupted her zone out. "You've done him good these past two days. He's come out of shell."

"I made him listen to sports again. He isn't used to the TV, so I found an online radio stations which feature some of his favorite teams. And I haven't done anything per se. I'm just talking to him and annoying him."

She grinned at Lila and shook her head. "No, hon, you are. Talking to someone is half the problem. He used to not talk at all. He'd just sit alone and look at pictures, or just box until he ran out of bags."

"He boxes? What? I couldn't have found this out sooner?"

Pepper laughed at Lila, and simply said, "Let it be natural. One morning you'll both accidentally meet up at the gym, and it'll be another natural connection for the Captain. Let it happen on its own."

The wise words confused Lila, as Pepper stood to dance with a much more relaxed Dr. Banner. Lila remained puzzled, until Darcy sat next to her with Thor in tow.

The woman was obviously frustrated. "UGH Thor, you klutz! I am serious, look at my foot! These toes are bruised! It looks like I have some kind of frostbite or some shit. I know you're not of this Earth or whatever so you're monster huge, but watch where your feet land, alright?"  
Thor looked like a kicked golden retriever, and replied as such. "I am quite sorrowful to be the cause of your discomfort Lady Darcy. I shall refrain from dancing until I have a better grasp of it."

Lila observed this exchanged with a poker face, dying of laughter internally, but pitying the older girl her dancing partner.  
"Darcy, why don't you ask Captain Rogers to dance? He's like Fred Astaire; it's shocking! I'll hang with Thor until you're back."

Darcy looked at Lila for a long moment, then quickly hugged her, whispering dramatically- "Thank you, thank you, sweet girl. Be safe."

With a flourish she released Lila and imperiously bowed in farewell to Thor, who had restored his pleasant spirits.  
"The Lady Darcy is quite recovered from my horrid dancing, do you not think?"

"I do most certainly think that. Listen, Thor, how do you feel about cell phones?"

Thor was positively beaming as he struggled to remove something from his pants pocket. It seemed that being as muscular as he was could be a problem for tuxedo-wearing.

Finally, he pulled out what seemed to be an iPhone, except it was encased in a thick, seemingly bulletproof case.

"Thor… is that a cell phone?"

"Yes! An agent was kind enough to gift me with this marvelous talking device! I merely slide, and then touch the tiny face of Jane or Darcy, and I am speaking with them!"

Lila took his phone and looked at the screen; indeed, someone had come up with actual apps so that Thor would not have to struggle with a contacts list.

"What's with the heavy duty phone cover?"

"I shattered 2 previous phones in my godly grip; this case is meant to last against my strength, the SHIELD scientists made sure of it."

_Steve POV:_

Tony's "friends" were actually people Tony wanted to invest in his stocks. It was boring, and dull, and honestly Steve wished he could be dancing.

His wish came true in the form of a Darcy Lewis.

"Hey, Captain Astaire. I heard you're smooth on your feet. Wanna boogie?"

Steve blinked as he took in the sight of a beautiful woman asking him to dance.

"Excuse me? I mean, yes, I'd like to dance." He privately resolved to ask Lila what to boogie meant, and held out his hand.

Unfortunately, the band began to play a faster, more modern song, and Steve's expertise flew out the window.

"Uh, Ms…" "Lewis", she supplied. "Ms. Lewis, I can't dance to this kind of music. I'm not very experienced, you see."

She grinned slowly, and it made something in Steve Rogers' stomach curl and uncurl.

"I bet you're pretty inexperienced, but that's not necessarily a bad thing."

Steve's eyebrows shot up into his hairline, causing Darcy to burst out into laughter.

"Oh… my… god! Your face! If you weren't so genuine I'd be so… oh my… phew. Okay. Let's go dance captain, I'll lead!"

Steve realized the giant innuendo she had just referred to, and remembered his short lived flirtation with Peggy. Yeah, he'd missed a lot during his time asleep, but nothing had changed about flirting with a girl.

He didn't realize at the time what kind of a girl he was dealing with, however, when Darcy began to shake her hips to the beat of the music.

The band conductor took a moment to announce the evening's guest performer. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… LET'S GIVE A BIG HAND FOR THE AMAZING…. MAROON 5!" Steve could hear Lila's shriek of excitement as a skinny man in a tux took the stage and shouted, "WHO'S READY TO SHOW ME THEIR MOVES?"

Lila had by then dragged Thor to the floor with her, ready to risk it all to dance to one of her major crushes best songs.

The whistling began, and Adam Levine began to sing

"_Just shoot for the stars…"_

Darcy recaptured his attention by grabbing his hands and doing a sensual twist, releasing his grasp to raise her arms above her head and shake her hair back and forth. Steve stepped awkwardly from foot to foot, more watching his partner than actually dancing. He glanced at Lila who was holding Thor by the arm and "getting down". Thor was actually enjoying himself, waving his arms about enthusiastically.

"Hey Cap! Watch my lead!" Darcy grabbed him by the hips, causing Steve to sharply inhale in shock.  
"Relax Pollyanna, your chastity is safe. Grab my hips too; I give you permission!"

Steve awkwardly held the woman's moving hips- it was sensual, and foreign to him. "Now follow me!" Darcy merely swayed rhythmically to the music, but to Steve it felt very… intimate.

_Lila POV:_

She was about to die. ADAM LEVINE STOOD NOT ONE HUNDRED FEET FROM HER and she had yet to soil herself in shock and happiness.

Thor had also yet to humiliate her with his dancing. By the time Adam was singing Christina Aguilera's solo, Lila turned to look at Steve dance, only to observe Darcy and him with each other's hands on their hips. She looked like she was having a fantastic time, but the Captain looked extremely uncomfortable and stiff. Darcy moved closer to the Captain, until their pelvises were almost touching- Lila could practically hear Steve gasping in shock. She decided to rescue her poor boss from potential cardiac arrest, and excused herself from Thor who continued to dance raver style.

Tapping on Darcy's shoulder, Lila asked "May I have this dance with the Captain, Darcy?"

Darcy looked put out, but let Lila step in. Lila made sure she was appropriately distanced from the Captain's glorious pelvis and took his hands. "I couldn't handle Thor's dancing" was the excuse she gave for her abrupt interruption.  
"I know you were just getting her away from me. It's nice of you to look out for me, but I'm a big boy now."  
Lila cocked her head, confused for the second time that night. She continued swaying in his arms, but asked, "Do you realize how upset and uncomfortable your face looked as you danced with her? Were you okay with her dancing all "up on you" like that, really?"

Steve shook his head. "No, I wasn't that okay with it. I didn't dislike it (awkward pause) but I wanted her to stop. We're in public, y'know?"

"That's what dancing is today, most of time. It's a lot more sexual at times, and I want you to experience this culture at whatever pace you want. This was obviously too fast for you; hell, Darcy's much sexier when she's out of her glasses and sweatshirt combo."  
"You've met her before?"

"Yes, at a SHIELD briefing. I knew she was pretty before, but now with makeup and that lovely black dress, I can see that she's a stunner. Oops, girl talk. Sorry."

"It's alright. Thanks for watching out for me. I know you know what you're talking about. It's just, I should be able to dance with a girl, shouldn't I?"  
"Why don't we finish this dance and head home soon? It's nearing 1 AM and I am about to fall asleep on my feet."

_Steve POV_

The night had gone perfectly until that dance with Darcy. She'd aroused him- something he'd managed to bury beneath a strict regimen of combat training and boxing, and she'd made him extremely self-conscious. Thank god Lila had cut in or he may have lost all control before the end of the song. Something about a woman pressing herself against a man seemed odd if it wasn't in the privacy of one's bedroom. Thank god Tony and Pepper wanted to stay longer; he couldn't have borne a ride home with them both.

"Steve, are you listening?"

"No, sorry what? I was just daydreaming. What did you say?"

"I asked, did you have a nice time?" "I did actually."  
"Except for the end bit."

"Actually, that wasn't too bad. I can learn to dance like that, can't I?"

"I wasn't aware that you wanted to learn to twerk, but whatever. We can try, I could use a couple of dance lessons too. Also, thank you again for showing me how to ballroom dance! You saved my reputation as a know it all!"

She seemed genuinely happy, and Steve was glad. She probably hadn't danced much- she'd been busy getting a law degree and losing her family.

Steve couldn't get over his earlier discomfort and anxiety over his reaction to his dance with Darcy. He wasn't even aware that he was speaking aloud when he said, "Is it because I'm a virgin?"

"I beg pardon?"

_Shit. _"I uh- was just- nothing."

"Oh. Captain Rogers… oh gosh. Okay. Listen, first of all. Remember that I am the strictest confidante- I don't tell anybody anything you ever tell me, unless you say so. That may have been a Freudian slip but yes, I'm pretty sure that you may be extra uncomfortable with yourself because of that."

Steve was embarrassed to the point of almost bursting into flame. "I don't want to talk about this… this topic with you. It's not easy for a grown man to discuss… that… with a teenage girl."

"You realize that this… topic, is very important to teenage girls? From the 1940s and 2012 alike, by the way."  
"What do you mean? I'm pretty sure there's no comparison between us."

"Oh, I'm not comparing our situations, but I can relate just as well."

Steve was seriously losing it. He knew he wasn't very manly for feeling insecure because he'd never had sex, but to discuss it with his strange assistant was too much.

"Listen, I know you're trying to help me but this is strange even for me! I can't just talk about this shit with anyone!"  
"I'm not just anyone! I've been studying this, your life for months before meeting you, Captain Rogers. I changed my entire lifestyle in the hopes that it would help you feel comfortable with this society- and I'm sorry I'm not fully successful in this, but I'm trying!"

"I know you are!" He ran his hand through his hair violently, looking out the window, sighing as he put his head in his hands. Lila thought about it, but then put her hand on his back.

She spoke up quietly, measuring her words.

"You know what I want for you, Captain? I want you to be happy. I want you to have someone who loves you for who you are; Steve Rogers and Captain America. I want you to move out of Stark Tower, to have a house with flowers you planted for the person you care about. Someday I want you to have little kids, and barbecue garden parties with Tony accidentally blasting your tomato garden because he let the kids play with his Iron Man suit. I want that and the world for you, because I know what it feels like to lose it all. You deserve all you've ever wanted because you risk your life to preserve others' lives. Just let me help you get past this."

Steve lifted his head out of his hands and rubbed his face as though waking himself up.

"You're kind. That's strange, compared to everyone else in this world, but you are. Do you know what I want right now, at this exact time?"

She shook her head, no.

"I want to be able to look at a photo of Peggy and not feel regret. I want to not dream that snow dream anymore because it's been 3 nights, and I can't figure it out."

"Wait, you're having that dream again?"  
"Yes."

"Oh… Oh Captain Rogers… Why didn't you tell me?"

"What, you know what my dreams meant?"

She looked grim as she took her hand off his shoulder.

"Steve, did you ever consider that maybe Peggy wasn't… the one for you?"

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" (Lila looked stricken as she heard him curse for the first time in her presence)

He was furious immediately- how dare she question the one emotion he had up till then felt entirely sure of?  
"Listen, I don't want to upset you, I'm just suggesting that maybe, just maybe, you're holding on to Peggy as a reminder of everything you lost, not just that relationship."

Steve grabbed her by the arm and spoke slowly. "I have never been surer of anything- I love Peggy Carter and I lost her. It's her I dream about, not my old life! I miss her more than anything or anyone- don't question that again."

Llia shook her arm free and faced the window, unwilling to show the Captain just how scared and teary she was at that moment. She had messed up BIG TIME, assistant wise and other wise as well.

As the limo pulled up to the front of the Tower, Lila clambered out of the seat, grabbing her heels and clutch. Steve came out afterwards, following her.

He refused to let himself feel guilty for yelling- he was _**right.**_ Peggy Carter would've been his future had he not crashed that plane.

Lila lay in bed, sobbing. She'd wiped off most of the makeup, and hung up her dress, but her hair was still fastened by pins in a bun of curls. She knew she was right- she'd fully researched the meaning of his dream in psychological analyses of the subconscious- it just wasn't her place to tell Steve that the woman he thought he loved was actually just his heart's way of coping with all of his loss, not just the loss of a potential girlfriend. She remained curled up, releasing her stress in tears for an hour.

Finally losing steam, Lila wiped her eyes and lifted herself off her bed. She went to the bathroom to get a drink, but stopped as she heard a yell from Rogers' room.

She placed her glass near the edge of the sink counter without noticing and ran to his room.

There, she found him sitting up in bed in a tangle of sheets. His face was contorted in tears and confusion, and Lila flicked on a lamp before gently approaching him.

"Captain Rogers… Steve. What's wrong?"

"Peggy- you- just… God damnit!" Steve removed the sheets and swung his legs over the side of his bed, straightening out. He covered his face with his hands for the second time that night.

Lila sat next to him in a chair, and put her hand on his knee.

"Did you dream it again?"

He nodded. She got up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, offering it to him. After gulping the water, Steve took her by the arm, gently this time. "Thank you. Thank you… for everything. You were right."  
"What? Right about what?"

"Peggy. Everything. She literally told me in my dream that I didn't love her, didn't want her, didn't need her. I rejected my own hopes and dreams, subconsciously."

Lila's heart broke for the man. "Oh, god. I'm sorry, Captain. I'd hoped I was wrong, but it makes sense now, right?"  
"It actually does in a way. The pain I felt is different than what I felt when I lost Bucky all those years ago. Now I just feel empty."  
"Empty's a place to start. It may feel bad now, but you can always find new, wonderful things to fill yourself with."

"I suppose so."  
"You can start with the Avengers. They may seem strange, but they'd kill for you- on or off the battlefield. They love you as a friend and a leader. And Tony, especially. He really does care about you, as does Pepper. Agent Coulson loved you, even that crazy bitch Maria Hill would do anything for you."

"That's a start, I guess."

"And you have me. I am your assistant and your number one fan. I think you can do anything, and I will do whatever it takes to help you on the way. I consider it an honor to be your assistant, and your friend hopefully."

Steve looked touched. He gave her hand a quick squeeze, then took a deep breath.

"We are friends. You need someone to get the high ups for you, right?" Lila gave him a slight shove, and laughed.  
"Okay, mushy gushiness is over. I need to take these pins out, my head is aching from their poking."  
"It'd help if you used less hairspray!"

"Ugh what do you know about fashion Mr. Red White and Blue jumpsuit?"  
"Good night Lila."

"Good night indeed, Captain."

**SQUEE I DID SOMETHING PLOT RELATED AND FLUFFY AND YAY.**

**Thanks for reading, please review?**


	13. The Tears Come Streaming Down Your Face

**Okay, it's been a couple days and I am busy as hell so give me some credit for spewing out this chapter but I LOVE YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING**

A week passed. Lila was doing her best to help her boss overcome his nightmares, and bring him to terms with his loss.  
It wasn't working well.

He'd wake up before she did (She tried to get up earlier but he'd always manage to make it out the door as she woke up) and go to the gym, and then he'd leave for SHIELD for briefings and meetings and occasionally a mission.

Around 7 he'd return, quiet to the point of unresponsiveness.

Lila wasn't coping well with failure; it wasn't something she was familiar with.

She was baking more than usual, churning out tray after tray of brownies, sending them up to Tony when Steve refused to eat any more. Dinners were more elaborate, as Lila attempted all the old fashioned recipes Jarvis could find.

It failed to garner the familiar sparkling grin and "gee whiz- meatloaf!" effect she'd grown so used to.

Things were not working out, to say the least.

Her workout regimen was longer, harder than ever. Every day around 9, she'd head down to the gym and she would exercise. At first, Lila would simply practice her reps, but halfway through her routine she'd feel something in side of her stir, and she would be furious. She'd punch the bag harder, only barely keeping control. Pepper didn't talk to her after workouts anymore, and Lila felt even lonelier than ever.

It came to a crux when June 4th rolled around.

_Steve POV:_

The morning was oddly quiet. He'd risen at 5 AM and showered, ready for the breakfast cereal Lila always laid out the night before.

As he walked into the kitchen though, something felt wrong. The dishes weren't washed- it had been her turn last night. There was leftover salad from the previous night's dinner on the counter, brown and wilted by then.

Steve didn't know what to do- Lila had lived there for two weeks, but she'd never shown this much messiness. It could only mean that something was terribly wrong.

He went to knock on her door, only to find it open with the bed unmade and the curtains open wide. The window was open and He couldn't help but think that she might have run away into the night. He then noticed the Stark Industry bars on the window- no one was going to jump out a window on Tony's watch- except maybe Tony himself.

Steve remembered that Lila had mentioned some kind of appointment today, and decided that she must have gone to that- although why at 5 in the morning he did not question.  
Checking his watch, Steve realized that he was late for his workout, and opted to grab a banana and skip out on a full breakfast.

Grabbing his gym bag, he bade Jarvis goodbye and locked his door.

_Lila POV:_

_Life's too short to even care at all-_

THUMP. THUMP.

_I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control._

She was blinded. The tears blurred her vision to an opaque blur, and she couldn't hear anything besides the mellow guitar riffs and steady beat.

_These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart, oh oh oh oh_

_A dark world aches for a splash in the sun_

She smacks the bag extra hard and feels it on her knuckles- good.

_If I could find a way to see this straight, I'd run away_

_To some fortune that I-I should have found by now_

The sun was shining beautifully through the gym's window, making the room seem even more spacious.

It didn't help curb the stifling sense of suffocating as she continued dancing around the bag, jabbing and thumping until she could tell that her hands were bleeding.

Lila was fighting a losing battle with herself.

She was focusing on something deep inside of her, something she usually let lie dormant like a sea monster.

It wasn't working today- she couldn't make her heart stop aching, her mind stop running away from her with memories and voices.

Her earphones were jammed deep within her ears so they wouldn't fall out- she also didn't hear the door swing open.

"Lila?"

She didn't reply, still engrossed in making the bag swing wildly from her melee of punches.

"Lila, stop it- you'll hurt your hands!"

She still didn't reply, and Steve stepped into the ring and behind her and grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her around.  
Defensively, Lila held her gloves up to her face as if to protect herself.

"Oh- oh. It's you. I was just listening to music, I couldn't hear, so I'm sorry. " She sounded strange and flat, as if she was repeating something she'd actually meant a lifetime ago.

Steve tried to explain his worry.

"Lila, you never told me you boxed. Hell, I wouldn't call that boxing- you're gonna throw out your wrists using that technique."

"Of course I box. When Pepper found out she told me not to tell you, to let you find out on your own, what with you being so damn good at it, and all. We could bond over it, I had originally thought."

Steve looked justifiably wounded at her mocking tone. "Why are you being so unreasonable? I'm just concerned for your wellbeing- you can't box like this and not expect arthritis at age 30."

Lila's eyes were hazier than ever, as she stepped out

"Arthritis? A constant ache which haunts you in the morning and makes you cry at night? I could use more of that in my life. I don't have anything like that in **my **life." She sounded caustic and furious, but her face was oh-so blank- it was scaring Steve.

"Lila, what's wrong? Is it something Fury said? Or Hill, or Stark?"  
She chuckled brokenly, shucking off her pink gloves and unwound the tape from her hands. Steve immediately grasped her hands, gently touching the bloody knuckles.  
"Did you want this to happen?" He looked confused, and something in Lila felt even more furious.

"Who wants something like that happen? Something like this, like sleeping for fucking 70 years, like being a supersoldier without an army, like losing your entire world? I didn't! I don't! Every damn morning I wake up and I think they're alive and I imagine that I'm in Texas ready for another day waking up my siblings and eating waffles with my family but then I remember that they all DIED alongside ALL OF MY FRIENDS during my graduation during MY VALEDICTORIAN'S SPEECH. WHO WOULD WANT THAT?"

By then she'd gripped Steve's hands within her own, and was shouting in his face. Tears streamed down her cheeks but her eyes were wide open, and her face was contorted in a grimace.

Steve closed his eyes and felt his heart crack just a little bit more for the sobbing girl before him.

"Today's the 4th isn't it?" he asked quietly, without expecting an answer.

Lila wrenched her hands away from his, turning towards her pink Nike bag and pulling out a bottle of water. She gulped it down gratefully and wiped her eyes with her spare hand, wincing as she grazed her knuckles.  
She cursed and attempted to pour water on the cuts, but was stopped by Steve.  
"I have something better for this in the suite, let's go back up and I'll help you."

Lila sighed deeply and turned to pick up her bag; Steve of course took it from her. She tried to walk, but was suddenly weakened from the end of the adrenaline rush and the anger. She took her boss' arm and leaned heavily on him for support. Lila felt herself rise off the ground as Captain Steve Rogers swept her into his arms, bridal style. She was too drained to swoon or blush; she simply lay her head against his chest, and quietly hid her face.

_Steve POV _

Her hair smelled like strawberries. Something about that banal fact reminded Steve even more that Lila was just a girl- 18, sweet, and too smart for her own good.

What he'd seen in that boxing ring was wild, uncontained fury- something she must have kept bottled up every day- no, 364 days of the year.

What a day this must be for her.

She'd also cursed in front of him without apologizing- a first for the proper girl. It showed him how much acting she did around him, for the sake of his comfort. Steve could hardly bear to be in a different time and change his old ways- how must she feel, losing herself in the façade of a well-functioning, brilliant attorney/assistant?

This was whatever that feeling looked like.

It reminded him of his attempts to get drunk after Bucky died-

She'd probably felt the same enraging helplessness overtake her.

Steve pressed the elevator button, only to find he was facing a very irate Tony.  
"What's going on in here, is the kid okay?" For the first time in a while, Stark sounded truly concerned.  
Lila lifted her head and looked at the older man. "I'm not okay. Did Jarvis mention my little breakdown?"  
"Yeah, apparently you think it's cool to break your hands when you're upset."

Steve could practically feel the lightning snap from Lila's eyes as she narrowed them.

"Upset?"

"Yeah, is it the time of the month? Are you feeling okay, I can call a doctor?"

His misplaced concern didn't go over well with Lila.

She snapped again.

"Well, it is that _time of the year_ when I am reminded that I am completely alone in the world because my entire family and class of 1300 was murdered in front of my eye via bomb plus let us not forget the loss of my extended family who'd flown in for my graduation ceremony and oh yes the crippling survivor's guilt that I was on stage and thus escaped the same fate as my two younger brothers and my mother and all of life around me crumbled after that so yeah I'm not okay!"

It was stunning how one run-on sentence could silence Tony Stark. Without speaking, he ran his hand through her hair and kissed her cheek.

"Kid- oh gosh. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'll let you be, I know I'm not what you want. I'll go."

Tony mercifully left, leaving a remorseful Lila to push herself out of Steve's warm arms.

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit."  
"…."

"Right? Bullshit. You're hurting, and I'm here to help."

"Don't you have work Captain?"  
"Not today I don't. And it's Steve- we're equals, always have been, remember?"  
His leadership skills had come in handy then, as she acquiesced and let him lead her into the suite.

Almost tenderly he led her to the sink where he rinsed off the blood from her hands with warm soapy water. He grabbed the iodine, something his own grandma had used on his infinite childhood scrapes.

Sitting on the sofa and dabbing carefully, he said, "Tell me about it."

"What?"

"Tell me what you feel, how you feel."

"You'll hate hearing it."  
"Go ahead, try me."

She took a breath and leaned back into the sofa pillows, snuffling a bit.

"Do you ever pick at scabs, to see if they still hurt?"

"When I was younger, yeah."

"Well, on this special day for the past two years, I have taken a nostalgic road trip within myself to see just _how badly _it hurt to have lost them- all of them. It doesn't get better, or fade like I've been told it would."

"I understand completely."

She smiled, and closed her eyes.

"Steve. I'm glad I work for you. You're a good listener, and kind."  
"It's what you'd do for me."

"I hope so. I'm going to nap now, but I need you to stay here so I can feel less shitty, okay?"

Steve smiled- "Let me do you one better." He easily lifted her again (She was actually much lighter than she seemed, chubby and all), and took her to her bedroom, laying her onto her bed.  
"Sleep now. I'll stay in this chair."

Even though Lila wanted him to lie next to her, to warm her up a bit because she was _so cold_, she knew he wouldn't appreciate that broken boundary.

She instead smiled and tucked herself in, immediately falling asleep.

Steve watched her and felt something inside of him open up.

_Maybe this is my new purpose- it used to be to love someone like I loved Peggy, but now I know that I didn't really love her like I thought I did. No, maybe my purpose is to move on and make new connections- so people like him, like Lila, would never feel this lost again. _

He resolved to continue working with the Avengers, but to try to shift his more outdated ideas into newer, more malleable ones.

Steve realized that he was only feeling this way because of Lila's meltdown, but deep down hoped that he could have enough conviction to carry this through.

"You can do anything, Steve." Lila's voice echoed in his head- he hoped so.

**That. Was. Sad. To. Write.**

**Song credit- Cough Syrup by the amazing Young the Giant.**

**Also, poor Lila? I cried a bit writing this. And poor Steve. Any suggestions or ideas, review box is below! Lots of love, xoxo**


	14. Cough Syrup Comes Down

**Okay. Um. This one is long. It is boring. But this is a means to an end, I promise. **

_Lila POV_

It was dim in her room when she awakened. She blinked away the sleep in her eyes as she attempted to figure out what time it was. Lila found her iPhone by her bedside and checked that, realizing with a shock that it was almost 5 PM- she'd been sleeping since midmorning.

She could also hear people in the kitchen, doing- something. By this point, Lila was very possessive of her space in that room- she was the only one who could cook of all of Stark Tower's residents.

Swinging her legs out of bed, Lila went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. She was shocked to see that her face was swollen and reddish- she must have been crying in her sleep even. Suddenly, the morning's events unfolded in her memory once more, and Lila felt guilty. She'd made the Captain skip work at SHIELD, she'd insulted him, she'd lashed out at Tony- and she realized her hands hurt like hell. They were purpled at the knuckles, with the occasional graze or cut.

"I told you that was no way to box." Steve's voice randomly rang out behind her and Lila sprung around, hand at her heart in fright.

"Oops, I forgot you hate being surprised- relax." Steve rapidly amended.

"I'm alright, I'm just… I've been a massive ass to you, pardoning my language. I'm kind of ashamed, to be honest." She sounded contrite and meek, two things she'd never been fond of.

Steve smiled- "You think I of all people wouldn't understand? It's easier to lash out at the world for one day a year- it's something I respect about you. You don't let your loss stop you from moving forward. It's something I aspire to emulate."

Lila could feel her earlier embarrassment fade away, but only a little. "Who's here right now?"

Steve looked uncomfortable- a familiar look on his face to be honest. "Pepper and Tony are here with what they dubbed a Stark Tower "care package".

"I'll be right out then! Have you ordered something for dinner, we can ask them to stay!"  
Steve grumbled under his breath, and Lila demanded for him to please "Say it out loud!"

"I don't want Tony around you after what he said."  
For the life of her, Lila couldn't remember what he'd said. She could recall that it had made her angry enough to wordvomit- rather eloquently for someone with snot on her face at the time- but it was still word vomit.

"What could he have said? I remember being angry, but I was a ticking bomb at that time; even Pepper or Jarvis could've set me off."

"I suppose, but his asking if your boxing incident was a result of your being on your… uhm, _time of the month_ is most crass and inappropriate. I know that it's not nice to mention that to a girl, twenty first century or not." Steve looked adamant and huffy, and Lila felt warm and fuzzy at the thought of his defensiveness for her.  
"Thank you for everything, _everything _you've done for me today, but I'm going to be okay. Tony is just wired to say the most inappropriate thing at the worst time possible, and I'm able to handle that. My 14 year old brother was like that, actually. He's asked me that exact question before, about the time of the month. The difference is that I can't actually punch Iron Man in the face, because Pepper would probably kill me."  
Steve laughed, and she gently pushed him out of the bathroom so she could finish her washing up.

_Steve POV_

Steve leaned against the hall next to Lila's door.

Some of the strain had left her eyes. She obviously didn't remember what happened while she had slept- Lila had cried for hours in her sleep, calling out for her mother over and over again. Steve had had no idea what to do to help her- eventually she quieted down, but then she began to talk in her sleep.

"_Mama- mama, I'm sorry. Please, mama, don't go. I'll stay with you- Mama!" _She was having nightmares, and she wouldn't wake up. It wasn't until Lila began thrashing in bed that Steve realized he needed to restrain her from hurting herself.

Carefully, he sat next to her violently tossing and turning form, and gently held one of her hands. Immediately an iron-like grip took hold of his hand, and she was stiller, anchored by human touch. Steve stayed there as she slept, for what felt an eternity but what in reality must have been an hour. He stroked her hair, and thought.

_This is what real loss is. I'm better off- all my friends, excepting Bucky, passed on naturally, on their terms, at the right time. I can find comfort in that. I can accept that all my fellow soldiers, former team members fought other battles, without me. They must have saved countless lives- I can rejoice in that. Peggy must have married, found a new dancing partner. Nothing would have made me sadder if she had spent the rest of her life pining away for some lost Poster boy American war "hero". _

_I can overcome my sadness, because my losses were more misfortunate than tragic. I didn't lose anyone- I simply lost time. Besides, my new life has so many more remarkable people- it would be blasphemous to disregard that giant blessing._

"Hey, Stars and Stripes! C'mere, I need to know where you keep the can opener!" Iron Man could be heard opening and shutting kitchen drawers, with Pepper in the background clearly whispering for him to stop being a "giant imbecile".

Steve groaned- he'd momentarily forgotten the unwelcome guests.

"Coming, Tony."

Lila's voice chimed out from behind him- "Also, Tony Stark, did I or did I not ask you to refrain from calling my boss childish names?" Her voice seemed lighter, and her face seemed calmer.  
They entered the living area, when Lila was tackled by a hug that seemed more like an ambush.

"Oooof- oh, Pepper. Thank you, oh I'm fine, I'm okay. Let me just breathe and I'll be okay- phew."

The older woman had tears in her eyes, and seemed infinitely worried and stressed.  
"I knew Tony's big mouth would hurt someone other than me- besides public officials and media of course- but someone like you, who we BOTH actually care about! I was just so concerned, Jarvis alerted me of what was going on when Tony accosted you and Steve."  
"It's fine. I'm sure if Mr. Stark wasn't so dysfunctional, he'd have offered me a shoulder to cry on and a hug like anyone else. I'm fine, and touched at his bizarre concern."

Tony came forward, and somewhat meekly held out a wicker basket wrapped in tulle. "I am actually, genuinely sorry for what I said. I have a hard time apologizing to people, probably because I never feel sorry for the things I say. There's a first time for everything though, so here you go."

Lila removed the fabric and gasped at what she saw inside the basket.

There was a new iPhone case- "Indestructible, I designed it myself. Pepper told me to make it pink!"

A zebra striped Snuggie was wrapped around a jar of Nutella and spoon- "Pepper told me you liked Nutella."

There were numerous gift cards; a plethora of nail polishes- Lila was almost giddy with excitement.

"God, this is too much! Make period jokes more often Mr. Stark! I like what I get in return." She was too strung out to notice Steve's quiet disapproval.

Tony spoke up quietly, interrupting her and Pepper's examination of the nail polish colors.  
"Kiddo, you forgot to look at the bottom of the basket. Check it out."

Indeed, there lay a white envelope which had "LILA" scrawled on it what must have been Tony's handwriting.

She opened it and took out a typed document.

"You want ME to be your personal attorney?"

She was astounded. Lila looked like she'd been struck by lightning or hit by a train; her mouth was gaping open and her hands were at her cheeks like the kid from "Home Alone".

"Hey, I only want the best. Also, this applies only after you're done being the Cap's personal Dr. Phil."

Lila giggled idiotically and clutched the offer to her chest happily. "I am so, so grateful- thank you!" Her face suddenly fell as a thought occurred to her. "I'm not going to accept this offer if you think, ugh- I'm not a charity case orphan who needs a job to stay off the streets; don't get me wrong, but don't ask me to do this because you feel _sorry for me._ I was persuaded by Fury to do this but I did have other firms seeking me out."

Pepper looked like she agreed with her, and spoke up. "I told Tony you might reach that conclusion, and it is definitely not an unreasonable one. However, Lila, if you'd check the date on the letter head- You might be surprised."

It was dated nearly a week earlier- back when she was still struggling with reaching out to her boss and before the ball.

It was enough to make her burst into tears.

"I'm sorry! I'm just too defensive, even for a lawyer-can you forgive me, Mr. Stark?"

"It's Tony, kid, and it's fine. I'd feel the same if I got handed a once in a lifetime chance to work for a stud like myself."

Lila hugged Tony, but she was eye level with the glowing patch on the man's chest- "Your arc reactor's glare is blinding me, you need to wear a darker top!" Pulling away, she embraced Pepper, and looked for her boss. Sometime in her spiel, Steve must have slipped away, leaving her to make a fool of herself.

Oh well. She was enjoying herself. Lila was no fool- she knew that as soon as they left, her dark mood would return and the tears would commence. It was merely nice to have people who care about her enough to distract her from her troubles- therapeutic even.

_Steve POV:  
_Leave it to Stark to mess things up. Distracting Lila with pretty toys wasn't going to help her grieving process- it was nothing but a smoke screen. Stark had no idea how to "deal" with things, so he covered them up with alcohol and women. Well, maybe just Pepper now, but it still was incredibly immature and inefficient.

He stayed in his room until he heard a loud door being shut.

Steve didn't come out until he heard the fridge opening.  
"I was wondering if you'd come out soon."  
Lila was pulling out vegetables from the crisper and balancing them in her arms with a bottle of soy sauce. "What do you want in your stir-fry?"

His puzzled expression was apparently enough to cause Lila to groan in actual pain.

"Ooh sorry! Stir fry is a semi-Asian dish. It involves assorted vegetables and any kind of meat sautéed together in a kind of salty soy sauce, I think you'll like it."

Grateful for the explanation, Steve thanked her. "I like how you explain things to me, without asking. It's embarrassing to ask over and over again; What was that, when did that happen?"  
Lila looked like she was about to cry again, and Steve hastily changed the subject.

"Anyways, I think I need to brush up on the history I missed. I can go without studying the rest of the 40s since I already looked that up. I just need to… explore what happened in the rest of history."  
Lila's back was to him as she was chopping vegetables, and she didn't turn around. "That sounds wonderful, Captain. I was hoping you'd eventually want to study history, since I've brought my AP World History textbook from high school with me. I also brought my American Studies book from high school- I was a dork and took a lot of history classes." She turned around to find Steve rummaging in the fridge for a snack.

"Steve Rogers, I am cooking dinner! Why don't you help me so it goes faster?" Her voice was chilly, but she was kind of smiling.

"Oh, alright. I'll do that (referring to vegetable chopping). I used to do that sometimes- cut things, that is."

He realized how stupid he sounded, and began to separate the bell pepper sections.

Soon the kitchen began to smell of spicy beef and vegetables, and Lila was humming to herself.

"What were you listening to?"

She stopped humming, and Steve hoped he hadn't interrupted some deep thought.

"When was I listening to what?" She still was doing something on the stove, and didn't turn around. It was disconcerting for Steve.  
"When you were boxing, what were you listening to on your… iPod?"

She stopped stirring the stir fry and put down her spatula. "It was a song I've always liked. It's called Cough Syrup by the band, Young the Giant."

"That's a funny name for a song."

She laughed at that. "I guess, they're both kind of funny. I don't understand the band name any better than you, but the title is a metaphor."

"Can I hear it?"

Lila nodded and wiped her hands on a towel, grabbing her iPhone from its charger and finding the song. She was going to use her normal ear buds but changed her mind, realizing that the buds were too small for Steve's ears. She picked up the BOSE headphones Tony supplied to all the suites in his tower and plugged it in.

"Here ya go. Just hit the sideways triangle button." Steve sassily jibed "I know what a play button is by now, Miss. Know it all."

He stopped talking as the song began, and Lila returned to her cooking, pausing after two minutes passed to see her boss walking around the living room, listening intently to the lyrics of the song.

_Steve was remembering his motorcycle. It was army commissioned, but an ex-art student turned soldier had painted his shield on the side- red, white, and blue. He imagined what it would have been like to be able to listen to music while riding it on the highway, through roads in the forests of Europe. He'd feel like he was flying. _

"_I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, contro-o-ol."_

"Dinner's ready!"

Steve held up a finger, going to the kitchen to grab plates and utensils to set the table with.

As the song concluded, he absentmindedly reached up to grab the sauce bottle Lila was struggling to grab.

"That's a good song Lila. It's the first one from this time period I actually like."  
She dished up stirfry with white rice on both plates, and replied, "It reminds me of how life is a process. There's not a solution like cough syrup for life; no medical cure or medication. All we have is ourselves, and our mistakes and successes. Want some more soy sauce?"

Steve took a bite of his dinner and his eyes bulged. Panting, he shook his head. "THIS IS REALLY GOOD BUT SO HOT. MY TOUNGUE. I NEED WATER-MILK!" Lila got him the carton of milk from the fridge and before she could even pour him a glass, Steve chugged directly from the bottle.

"Oh, now it's ruined! That is your gallon of milk, Captain Rogers!"

Steve was about to retort when the doorbell rang.

Lila let him cool off with more milk, and answered the door.

"Oh- hello, director Fury. I wasn't expecting… anyone, actually. Come in."

Steve had heard her surprised welcome and had immediately composed himself, ignoring his burning tongue.

"Hello Director. What's the matter?"

"It's a matter of national security that you come with me tonight. There's been reported attacks around the Mid-West which tie with reports of Tesseract activity- you need to come with me, now."

Lila's eyes were huge as she ran to the closet in the hall and grabbed a khaki duffel bag.

"What is this, Miss. Amin?" Dir. Fury asked brusquely.

"I had this prepared in case the Captain had field work and I couldn't work with him. It's just clothes and such, plus some books."

"Thanks, Lila. I guess I got to go now."

Steve knew that this was bad for Lila. She'd had an emotional breakdown that morning, nightmare all afternoon long, and had managed to pretend to bounce back all evening.

His leaving now was literally the worst possible timing, but his country needed him.

Lila brokenly smiled. She knew she had no right to feel so attached, so she shoved down the choking feeling in her throat.

"Duty calls, Captain. You'll be back before you know it, so don't worry. I'll be waiting with those history books, promise."

"Hopefully, by the time I'm back, the Cough Syrup will have gone down."

Lila's eyes welled with tears at that, and Director Fury impatiently cleared his throat.

"Does national security mean nothing to either of you? Wrap up the farewells and meet me in the hall Captain Rogers. We've got to leave in 5 minutes."

Steve gave Lila a quick hug, grabbed the duffle bag, and followed his boss into the hallway, smiling before closing the door.

Lila stood there for what must have been only 5 minutes, and cried. It was overwhelming how her earlier emotions could return so suddenly- she supposed they'd never actually gone anywhere.

The tears were dripping off her nose as she walked past the table, ignoring the dirty food filled plates. She instead grabbed her phone, and attempted to check her email as a means of distraction. Ironically, she accidentally hit her music app and Cough Syrup began to play, the guitar chords tinny on the iPhone's crappy speakers.

She sat down on the sofa and put on her snuggie, sniffling as she typed out quick replies to former teachers and friends.

After finishing that, she lay down her phone looking for something, anything to do.

With a start, Lila remembered that Tony must have left for this mission by now as well. "Jarvis, did Directory Fury collect Mr. Stark as well?"

"Yes, Miss. Amin. Ms. Potts is indisposed at the moment; she may require a… friend, at the moment."  
Lila had never heard an AI sound worried before, so she grabbed her earlier gift from Pepper and ran out the door out of the suite, towards the elevator.

When she reached the top floor, Lila was immediately allowed entry into the living room.

"Pepper? Pepper?"

"I'm over here, Lila." The woman's voice was muffled and sounded weary, as if she'd been crying.

"You okay, Pepper? Did Tony leave too?"

Pepper lay on the sofa with a pillow on her face, obviously despairing about something.

"Yes. He left. And this time I really needed him, really really needed him. Damnit. God damnit, god damnit." Pepper pulled the pillow away and sat up. She wore a rumpled tee shirt and shorts, looking more disheveled than Lila had ever seen the normally put together woman.

"Are you okay though? Do you want me to go, or…?"

"Wanna spend the night Lila? I'm a mess and I need company or I'll go mad. Every time Tony leaves and then he'll show up the same night or the next month in a banged up suit and that same old tired sounding, "Hey Pep. How ya been?" expecting me to not care, to not be scared every time my phone rings or doesn't ring."

Lila held her friend's hand and let her talk.

She only interrupted when Pepper repeated for the fourth time that "Right now I just really need Tony, so, so badly. I need him here, not fighting some idiots across the country!"

Lila hoped against all hopes that her immediate conclusion was wrong, was stupid, was ridiculously overdramatic.

"Pepper, why exactly do you need Tony with you _right now? _What's different?"

The older woman smiled blearily through her tears, and wiped her eyes with her hands.

"Can you keep another secret Lila? A really, really big secret? From the whole world? And that goes for you too Jarvis. I am employing the override method Tony gave me for the final veto power on this decision."

"Yes, Ms. Potts, although I do believe Mr. Stark deserves to know."

Lila's eyes widened- "Pepper… Are you pregnant?"

The small nod and half grin Lila got was enough for her to burst into tears- she couldn't help herself, it was that kind of day.

"I'm SO happy for you Pepper, I'm really genuinely overjoyed! AH! Did you find out today?"

"Yeah, I did 3 home tests. I knew I was pregnant somehow, even before the results came. I was going to tell Tony before we went to bed, but…"

"Fury."

"Fucking Fury indeed."

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They spent the night laughing and crying, giving each other ugly manicures and watching movies on Netflix.

By 2 AM Lila was exhausted, and her knuckles were throbbing again. She tossed back two aspirin and glanced at Pepper on the sofa, lightly snoring against Lila's snuggie.

She gently wrapped the hideous As Seen On TV product around the pregnant Pepper Potts and tiptoed out of suite, and went back to her own suite.

The smell of garlic and too much soy sauce mingled with the sour odor of spoiled milk- it was open, the way Steve had left it. Lila felt the tears welling up for the thousandth time that night, and decided to clean the kitchen in the morning. She instead went into Steve's room and turned on the light. The room was sparsely decorated, with faded sepia pictures on the night stand next to an old fashioned alarm clock. Lila ran a hand over the plain blue bed spread and looked at the bookcase filled with old novels and what seemed to be journals. Lila skipped over the ones marked with years before 2011, and opened one- to hell with is privacy, Lila was upset and it seemed like it actually might be her time of the month (good guess Tony).

The book was a sketch book. The first was a drawing of a skyline- New York, except less cluttered, less bright. Even in simple pencil drawing, Steve'd captured the majesty of the skyscrapers and the people in NYC. She flipped forward and saw a picture of a foot- it was her crazy high heel from the ball. She stifled a laugh as she turned the page to a sketch of a mangled looking hand- she looked at a simple 06/04 and realized it was hers.

Gently putting the book back in its spot, Lila went to her own room and booted up her laptop. She began to research pregnancy symptoms and necessary vitamins, as well as exercise regimens. Something told Lila this mission was going to be a long one, and Pepper would need all the support she could get while her errant lover was gone.


	15. You Are My Sweetest Downfall

**Okay. Please forgive me for what's about to happen. Seriously. I'm abandoning my Darcy/Captain ship in lieu of something…. Completely expected except in a different way than I thought. Um. Forgive me for real. Also for a while, this will mostly be Lila POV. **

He'd been gone for two weeks. Lila couldn't expect all of Steve's missions to be as quick as the Loki Episode; the Avengers seemed to be all about extra-long and arduous tasks. Still, the days loomed endlessly ahead of her- Lila literally had nothing to do. Graduating university and graduate school by 17 was almost a disadvantage to her for the first time in her life- she was completely free. To distract herself, Lila offered herself as an unpaid intern to Pepper. The older woman was distraught by the length of Tony's absence and was glad for a trusted aide. The pregnancy was weighing heavily on both of their minds; Pepper because she never actually got to tell Tony that he was going to become a father and Lila because she had a suspicion that this mission would be much longer than anyone could have anticipated.

Lila did her best to help Pepper; she took over all communications and essentially became her secretary- she took calls, kept the media away from Pepper, and maintained constant checks on the status of the Avengers' mission.

Unfortunately, SHIELD's people and Stark's people kept on missing one another. Somehow Lila couldn't get any answers from the very unhelpful Agent Hill, who despite her bitchy exterior seemed to feel genuine sympathy for Pepper, if not Lila.  
Lila felt a little pathetic for letting herself get so attached to her boss; it wasn't as if she had any chance of romance with him. The yearning to see him was a simple school girl crush coupled with real friendship- nothing more.

It still hurt like a bitch to wake up to the sound of her alarm clock playing NPR and not Steve clanking his spoon in his morning Lucky Charms cereal.

Lila sucked it up though, for her own sanity and Pepper's. The woman was going batshit crazy, for lack of a better adjective. Every morning she would have Jarvis scan the internet for any sign of Tony's whereabouts- the results were always negative, and by 8 AM Pepper would go to the office and work a grueling 14 hour day, negotiating with investors and exploring new opportunities for her company. Lila insisted she cut down to a 10 hour day once they passed the one month benchmark- both women met in Lila's living room to cry together; it was a soggy vigil to the men they both missed.

Lila grew more ingrained into Stark Industries, and as one month became two, Pepper's morning sickness began to last till 4 in the afternoon, rendering her almost useless as a CEO. To everyone else's chagrin, Lila was promoted to acting CEO until Pepper was more stable, health wise. The younger girl was unhappy with the promotion- corporate law was ruthless and cruel, and she was a more Pro-bono girl.

The two made a sort of life for themselves.

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_It was October. Pepper was 4 ½ months pregnant. It was a girl._

Lila had lost weight. It wasn't an accidental five pounds before a wedding loss either- she went from a solid 157 pounds to 119 in three months. She probably had managed it by not cooking up storms for the Captain's dinner- Pepper had been living on her baby's cravings for a month now and that meant salads with grilled chicken and pickles- disgusting, but surprisingly healthy.

It was ironic that Lila would finally lose those pesky love handles during a time in her life when she just didn't care.

She knew that the mission had to have failed, whatever it was. SHIELD had stopped answering her calls, leaving them to a new secretary who managed to spend 30-45 minutes a call "finding someone to speak with her".

Lila also knew that Pepper had secretly resigned herself to raising her daughter alone; it was a mournful conclusion she had reached when one morning she found Pepper sobbing over an old arc reactor in what was once her and Tony's bedroom.

It was heartbreaking. The media had gotten wind of the lost team of heroes and was quick to dub them "Missing in Action; America's Lost Last Hope".

It was pathetically fitting and apt- for once, the trashy tabloids were honoring the real heroes the way they should.

Lila began to take walks around NYC- not too far from Stark tower; in case Pepper needed her, but far enough that she could think.

_Is it wrong to assume them all dead and to mourn them as such? Can I emotionally afford to lose the people around me like this- again? Can I bear this once more? Can I help Pepper during her even greater time of need? Why do fuck-ups like me have to step up and be the hero while the real ones are missing?_

_Why do I cry at night for a man who I have no claim over- nothing, not one reason at all crosses my mind._

Lila stopped short in front a flower shop. It looked like a small business, privately owned and well kept. She realized what had shocked her into stopping- a handmade wreath with a red, white, and blue ribbon it, with a banner across it emblazoned with **RIP CAPTAIN AMERICA, **held by a little Captain Teddy Bear.

The tears had begun falling without her even realizing it; Lila wiped them away impatiently and grabbed the wreath, buying it as well as the wreaths for the other Avengers. She also purchased a bouquet of orchids for Pepper, who needed all the cheering up she could get.

Walking home with her heavy bags, Lila realized that her thoughts were irrelevant; she had to join the world in respectfully bidding the world's greatest heroes farewell.

As she entered the Stark lobby elevator, Lila received a call from a number she'd stopped seeing months ago. Lila gathered herself, willing all traces of desperation and sorrow from her voice as she answered.

"Hello Director Fury."

"Miss. Amin. It's been a while."

Lila hated the tone of his voice; nonchalant, as if she hadn't been waiting for information eagerly for weeks on end. She decided to cut to the chase.

"What happened to the Avengers?"

He sighed, a first for the normally stoic sounding man.

"The mission went… foul. We lost some of our best operatives, none of the core team, but major nonetheless."

"What of the core team; where's Tony, and the Captain, and Thor? All of them, what happened?"

Her voice was shaking by then- the elevator was open and waiting, but Lila's world had stopped, waiting for Fury to answer her questions.

"I can't tell you over the phone. This mission, though compromised, may still be salvaged. I need you and Ms. Potts to be available tomorrow morning at 0600 hours for pickup."

She could feel the fury (tee fucking hee) coursing through her.

"Tell me one thing, for Ms. Potts' sake; is Tony Stark alive?"

Fury seemed to think it over.

"Yes."

The dial tone began to ring; the call was obviously over.

Lila took a minute before pressing the elevator button again.

How would she tell Pepper that her months of acceptance of the worst had gone to waste?

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_Steve POV _

It was dark, as always. Someone was doing something to his arm; drawing blood or removing muscle- that excruciating pain had faded into a numbed dream state. His mind floated while his body was trapped; music played in the back of his head, so softly that he could not ascertain what it was. Voices called to him like sirens; the closer he got, the closer he got to a memory of flashing pain and bright lights.

Captain America was almost lost to the world as it knew it, but Steve Rogers lived wholly in his mind.

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_Lila POV:_

Pepper was surprisingly calm when she heard news of Tony's survival of… something.

Lila was sure she was in shock, but she couldn't get Pepper to open up. Instead, she told Lila to pack herself an overnight bag; SHIELD owed them some answers, and it was time for them to assert their rights as the "Women of the Avengers", whatever that meant.

She supposed that pregnancy hormones were to blame for Pepper's insane reaction. It was worse perhaps that the woman had begun to show; Pepper was visibly showing a bump no designer blazer could hide, no matter how well cut.

Lila was scared too. What if everything had gone wrong? What if someone had switched sides, or had lost their mind?

She couldn't sleep that night. As she had a few nights before when being alone was impossible, Lila knocked on Pepper's door. The door immediately opened, and Lila was faced with Pepper in a robe, with her hair and face wet and shiny.

"I was trying to wash my hair and I thought, I should shave if I might see Tony tomorrow, but my back hurts and I can't really reach my ankles without bending down and that's uncomfortable. Now I have hairless thighs and hairy calves; what the bloody hell do I do with half hairless legs? I'm already knocked up, let's give Tony another reason to run screaming from me if and when I get to see him?"  
Lila gave her friend a quick, damp hug. The fear in Pepper's voice was real- she really thought her lover would reject her.

"Pep. Sweetheart, you're going to be beautiful just like you always are. Besides, you're like a naked mole rat- aren't most redheads nearly hairless anyways?"

With that distracting thought, Lila helped her pregnant new best friend with shaving her calves, denying any claims of awkwardness. She also painted Pepper's toes red, and her own a punchy pink. Even if Lila's heart was crushed tomorrow, she was going to look damn sharp in the meantime.

She wasn't Bella Swan- no man was going to ever render her useless to society or herself.

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**SHIELD HELICARRIER: LOCATION: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS OVER THE OCEAN**

It was cold in the waiting room of the helicarrier. Lila hated it immediately upon entering; Pepper drew her coat around her stomach protectively, as if her child could feel the chill through the layers of clothing and flesh.

"Ladies, I'm glad you came. It's been a difficult few months-"  
"Almost 5, Director."

Lila's tone was rude and sassy- her frustration with SHIELD was starting to show, finally.

"I am aware. I am also very, very sorry that you had to go through this the way you both did- especially you, Ms. Potts." Fury was patient, and sounded almost empathetic towards the ordeal both women had shared.

"Get to the point, please." Pepper sounded in control of herself, something only years of babying Tony Stark could teach a person at a time like this.

"Well, the point… The point, ladies, is that until last Friday, the Avengers were lost. Off the radar, out of our sight- they were basically considered lost or missing in action, indefinitely. The mission itself was simple; taking down a series of cult like organizations that had been terrorizing the mid-West. It turned out to be something much more than a simple case of homegrown terrorism. It turned out to be a trap, and by God if it wasn't a good one. We fell for it irrevocably- the setup was perfect. All of the team members were deeply involved in a covert operation within one of the facilities when they were taken down in ways specific to their particular weaknesses."

He paused to send the two SHIELD operatives out of the room. Lila and Pepper held their breaths- something big was coming.

"They were based in Iran. The organization, that is. The team was taken to Tehran, where they were held for a month or so- the dates are still hazy. It seems, according to what our preliminary examinations of the team have shown, that they were each tested. They were all tested in body, in terms of genetic makeup and build. Stark and Banner were in particular examined for mental capabilities. All this time the team was kept heavily, heavily sedated- near comatose. It's how they kept the Hulk out of the picture for so long. The purpose of the terrorists is clear to us now-"

Lila broke in excitedly, exclaiming, "They were going to attempt to clone them!"  
"Almost right, Miss. Amin. Cloning is too exact a word for what these… people did. It was more like a reconfiguration of a human being to be more like the specific Avenger, except suited to their own purposes and designs. In this case, it was overpowering the US forces in the Middle East for control of Israel's nuclear arms- by the way, SHIELD has opposed for years now the nuclear proliferation of Israel because of the dangerous nature of its geographic and political location. Anyways, once the new "Avengers" were created, the old ones were basically trash. They became prisoners, and as a result their captors became sloppy. They didn't sedate Banner enough just once- it was enough for him to take down the entire facility, and to get all of them out- except for one person who was still being kept under top security."  
Pepper spoke up for the first time, in a tiny voice. "Was it Tony?"

"No. It was Rogers. They still hadn't managed to- Miss. Amin, are you alright?"

Lila was swaying where she stood, her face blank of all emotions except a small wrinkle between her brows. "I'll be fine… it's just- nothing. Go on please!"

"As I was saying, there was nothing left to extract from the remaining team members, except Captain America. Dr. Erskine's super soldier serum has never been successfully replicated, and as usual those bozos thought they could figure it out by holding onto Rogers. We have sent a team of our current best to find and retrieve the Captain, as well as decimate this organization."

Lila put her hand in Pepper's, placing the other over her mouth as she stifled a small groan of dismay.

"Can we see Mr. Stark now, Director? Or at least Ms. Potts, she deserves to."

"Of course. Miss. Amin, you may accompany Ms. Potts to the medical ward, but unless you are directly asked for, please remain outside while she and he talk."

Lila seemed unfazed by the rejection and nodded, prompting Pepper to thank Fury and to follow a SHIELD employee who had silently popped up out of nowhere.

After what seemed like an endless hallway, they stopped before two doors.

Pepper didn't hesitate; she stepped through the doors, leaving Lila to her own thoughts.

_He's probably alive Lila. Don't be a bitch; be grateful that the rest are safe- pray for the Captain. Don't cry, don't you dare cry. This isn't something you write a letter to the government about; no amount of begging can get this job done. Lila Amin, you are not a super hero. You cannot jet to Iran to save the man you have a sad little girl crush on- accept that there are capable people on this mission who will see it through to the end- or die trying. Don't let yourself wallow, stand up. Be glad for Pepper; be happy that the little one inside of her will know her father. Be thankful that Thor is okay-imagine if Asgard decided to attack the Earth to avenge their lost Prince. Don't think of Steve- no, CAPTAIN ROGERS, dancing with you, blushing, eating your cooking, picking you up when the darkness threatened to swallow you wholly._

_Just clear your mind._

_You are here on this earth to help others. Ignore this sorrow; resign yourself to the tears at night. Soon, soon, you will be free from this pain. _

_Soon._

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Lila was allowed to see Tony after an hour. Pepper lay near him on his hospital bed. Tony Stark was a larger-than-life kind of guy, but right then his frame seemed small, even fragile. Like Lila he'd lost weight- his face had lost its healthy glow and roundness.

"Hello, Tony."

"Hi, kid. You kay?"

Lila's face crumpled into tears as she nodded "yes" furiously.

"I am okay. I'm just- I'm getting there."

Pepper lifted her head from Tony's chest- "Lila, we'd like you to be this baby's god mother. Tony agreed, you're the obvious choice. Just look at your resume."  
Lila giggled, and smiled at the sight of Tony Stark stroking the mother of his child's stomach like it was the most precious piece of technology in the world.

"I'll be honored to. Tony, you're going to be a dad, Mazel Tov."

The man beamed tiredly- he was so obviously weak with fatigue that Lila wanted to drop everything and fill him with chicken soup and vegetables and vitamins and whatever it would take to make him seem immortal again.

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_Steve POV: _

_The fuzziness in his vision wouldn't go away, even in his dreams._

_It was always him, swaying and dancing with someone. He'd spin them, and he could smell their shampoo- indistinguishable but unforgettable- and he knew he'd finally found his right partner._

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**March, 2013.**

It was a bright day in Malibu when baby Maria came. Lila had flown in from New York to be there for the birth. Of course, like the genius baby she was destined to be, Maria was born right on her due date- March 13, 2013. It was a Wednesday, and Tony Stark was celebrating by singing loudly and off key.

"THE HILLS ARE ALIVEEE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!"

Pepper lay in her hospital bed, much like Tony months before, except she seemed strong and healthy after a 7 hour labor.  
Lila sat nearby, holding baby Maria for the first time with a stupid smile on her face.

"Jeez kid, I swear if you stare at my baby any longer I'll suspect you of planning to kidnap her for your own."

Lila laughed and held the pink bundle back to its father. "She's all yours- I already foresee a terrible twos period which will fade into a fun haze which will then end in a tumultuous and turbulent adolescence- she's gonna be a bigger hell raiser than her daddy dear."

Tony looked like he was going to vomit at the thought of his football sized daughter doing god knows what.

"Shut up Lila- just, shut up. That's mean, this is my first day! I need to be able to remember this as a completely joyful day!"  
Pepper drily cut in. "I remember today a bit differently- I was pushing this little angel out of my vagina while my husband was frantically yelling to the nurse that he wasn't prepared for fatherhood."  
"I was having a moment, Pepper."

His wife wickedly smiled and replied, "I was having 12 percent of a moment."

Lila took that as her cue to leave, graciously promising to come over with dinner to the Stark mansion that night- Pepper was getting discharged early.

She drove back to her hotel, smiling in spite of herself.

Being CEO pro tempore of Stark Industries was draining, but incredibly satisfying. It wasn't much for her to step into Pepper's role of general caretaker of Howard Stark's legacy, and little Maria Stark Jr's future.

All it took was some hiring of expert corporate business people- approved by Mr. and Mrs. Stark of course, and qualified to the extreme.

Life was working out okay, and Lila could almost ignore the quiet sadness in her heart.

The three weeks she'd spent being Captain America's "assistant" would never be on her resume. It was a given, but it would be nice for her to remember something of that time- she'd fallen apart and put herself back together again.

Lila had had to vacate her suite immediately- it wasn't that Tony wanted her to leave upon his return. In fact, he'd taken the time to visit Lila one day while Pepper was at her mother's for the weekend.

He'd brought his will with him, as well as his current Stark Industry attorney.  
Lila hadn't been surprised when he told her she couldn't be his personal attorney anymore. It was expected- she'd become too attached to the man and his then-lover.

It was when he told Lila he wanted her to the baby's official guardian should something happen to him or Pepper- that was when Lila grabbed his arm and nodded vigorously, speechless.

Lila could feel her heart expanding with love and compassion for the little family around her, and she realized that she was setting herself up for an even greater fall than when she lost her family (and 1300ish classmates).

That was when she left Stark Tower for a small apartment in a nicer neighborhood, close enough that she could easily take a cab to work each morning. She still walked the streets of NYC, but it was more with more purpose than her aimless meandering before.

The nights were also less lonely.

Lila had gotten a cat, named it Steve, and then promptly laughed at her pathetic self.

It soon faded in her mind that Captain America was lost to the world.

She didn't even consider him dead; just lost, like a fish in the ocean or a leaf in a forest.

Years passed that way, with the occasional nightmare. Sometimes she'd box herself into frenzy, and her hands would be bruised, without anyone to stop her and bandage them up.

The time flew. She officially was named Stark Industry's second in command- Pepper returned to work when Maria turned two since Tony was spending more time at home building than doing missions.

The rest of the Avengers were isolated too. They no longer worked as a team- their leader was gone, and so was their confidence in their capability to protect and defend the Earth and more importantly, one another.

Lila could almost forget that she'd been a part of SHIELD.

It was after 4 years that she accepted that the Captain would never, ever return. She had a mini-memorial in Arlington National Cemetery, in Virginia, all alone.

Of course, Lila's life could never calm down.

She couldn't ever move on from anything in a way that would be healthy, because life would bite her in the ass.

It was during her first date EVER, at the ripe old age of 22, which Pepper had begged her to go on, when that one number showed up in her by then thrice updated iPhone.

Lila knew even before she excused herself, running out of the restaurant in her heels, that something was about to change, forever.

"Miss. Amin. We've got him back, and I think we could use your assistance."

"When will you get me, Director Fury?"

**Um.**

**Okay.**

**This is clichéd and I feel it's my worst work but please review, it really gives me a clear idea as to what path my story should take. Thanks so much, I have no idea how much longer this should take. I'm also sorry about my crappy "mission"- I'm not good with action at all. Lots of love. xoxo**


	16. Heaven is A Place On Earth With You

**I started this immediately after the last chapter so I wouldn't lose my sadgirl frame of mind. Love you all, xoxo.**

_Lila POV:  
_She was shaking. Whether it was with fear or excitement, she couldn't tell.

All Lila knew is that she couldn't expect anything to go the way that she imagined it- there might not be a tearful, joyful reunion. It would be a wonder if after his ordeal the Captain would even remember her.

The car picked her up from her apartment by the time she had returned from her aborted date. By 11 PM, she was on that damned helicarrier again- it seemed like a chariot of hell, transporting her from one emotional rollercoaster to another. It also seemed bigger than 4 years ago- she supposed SHIELD had new, scarier things to transport on it.

Director Fury was waiting for her in a waiting room so similar to the one where her younger self had anxiously listened for the fate of her boss and crush.

The man was ageless- 4 years didn't show anywhere on his face- except perhaps behind his eye patch.

He almost smiled at the sight of a grown up Lila. "We've been keeping track of you Miss. Amin. I'm impressed with your additions to your resume- Stark Industries is lucky to have you."

Lila was suspicious- Fury was almost being… charming? From what she remembered, the man was as cuddly as a freaking porcupine. Obviously he wanted something from her… she just couldn't imagine what.

She also realized that she had just potentially abandoned her livelihood for the chance to see her former employer.

Lila vowed at that moment to not let herself fall so deeply into… whatever it was with Steve Rogers. She was older, wiser. Somewhat experienced in the ways of life if not love.

She snapped out of her thoughts when Fury quizzically looked at her.

"Ms. Amin, are you alright?"  
"Yes- uh, I'm sorry. This is just a lot to swallow for one night."

The man nodded, and gestured to her to follow him.

He spoke as he strode, long legs going much faster than hers.

"We finally got him in a lab facility in the Ural Mountains, near Northwestern Kazakhstan. He was a prisoner. They'd given up on the serum a year after his capture and kept him as an eventual bargaining chip. They tried to haggle with us over some detained arms dealers in Argentina- we used them to figure out where the Captain was, and the rest was simple."

"Was it really that easy?"  
He smiled again- scaring Lila.

"It's been 4 whole years Ms. Amin- how easy do you think it _really _was? We'd only just gotten back the Captain when we lost him again; I personally could not stand to let him remain lost for so long."

Lila jogged to catch up to the tall man and asked, "What do you need me for?"

Fury stopped and turned, causing Lila to nearly run into him.

"I need you to be his counselor like before; except this time, it's to recover from his time… abroad. I've spoken to Stark, and your position is currently under control by Mrs. Stark. You're free to work with the Captain for as long as he needs. It's of primary concern to SHIELD that we are able to help this man."

Lila liked that, but had one comment.

"You realize that the last time, you put him on the field with too many expectations, too soon, right?"

"Yes, I do. It was a necessity of war."  
"You also realize that placing all the responsibility on me was a plan that was geared towards failure from the start?"

Fury grimly nodded in agreement. "It was once again a short sighted move on my part. I was merely trying to do what it took to steer that team in the right direction. I sent them in the line of fire instead- a grave error on my part. I've paid for it and I'm not making that mistake again."

Lila was pleased that Fury was admitting to his faults.

"I'm glad to hear that. Shall we go on, then?"

Lila walked onwards down a long hallway, not letting herself think for fear of hyperventilating.

_How is he? Is he healthy? Is he awake? Can he talk, laugh, or even smile? Does he even want to see me?_

Their walk halted before a pair of doors- Medical Ward again. How similar this trip was to her previous one, except last time she'd merely been a support system for Pepper.

This time, it was personal and impersonal- a matter of life and death, and a new job offer.

What a paradox.

The doors opened, and Lila walked in slowly. She wished she'd changed out of her "date night" outfit, designed by Pepper and guy-approved by Tony. The glittery skirt swung around her knees with the silky black long sleeve blouse, with a pair of ridiculously high heels (her one weakness).

Thoughts of her appearance swirled in her head- was it appropriate to see the Captain looking like a girl on the prowl? She could tell that she was just being ridiculous and nervous. Ignoring her mind's futile attempts to distract her, Lila approached a screened in corner of the large room- clearly the Captain was there.

When the curtains parted, she didn't expect to see a nurse bathing red wounds marring what was once the broad back of a man in the prime of his life.

Captain Steve Rogers was still a physically fit specimen- the serum didn't allow his muscles to go lax from disuse. His skin was deathly pale however, and his hands curled around the sheets of his bed loosely, as if they lacked the strength to even grip them.

Lila felt the lump in her throat threaten to break her voice, so she glanced at Fury once. He nodded, and turned to leave the room.

She composed herself enough to steady her voice, ignoring the rising panic in her chest as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Hi Captain Rogers."

_Steve POV:_

It was strange how being free could still feel like being a prisoner. For a strange eternity, Steve had let himself go- his body was his captors', no longer his own to control. His mind was free to wander as the drugs dictated. It was his heart which surprised him.

Even now, though he felt his body and mind struggling to return to him, their former owner, Steve's heart jumped at the sound of a female voice greeting him softly. Maybe his old self wasn't as lost as he'd thought it was.

Slowly, the nurse helped him turn around on the bed, carefully pulling on a hospital issue shirt to cover the scars.

Steve had been looking at the ground as he had had his wounds bathed. He didn't think to look up as he was turning around. He sat back down on the bed and gazed at the feet before him.

They were small, feminine, in strappy sandals which seemed to defy logic and gravity with their height. Pink toenails peeked out at him, emphasizing the dawning realization that Captain Steve Rogers hadn't seen a single woman in his time in captivity- considering how much of it was spent sedated, that didn't amount to much. It still came as a shock when he raised his gaze to meet a steady pair of watery brown eyes framed with practiced eye shadow and mascara.

"Steve? Do you- it's me, Lila. I'm so happy to see you."

The voice- it was familiar. It came back to him slowly, like the dregs at bottom of a pot of old coffee. "I'm your old assistant- I cooked a lot, and talked a lot."

Something triggered his memories, and they returned as if they'd never left.

"You boxed… and you were a lawyer… you had a purple dress… Cough Syrup."

His voice sounded rougher and quieter, and with a pang Lila realized that he must not have talked to anyone for almost 4 years.

Still, something struck her to her very soul- Her heart soared at the thought of his recalling a simple conversation from 4 years ago.

"You remember the song?"

"I remember- no… it's just something that flashes in front of me… not quite a memory yet."

Lila pulled a nearby chair close to Steve and took off her shoes, sitting cross legged, glad she'd worn shorts under her shiny skirt.

"Steve, I'm going to be staying with you again. Is that okay?"

To Steve, it seemed familiar. He was the weaker man, being helped by a stronger more capable woman- typical. The idea of a life similar to his previous one sounded pleasant.

"I think that'll be… just fine."

Lila grinned, overjoyed in spite of herself. The tears leaked out of her eyes even more freely than before, and she felt something in her chest lift, something that had resided in there since the day she'd broke down in the boxing ring listening to an Indie song.

"I'm so glad you're back- I missed you so!"

Steve sat up straighter, as he belatedly realized that Lila was openly sobbing before him with a bizarre smile on her face.

A familiar tug on his heart reminded him of an earlier time, when he had friends around him, few as they may have been.

He must have missed Lila too- he could feel his eyes dampen with tears as well.

"Can I hug you Steve? If you don't want me to I won't!"

He replied by carefully placing his arms around her shoulders, unconsciously enjoying her warmth and fragrance.

She hugged back, even more gently than him, taking care to not touch his back- she couldn't get those puckered red scars out of her head.

He leaned his head into the crook of Lila's shoulder, resting it there. He could feel the wetness of her crying on his head, and couldn't prevent a few tears falling from his own eyes onto his lap.  
They stayed that way, Lila waiting for the Captain to let go when he was ready.

Steve was unwilling to let go - he had found what he had missed for the lost years of his life- human contact.

Touch.

Affection.

Opening himself up to another person. Even before he'd been taken, he'd struggled in realizing what he wanted.  
Who knew his desires were so basic and available?

_Lila POV:_

He wasn't letting go. It had been 10 minutes and they remained in the awkward embrace. Her legs were growing numb from leaning forward while seated criss-cross. Lila gently pulled away, making sure to maintain contact by holding his hand.

"Steve, I have to change my position or my legs will fall asleep."

The big man let go, loosely holding Lila's hand.

"Lila Amin. It took a minute, but now I remember all of it. You tried to make me go shopping, and you beat up Tony Stark for me."

He sounded like his old self- which rang warning bells in Lila's mind immediately.  
"Steve, you don't ever have to pretend like you're okay or whatever with me- I frankly feel like a wreck, and I'm the one who was sitting on her ass at home waiting for SHIELD to find you."

Steve's face contorted slightly as if in pain, prompting Lila to worriedly ask "Are you alright? Should I call the nurse?"

He shook his head slowly- "I was just remembering… something. It's all in bits and pieces, my memories. The doctors tell me that I blocked a lot of the bad stuff- something about repressing the traumatic experiences as a coping mechanism."

Lila nodded, and remained silent for a few minutes. She had no idea what to say to comfort Steve; he'd lost parts of his life _again _and it really wasn't fair.

Just looking at him made her sad- for the first time, he'd appeared to age. The changes were slight but glaringly obvious to Lila; light crow's feet near his blue eyes, wrinkles around his mouth. Even his blonde hair seemed to have lost some of its former shine.

She finally decided to just talk to him about her life, what had happened.

"I suppose I ought to catch you up on what's going on. Are you up to talking for a while?"

He leaned back against his pillows and allowed Lila to cover him with his blanket, despite the fact that he could actually do that himself.

"Lila, I haven't had a real conversation in 4 years. Go for it. Commence the word vomit." He smirked a little, and the girl in Lila jumped in joy at the sight of it.

"Well, to start, Pepper found out she was pregnant the night you all left for the mission-"

Steve's mouth gaped open for a moment before he exclaimed,

"Really? And she had to go through that alone!"

"Not really, I was there and so was Jarvis. Tony was missing in action for about 5 months, during which time Pepper accepted that she might be a single mom. I was her second in command at Stark Industries, and she was able to focus on her pregnancy. However, Tony did return." Her phone rang, and Lila took a minute to check the caller ID.  
"Oh, it's Pepper. She probably wants to know how you are, I'll call her later."

Steve shook his head, and gestured for her to hand him the phone. Lila hit the answer button and handed it to him.

"Hello Ms. Potts."

The combination shriek/squeal Lila overheard was clearly Pepper dying of joy at hearing the Captain's voice again.

"Oh, it's Mrs. Stark now? I'm glad Tony manned up and finally made you an honest woman; not that you were ever dishonest- oh, Tony wants to talk? Well, I knew I'd have to…"

Lila snatched the phone from Steve's hand for a moment and walked away, furiously whispering into the phone.

"TONY STARK, IF YOU SO MUCH AS THINK OF INSULTING STEVE, I WILL CUT OFF ALL OF PEPPER'S FUTURE CHILDREN- YOU WILL BE HALF THE MAN YOU ONCE WERE."

She forgot that Steve had accelerated hearing due to his "superhuman" status, and continued to threaten the billionaire. It was a few minutes before she handed the phone back to Steve, lying with a straight face, "I needed to discuss the price of Stark shares before the Stock Market opened tomorrow morning."

"It's Sunday tomorrow, but thanks anyways. Hello?"

Obviously Tony had gotten the message, because they managed to hold a decent conversation, during which Steve was told of little 3 ½ year old Maria, who apparently couldn't wait to meet her uncle Stevie.

Lila could feel her body tensing up- something was stressing her out. She took the opportunity to sit on the ground and stretch, allowing her muscles to relax a little.

"Ah- Lila, I'm done talking. Do you want your phone back?"

Lila shook her head from her supine position on the ground, legs and arms stretched out in front of her.

"Are you feeling okay Lila?"

"Pepper got me into doing these Yoga stretches whenever I start to feel worried. It really, really works- my stress melts away."

Steve smiled at the comical sight of a grown woman doing calisthenics in the middle of a sick room- then became thoughtful at the sight of a grown up Lila.

"You seem to be feeling a lot healthier than when we last met."

Lila straightened out, standing up and returning to her seat near his bed.  
"I've given up on cooking like Paula Deen, if that's what you mean. She's a famous chef by the way, who believes that every recipe calls for a whole stick of butter, at least. I also continued boxing, as well as walking around the city at night."

"That doesn't sound safe, are you accompanied by someone?"

"Nothing but I, my music, and my Taser are with me when I walk. It's therapeutic, I'm usually surrounded by paperwork and a computer at all times."

Steve looked puzzled. "What exactly is your job now?"

"Until this evening, I was an executive position in Stark Industries, working as Pepper's second in command. I've managed the corporate finance side of the business ever since Pepper was pregnant."

Lila's eyes brightened as she grabbed her phone again.

"You need to see a picture of baby Maria! Well, she's rather grown up now, but I've saved pictures of her since the day she was born!"

She selected a picture of a newborn Maria, hours after her birth. She was in Tony's arms, with her little red face peeking out- a tuft of dark hair marked her as her father's daughter.

"She's beautiful. I'm happy for Tony."

Lila could hear something in Steve's voice- not quite bitterness, but still a faint regret.

"You know, you can meet her tomorrow."

"Really? I thought I was stuck here until the doctors declare me sane."

Steve's sarcasm was rather sad, but it hit home for Lila how lucky she was that her boss had come out of this far more safely than she had imagined.

"I'm springing you free. It's my first executive order as your assistant."

"That makes zero sense."

Steve looked more animated, and Lila wondered if she would have to make him smile like this all the time.

"It's fine, just trust me. We're going to get out of here after a good night's sleep, which I need by the way. I had to start getting ready for this blind-date thing Pepper set me up for too early; against my will might I add."

Steve smiled softly again. "Are you seriously still single? You have to be, what, 22, 23 years old now?"

Lila indignantly replied, "I'm 22, thank you, and I've been spending my days building up Tony's empire to greater heights than they've ever known."

He laughed, and told her to lie down on one of the neighboring vacant beds, explaining that, "It's just me in here. I don't have to share the view with anyone, it's nice. You can stay here for tonight, if you don't mind."

Lila lay down, suddenly feeling intensely drained and exhausted.  
"Good night Steve. Try to sleep."

"I've slept a lot in the past century or so, but alright Lila. For you, I'll sleep."  
The words seemed strangely intimate and possessive to Lila, but she ignored the feeling and turned over, immediately falling asleep. Her body and mind were both pushed to their respective limits.

_Steve POV:_

She had become beautiful sometime during his absence. Before, she'd been a child with chubby curves and round cheeks. Obviously Lila had lost significant weight at some point, because suddenly her curves were no longer of the fat sort. Steve felt slightly guilty for ogling the sleeping girl from behind, but pushed away the feelings.

He knew he was just thirsty for the sight of people he knew and actually liked- if Fury's ugly mug was the first thing he woke up to **again,** he was going to scream.

Lila looked like a breath of fresh air- her hair was bouncy and shorter than before, still brown and well kept.

Her clothes were more provocative too- the younger version of her favored pants and more conservative dresses to the short, frilly clothes she wore now. He didn't mind the change at all, he was in fact glad to see her grow up like a normal person. She of all people had deserved normalcy for her future.

His guilt returned as he then realized that he'd probably ruined those past 4 years of her life- she'd had to give up her legal career to help Pepper, and she never found love probably because she had never gotten over his going missing.  
He hoped she'd overcome her schoolgirl crush on him- though she wasn't a girl anymore.

Steve lay back comfortably and sighed. He considered himself 28 years old only- the lost years hardly counted, even the past couple he ignored as ever having occurred. He'd done so much damn living, and yet it seemed as if he'd hardly even lived at all.

At least before he had been the leader of the Avengers; now he was just an invalid, a burden to SHIELD and more importantly Lila.

What bothered him most of all, after this hellish experience, was the fact that he had yet to find a stable, comfortable relationship. He didn't mean a lover or a girlfriend- all Steve wanted was a really solid friendship with someone he could count on, someone who he could trust…

He supposed Lila was the closest thing he had to that, followed by Pepper and Tony, although he still wasn't sure if he wanted that to be the case.

Lila's voice suddenly surprised him;

"Steve, I can practically hear you thinking. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Her voice was husky with sleep, and Steve wished for the thousandth time that he could just fall in love with someone like her, someone utterly reliable and smart and brilliant.

Then something jolted through him like lightning- a thought, no, more like a revelation.

Lila was who he had dreamt of during his captivity- the mysterious dancing girl- the right partner, after all those years of waiting. He'd obviously made some kind of noise because Lila stirred once again.

"Steve? You 'kay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

He waited till her breathing was heavy and even again, and then allowed himself to ponder once more.

_Should I actually take my dreams as a serious representation of my emotions? Do I even love her, or am I just that lonely? How can I even imagine tying someone with a future THAT bright down with someone with as much baggage as me? _

_Is this just fever talking? Am I delirious?_

Steve decided that the best course of action was to shove every emotion down into the depths of him, until he was able to think it through more clearly. It was nearing 2 AM and he was actually quite tired.

Sleep was the answer. Sleep was actually what most of Steve's life consisted of, wasn't it?

He fell asleep with that final pithy thought in mind.

Lila turned over and opened her eyes, gazing at the Captain.

She smiled at his back, wishing again that she could get over her stupid crush on him.

Something just wouldn't let her go- she knew it was unhealthy but she couldn't let go of the feeling that he the best man she would ever meet.

Still, it was silly for her to pretend that she'd ever be anything more than a friend to him. Lila closed her eyes and went to sleep, for real that time.

**Okay. I still am so unsure of where I'm going but now that I want them together I want to do it as naturally and normally as possible.**

**Also, the superhero-y stuff might be a lot less now that we have a recovering Captain America and daddy!Tony. C: reviews are love.**


	17. Are You Lonesome Tonight?

**This is going to be a little happier from now on until the evil plot bunny in my head says otherwise… Also, prepare for Tony and Pepper's baby girl, Maria!**

_Lila POV:  
_She looked like shit.

Lila was barefoot in a (kind of) public restroom, which was disgusting enough as it was, but to make matters worse, it looked like she had fought a bear in her sleep- Using her face and hair.

The mirror did not lie, especially with SHIELD's unforgivingly blinding white lights in the restroom.

Lila had mascara smeared around her eyes like some kind of raccoon, and her artfully tousled curls had become a rat's nest.

She did her best combing it out with her fingers, but the best she could do was to tamp the frizz down into a sort of faux-afro.

It wasn't the impression she wanted to make on Steve that morning, but she figured that beggars couldn't be choosers in this scenario.

Besides, she had changed from the little girl who would wake up at 4 to put out a bowl of cereal for her boss- most mornings, she was out of the apartment by 7 AM in some kind of suit and a simple bun or ponytail- makeup was something she did in her office after a cup of coffee, _if _she had a meeting.

Otherwise, her regimen was much simpler than before.

She thought the natural look suited her- it reflected her overall more relaxed attitude regarding life.

Lila knew that shit happened- she could write a thousand young adult novels on the subject, but instead chose to accept it and to flow along with life.

That was why Lila walked out of the restroom with a lot of confidence for someone who looked as though she had been assaulted in the night.

"Good morning Steve! Hello, doctor."

Before Steve could reply, the elderly medic spoke up.

"Good morning Ms. Amin. I actually wanted to discuss Captain Rogers' discharge with you."

She nodded, immediately pulling out her phone to take notes.

"First and foremost- recovery is of the highest priority for him. Physically, he is at an obvious advantage. However, he is significantly weaker than he should be, and can only stomach soft, semi-liquid foods, due to his 4 years of intravenous feeding."

Steve looked agitated, clearly unhappy to hear his weakness so openly discussed. Lila made a mental note to reassure him somehow later, over breakfast.

"Go on, doctor. What else do I need to focus on?"

"His exercise- I want it to be gentle. While his body is actually in excellent condition, his constitution has taken a serious hit. He essentially has a strong body but his system isn't quite up to passing level just yet. He needs light aerobics- even some basic yoga or jogging. No boxing for six weeks or so- can't elevate his heart rate past a certain point."

Internally Lila sighed with relief- he was going to be okay. He just needed rest and relaxation. She replied,

"That sounds about right; I can cover all of that without professional aid."

"Excellent Ms. Amin." The doctor dropped his voice to what was practically a stage whisper and said, "His mental care is up to you and your opinion- Director Fury said you were in charge of that."

Lila's heart sunk- not only was she meant to take care of Steve's rehabilitation, but she was once again burdened with the potential to fail at helping him overcome his demons.

_Steve POV:_

She was blatantly disturbed by something the doctor had told her- she wasn't very indicative in her facial expressions, but the way Lila's eyes widened at the words "mental care" made Steve want to punch something.

Maybe she was realizing what she was getting herself into- again.

Feeling defeated, he lay back against his pillows and waited for Lila to stop typing at her phone while nodding furiously at the physician, who he knew only meant well.

Still, he had made Steve look like a newborn kitten when describing his condition- he just needed some rest, which was all.

He was glad when the man left and a nurse wheeled in a breakfast tray for two.

He grimaced at the sight of two bowls of gloppy oatmeal which clearly were not made with any love from SHIELD's kitchen.

Lila gamely grabbed a serving and spooned some into her mouth, mostly managing to avoid gagging at the disgusting concoction.

"Steve, this tastes awful. Eat it."

"Why? That's very contradictory."

"It's also full of healthy fiber and vitamins- you and I both need them."

"You mean I need them."

Lila smiled and shook her head patiently.

"Nuh-uh. I've been living on canned soup and coffee for the past six months since my promotion- if I wasn't eating dinner at work, I would eat at home, besides whenever Pepper has me over to "nourish me" as she calls it."

Lila seemed happy talking about the Starks- he hoped that he could also feel that kinship for the family, considering he lacked any of his own.

"Steve, things are going to be different this time." Lila's tone was very serious, which made Steve want to laugh- her hair looked ridiculous and her makeup was all over the place. He sobered up, and replied solemnly,

"How so?"

"I'm not going to pretend to be perfect anymore. That was exhausting and frankly, I think it made our situation a ticking time bomb for both of us. Either I would have cracked under the pressure or you would have murdered me for being annoying as all get out."

As usual, she seemed right on the money.

"I agree. I promise not to be so… uptight. I'll try, at least. Besides, considering the fact that I am forbidden from strenuous exercise, you'll have to help me even more than before."  
Lila could hear his reticence and irritation at being an invalid.

"I'm not just doing this as a job Steve. I committed to something 4 years ago, and I've never left a job unfinished. You are my friend and it is honestly a pleasure for me to help you recuperate. Besides, you realize that my job at Stark Industries is literally just whatever Pepper can't get done in a work day? I'm like a sieve which picks up the things she left behind."

She was doing that thing where she sounded entirely too intense and serious for someone that young.

Steve was happier to know that she didn't consider the actual job itself a burden- but he knew that as time passed, things would change. She'd have to help him through the now recurring nightmares and mood swings.

Maybe Lila wouldn't like him so much after that.

_Lila POV: _

SHIELD had given her a new apartment. It was more of a penthouse, larger than what two people would actually need, but Captain Rogers was a decorated war hero who was in recovery from action- he deserved the best.

Maybe it was Fury's way of making it up to both of them-  
God knows Lila's life had been in flux after Steve went missing.

Things seemed to be settling down though, and as always, seeing her photos on the walls of the spacious rooms made her feel better.

They had left the helicarrier near noon, after the doctor had officially discharged Steve from his care.

A SHIELD car followed by a moving truck took them uptown, near Stark Towers and several of Lila's favorite walking distance shops.

The apartment itself was mainly furnished; Lila's previous abode was minimal since she only spent time there to sleep and get dressed for her day.

Steve immediately went to his room to rest upon arrival. Lila had seen how pale he was after exiting the elevator and walking around the apartment- denial or not, she knew that he was much weaker than he let on.

She didn't make a fuss over him though- he was very obviously upset over his physical state, and irritating Steve would simply worsen his emotional problems.

Instead, Lila let him do whatever he was doing in his room, unpacking the few personal items she had brought besides her clothes and other sundries.

It was around an hour later when Steve returned from his room, showered and limping.

Lila saw him hobbling immediately and asked,

"What happened? Did you fall in the shower?"

He looked ashamed when he replied, "I felt woozy, and next thing I knew I was on the floor of the shower."  
"How the hell didn't I hear that- oh sheesh. Fancy SHIELD and its fancy apartments with soundproof walls- of course." Lila's exasperated sarcasm made Steve smile, and she used his temporary good humor to convince him to let her have a look.

They sat on the sofa, Lila gently propping up his foot on a pillow.

"It's nothing more than a light sprain, but you're not showering alone again."

Steve's face contorted with shock and he turned red.  
"I BEG YOUR PARDON- I said I'd try being less uptight but that's too far Lila!"

She blushed and vigorously shook her head no, saying,

"NO, not like that! I just meant that I'd wait outside while you showered, sit on the toilet or something while you get washed up- just to make sure you don't black out again. I'd leave before you got out of the shower- I'll make sure the curtains are completely un-see through."

Steve groaned and Lila sympathetically patted his hand, rising to grab ice for his sprained ankle.

"It'll be fine. Also, I'm starved, so I'm gonna go heat something up for us now. Do you need something?"

Steve looked thoughtful as he picked up a book randomly from the coffee table.

"Can you maybe turn on some music? I haven't heard any music for the longest time."

Lila could have cried- of course he hadn't heard music in 4 years! There was obviously none during his captivity, and SHIELD also lacked any form of music on its premises.  
"Definitely, let me just find something appropriate."

Lila skipped Cough Syrup- even she could tell that that would be an over-emotional chick-flick move. She instead selected "Are You Lonesome Tonight", covered by Elvis Presley.

The kitchen was equipped with basic cooking supplies- cans of soup and frozen food, milk and cereal.

Lila heated a can of tomato soup with some extra soft boxed mashed potatoes- the meal was unorthodox, but options were limited and Steve needed to eat properly.

The food went quickly and Lila was at a loss as to what to do.

Steve had by then returned to the sofa, and was flipping through a book. Unable to decide what her next move should be, Lila sat next to Steve and asked,

"Whatcha reading?"

"It's an album- photographs."

"Oh! That old thing- I made that a few years back. Share it please!"

He obliged, placing the large album between them both, returning to the first page.

"Oh no! It's high school me- shield your eyes!"

Lila was pictured sitting with friends on a bleacher eating lunch, wearing a sweatshirt and jeans.

"You look like a normal kid."

"I was two years younger than my friends but yeah, I was less fashion oriented then."

The next few pages were photos of Lila and her family.

They paused at a picture of Lila modeling her graduation cap for the camera- Lila simply smiled and turned the page.

Steve even asked, "You okay?"

She smiled ruefully. "I'm getting closer every day. It's better now that you're back."

The next picture made them both laugh.  
Lila was by this point in college, sleeping on a sofa with a mustache drawn on her face, along with the word VIRGIN emblazoned on her forehead in big Sharpie black letters.

"That was the bar exam- I was up late cramming and of course, my roommate did that to me. I had to wear a headband to the actual test day, the word VIRGIN wouldn't wash off."

Steve didn't even look uncomfortable asking his next question.

"Does the sharpie word still apply?"

It was Lila's turn to look astounded and offended.

"I- what? That's kind of not your business Steve!"  
"You know that I'm exactly the same as I was 4 years ago- or 84 years ago technically. I was simply curious to see if you were in the same boat. Please don't be mad."

She considered his reasons, and figured that he genuinely was wondering. It must suck being approximately a century old and still be pure as a field of daisies.

Lila blushed for the second time that afternoon and took a deep breath.

"Yes."

"Huh?"  
"The word, you idiot. I am still. I've been working nonstop so I never really found time or a person for romance."

Steve thoughtfully rubbed his chin, and was about to speak when the intercom buzzed. Lila sprang up to answer it, desperate to get away from the awkwardest conversation she had ever held with anyone in her life.

"Who is it?"

"LILA ISS MEE!"

Lila grinned in spite of her earlier humiliation and laughingly asked,

"Who is me, silly?"

A childish shriek announced the presence of the one… the only…

"I AM MARIA DODO HEAD. YOU KNOW ISS ME. DADDY BROUGHT ME BUT MOMMY DOESN'T KNOW WE ARE HERE."

A rustling sound interfered with the childish babble and Lila took pity on her guests, opening the door to a rumpled Tony Stark holding onto a very wiggly little 3 ½ year old.

**Okay I'm done for the night.**

**I will continue tomorrow **


	18. Friends with Breakfast

**MARIA TIME. I WAS TOO SLEEPY TO WRITE HER ALL CAPS ENERGETIC TODDLER SPEAK. BUT I'M AWAKE NOW.**

_Steve POV:_

He hadn't expected to feel actual joy at seeing Tony Stark standing in his new doorway; then again, he hadn't expected him to be the father o year old daughter either.

Things had changed for Tony while Steve was gone. His hair was slightly grayer, and it was short instead of being styled with fancy hair products. The clothes were much the same, but Steve figured that he might not suit up as Iron Man as much as he may have before the child- fatherhood had clearly altered Tony Stark; it practically resonated from his presence that he was committed to the little girl before him.

It made Steve jealous, something he shoved aside as he stood to give Tony a staid handshake- only to be rejected in lieu of a very tight and overtly long hug.

Lila stayed aside, holding Maria as she watched the two men reunited.

Tony broke the hug, seeming composed despite the emotional nature of the hug, and spoke first.

"I missed you very much Rip Van Winkle. I'm also suddenly pissed off to see that you've aged not one bit in the past 4 years- I really should put Stark scientists on recreating that serum- in a humane manner of course, Lila."

Steve smiled, pleased despite himself at the sound of his old friend's mindless blathering.

"I am very glad to see you too, Tony. Fatherhood suits you."

He took the jealousy out of his voice as best as he could, but even Tony was perceptive enough to catch the tiniest hint of longing and sorrow in his former leader's voice.

"Wanna meet the brat?"

Lila took this as her cue to bring Maria to the center of the living room, handing her to her father, only to find her attempt rebuffed by the little girl.

"NO! Lila, I wanna stay with you! You have a softer chest than Daddy!" Maria was smiling and animatedly bopping up and down with each word she uttered.

Lila laughed harder than she'd intended to, causing Maria to complain about too much jostling. Steve was struck at how different Lila looked around little kids- she was a natural at playing with them!

He had to tune back in from his thoughts to hear Lila exclaim "I'm glad someone appreciates my assets, besides my stock broker of course!"

Tony laughed at the awful joke, and shook his head.

"She takes after Pepper obviously. I have no idea where else she could have gotten such a passion for female body parts, particularly at so young an age."

Steve rolled his eyes, and decided it was high time to introduce himself to the little lady.

He stood before Lila and stuck out his hand, saying,

"My name is Steve. I'm a friend of Lila and your Daddy's. What's your name?"

Maria gazed up at the taller man, clearly intimidated by how big he was in comparison to the smaller woman holding her.

Something must have occurred to the toddler because she turned her head to whisper directly into Lila's ear.

"Is that so? Oh, Maria, that's not nice. Yes he's bigger than your Daddy- it's okay, I feel that way too."

The little girl turned her head and intently gazed at Steve, making him uncomfortable.

"Are you a super hero too?"

Lila smiled at the question. Steve wasn't sure what his answer was, so Tony stepped in.

"Maria honey, he is. His superpower is actually quite ingenious- look at those baby blues. His eyes are capable of making any female swoon onto the ground, so he comes in handy during a Macy's Sale. Also, he's very strong and good and nice."

Maria's eyes grew large- she seemed to be processing something.

Finally, she decided on what her first words to Steve were going to be.

"You're pretty."

Tony guffawed and Lila smiled even harder than before.

Steve wasn't sure how to process the compliment, but took it graciously.

"Thank you Miss. You're quite pretty as well. Actually, I'd like it maybe we could be friends."  
"Friends? Daddy says the best kind of friends have benefiss."

Tony immediately shook his head and said, "No, no silly. I said the best kind of friends have breakfast- like pancakes!"

The little girl ignored her father and held her arms out at Steve- he hadn't held a child since his dancing days back before the deep freeze.

She was small for her age, and she smelled like soft baby shampoo and cookies. Tony had clearly dressed her, as she wore a tiny pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a skull of some kind on it. Still, with her flyaway dark hair and big blue eyes, Maria was a beauty, sure to cause Tony a lot of fatherly heartache.

Steve felt more at peace holding her- she was the perfect fit, and he realized with a start that one day, he might want a family- a wife, kids.  
Ignoring his life-altering revelations, Steve chose to talk to the toddler, sitting down on the sofa and discussing her favorite color with her quite seriously.

_Lila POV:  
_It wasn't fair.

Lots of things were unfair, to be sure, but some things just won as the most unfair shit to ever occur.

For example, it was unfair to Pepper for Tony to bring Maria to meet Steve before she got back from her Washington DC business trip- There would be hell to pay at the Stark residence that evening.

Another example was of how damn natural Steve looked holding Maria. He didn't need to ask how to hold a relatively small toddler in his giant muscular arms; he was a pro.

It also didn't help how unfair it was that he managed to look so completely at ease with the girl- as if he'd been hanging out with her forever. Maria seemed to make him comfortable, Lila noted, and decided that frequent playdates would need arranging soon.

At that time Tony received an important call from some investor or another, and stepped to the hall.

Then Steve did something that was probably instinctual- fatherly nature ingrained within man or something.

He took the little flower scrunchie from around Maria's chubby wrist, and finger combed her duck-fluff hair into a rather neat ponytail for a man.

It was adorable- his hands were so much bigger than hers, and Lila wanted to melt into a puddle of goo.

She then realized that Steve was talking to her, and snapped out of it- there was never a way for anything like what she was imagining to ever happen-

"What did you say? Sorry, I was somewhere else in my mind."  
Steve smiled, and repeated himself.  
"I was saying, maybe sometime we could go play in the pool with Maria- she kindly invited me along to her next swim whenever that may be. It would be gentle enough for my medical requirements, right?"

Lila absently nodded, still dreamily thinking of bouncing blonde babies held by strong, tanned arms.

Steve returned his attentions to Maria, who was showing him some kind of pocket pet toy.

Tony of course was the one to break her out of her spell.

"Lila, an investor wants to talk with you about something important!"

It was actually quite possible that an investor had wanted to discuss some previous transaction with Lila- she had been head of that for some time.

However, when she stepped into the hall, Tony's phone was in his pocket.

"You like him." Tony immediately cut to the chase.

"No… I just missed him after four whole years."

She sounded feebleminded and useless as she explained that they were just two lost souls who had helped each other, only to be torn apart by cruel fate- nothing more, nothing less.

Tony clucked his tongue as he snarkily retorted,

"I never took you as the type to ignore the obvious."

"I am not that type- I just…"  
"Tell me, Lila. This is of course a secret, I just care about both of you and want Steve to get better as soon as possible. If you have feelings for him, you need to tell him. Otherwise, you're going to always feel disappointed with being "just friends"- and it won't be his fault because he doesn't know you LIKE him."

Lila shushed him and sighed.

"I do like him- a lot. It used to be this stupid schoolgirl crush, like I have a crush on Ryan Gosling and Will Smith- but then he was gone and it became a kind of hero worship. It's actually how I felt about Captain America before I knew him in real life. And now, he's back, and the girl crush has faded… I thought I might have lingering romantic notions at most, when he returned, but I guess I got older and my crush evolved too. It's almost like love- but it's baseless."

Tony looked very smug as he said,

"I think it's not as onesided as you believe. Speaking as someone who ignored real feelings to their face for almost 7 years- with Pepper, if you didn't guess- it's better to put yourself out there for 20 seconds of insane bravery, instead of torturing yourself for years on end."

"Tony, what you said was actually smart- the second half that is. How do you know that it's not one-sided, though?"

"Three reasons mainly. First, he wanted you as his "person" to take care of him this second time. It means he trusts you and knows you can do the job. That's half of any romance, trust. Second, he's letting you take care of him- Steve's not prideful usually, but his self-sufficiency is something he prides himself upon. Now he's vulnerable, and normally no one would get to see that side- no one but you in this case because you're with him all the time."

"And what else? Those are also great bases for friendship."

Tony smiled, and said "You poor, naïve little girl. You may be 22 but you know nothing of love. Or dating either. What I mean is that you don't see the way he watches you- when you walk, his eyes follow even the back of you, and not just your ass. That's love. He's also infinitely less annoying, and I thank you for that entirely."

Lila looked disbelieving and shook her head. "I don't think it's that simple; I'm going back inside. Let me know if your keen instincts tell you anything else, Sherlock Holmes."

_Steve POV: _

He could hear what they were saying. As always, they had forgotten his SUPER hearing which was improved by the serum- he could hear things most people couldn't from a mile away.

Maria had been distracting him with her little Neopet thingy- the "pet" seemed to be some kind of dragon cat, and Maria was currently punishing it by not feeding it. Steve had no idea what she was talking about, but the girl was a precious specimen, and he enjoyed her prattling.  
When he heard Lila first deny having feelings for him, he was stricken. It was what he expected, even what he wanted, but it still stung.

Then he heard Tony mumbling- the man never did enunciate his words- and Steve was shocked to hear him giving Lila real advice.

Finally, he was shocked at Lila's confession of some kind of romantic emotions for him- was it love?

Steve felt warm inside, like a candle had been lit on a cold winter's night.

He figured that he was jumping the gun- Lila was clearly in denial and probably very unsure of her emotions. Hell, he had no way of knowing how he felt about her either.

Still, Steve had learned something about life over the past century or so.

Love, and similar facsimiles, rarely came along.

Usually one had to seek it out- and oftentimes, failed to succeed as a result.

A potential relationship was sitting right next to his room- who was he to ignore his feelings in favor of bottling them up as always?

With a jolt, Steve remembered a line from that song Lila had showed him so many years ago-

_Life's too short to even care at all_.

How fitting. With that thought, Steve resolved to try to understand his conflicting feelings for the little brunette out in the hall.

**Same Day, 8 PM.**

_Lila POV:_

She didn't know what had come over Steve.  
After Tony and Maria left for her ballet class, Steve had asked her if she'd make reservations at a nice restaurant. Lila had protested, citing his need for soft food only. He reassured her with a promise to eat whatever she ordered for him- he just really wanted to get out into the real world for a little while.

Lila knew it was actually a good sign on his part- he knew that after 4 years the public cared less about the lost hero Captain America, and so the dinner would be relatively undisturbed.

Still, the idea of going to a nice eatery with him was nerve wracking.

She couldn't even decide what to wear. Steve had specifically requested someplace nice- claiming that four years of liquid diet was making him miss real food.

Lila couldn't refuse a request as logical and simple as that.

She also couldn't decide on what to wear- a dress was about as far as her decision making could take her at that point.

Critically eyeing her closet, Lila elected to take a shower and do her hair before deciding.

_Steve POV:_

He was confident that a dinner out would show him how he felt for Lila- he'd hardly been anywhere public since his first great awakening, and felt this would be an excellent test.

Steve felt stronger than he had for the past couple of days, less fatigued and achy.

After putting on one of the dinner jackets from the SHIELD supplied wardrobe stocked full of clothing his size, he spritzed some cologne on, going out to the living room to wait for his date.

Not that she knew it was a date. All she thought was that it was a simple whim of his to go out to eat.

Ten minutes turned into a half hour, and their reservation was soon. Steve knocked on Lila's door, asking "Are you alright in there? We'll be late if we wait ten more minutes to leave."

"I'm fine! Just had trouble deciding what to wear, be right out!"

Steve went back to the couch and sat back down, only to stand up _again _when Lila exited her bedroom.

"How do I look?"  
Steve was a little bit stunned; she'd gotten gorgeous in four years- her eyes were huge and framed in lush lashes and her lips were scarlet and kissable and her hair was soft and wavy and he wanted _her._

"Beautiful. Like a real classy lady."

The dress was beautiful too. It was a sleeveless black silk cocktail dress, with the ends fading into white layers of tulle. She had on another pair of mile-high heels, shiny black in color.  
Steve took her arm and led her out of the apartment to the waiting car.

His heart was pounding- something about all this- the dress, the jacket, dinner- felt _right._

**Okay I am getting antsy, I JUST WANT TO SHOVE THEM TOGETHER IMMEDIATELY.**

**Also if you want to see my idea for Lila's outfit, check this link out!**

** cgi/set?id=52103117**

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Je vois le Vie en Rose

**Sorry I was awol for a couple of days, I got a babysitting job for a couple of weeks and I had to wake up at normal human being hours. :C**

**Anyways, it's dinner time!**

_Steve POV:_

Something about the dinner wasn't right. The restaurant itself was gorgeous- Lila had booked them at some amazing Italian bistro, which had what she described as ravioli so soft he wouldn't have to chew it.

The food was very good, and Steve enjoyed the taste of white wine for the first time in years- though he was unable to get drunk, there was a very pleasant buzz which accompanied alcohol for him. It made him less tightly coiled; his mind was clear, but he felt more relaxed.

Lila was being a wonderful dinner date; through the aperitifs, she maintained a comfortable conversation about the changes Steve had missed in the past 4 years.

Despite all that and more, Steve couldn't concentrate on what must have been the most perfect first date in the entire history of first dates-

Belatedly he realized that his problem lay in Lila's ignorance of the fact that this was meant to be a first date- and that he was being dishonest.

She didn't know that _he _knew about her feelings for him, or that he held some form of the same feelings for her as well.

The more he tried to pay the niggling doubts no mind, the harder it became for him to enjoy his dinner.

It finally came to a head when Lila ordered Spumoni ice cream for her dessert, and the waiter had to repeatedly request for Steve's attention.

"Steve! What's the matter with you? You've been distant and half-asleep this whole meal- you're the one who wanted to go out!" She was obviously angry, and Steve felt like an asshole for not realizing that someone as perceptive as Lila would immediately notice any irregular behavior on his part.

"See! Even now, Steve, you're not all here. You've barely eaten, hardly spoken to me since we got here, and that stunt with the waiter really was embarrassing!"

Lila's voice had raised slightly, enough for her to visibly stop herself and take a deep breath. She took a moment to think, and calm down, and then she asked, "Hon, what's really the matter?" Her voice was soft, and gentle, and it made Steve feel like he was the worst man on the face of the planet.

His response to her sweet question was simple.

"You."

_Lila POV:_

Men were confusing as fuck, Lila thought to herself.

There was literally no reason for Steve to not be having a good time that night- she had picked an old-timey restaurant with a cozy ambience and a simple menu. Not only that but she was wearing her annoyingly high black patent leather heels which made her legs look like Miranda Kerr's.

It was all for his sake, and he couldn't see that- by dessert she was quite justifiably upset by his behavior. And then she yelled and she remembered with a jolt that, "_Oh yeah, he just got out of captivity- maybe he's having a flashback, or he's upset by something- I'm supposed to support him."_

That was enough to force her to calm down and cut her tirade short, asking instead what the matter was really.

And then he blew her away with one word; it made zero sense to her.

His mouth was still moving so she started listening again.

"…so I didn't mean to, but Maria was busy playing her pet game, and I was able to hear you and Tony talking in the hallway."

Lila heard **that.**

"How on earth could you- oh. Superhuman Steve hearing?"

Steve nodded sadly.

And then Lila realized what Steve had heard that afternoon- and she began to freak out. Looking steadfastly at her melting ice cream, Lila began to explain- sort of- what she only sort of understood to be her feelings.

"Wait- no. That was private and completely not something I wanted you to hear because as usual the timing of my emotions suck balls- pardon my language, but this is not okay. I don't want to ruin your recovery because I'm feeling stupidly sentimental and unsure of everything- please just forget it Steve. I'm so so sorry, I know that this is the last thing you really need in your life."  
Somehow Lila fit that into one breath, and as she finished she took a big gulp of her by then warm wine.

She finally looked up, only to see Steve smiling, really smiling.

"What's so funny!" She asked indignantly.

Again Steve replied, "You."

"Why the fuck am I hilarious, Steve? I bared my soul to someone else, about you, only to find out that you heard every damn word- Why is your response to smile?"

He smiled again before adopting a more solemn face, clearing his throat before speaking.

"When I first saw you on the helicarrier yesterday, I felt relief. Real, honest relief. The thing is, I'm not good with new people, which isn't convenient considering the fact that everyone I used to know died of old age about a decade back. Besides the basic happiness that you were going to be taking care of me, I also felt a sort of comfort- you're the one person on earth I have a sort of relationship with. And that night, when you slept next to my bed, I realized that while I was… taken by the terrorists, I was always dreaming. I'd be dancing with a girl, and her hair would be dark, and it wasn't until I saw you sleeping next me that I realized that it was you in my dreams- I remembered the smell of your shampoo even subconsciously."

Lila's mouth was hanging open by then, in some kind of shock.

"Are you okay, Lila? Should I keep going?"

She nodded vigorously, impatient to hear more.

"Well, when Tony tricked you into talking about your feelings for… I mean, about me, I felt something too. It was a kind of warmth, I suppose- like you just swallowed cocoa and so your heart feels toasty immediately afterwards- it made me think that this is how I felt with Peggy. Not the weird replacement love thing I had nightmares over- it was how I felt before I slept the first time- anticipation, excitement. Love, but too soon to say it out loud. I feel all those things. And I don't know how to talk about them, and I felt awful about lying to you and making you bring me here so I could take you on a secret first date. It was my selfish way of figuring out _my _emotions, but instead I just hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, and I hope you can forgive me."

Lila's mouth was shut by then, but her eyes were wide open, moisture brimming at their edges.

"Lila, are you okay?"

She nodded yes again- it was a night of shared confusion and understanding.

Her mouth opened for a moment, only for her to promptly shut it. At Steve's nod she took a deep breath, and gently reached across the table to hold his hand in her own.

"I- I am shocked. I never thought that you'd care after all those years- my main goal while you were gone was to try and get over you, and I honestly had thought I'd succeeded, until you returned. Also, don't sell yourself short- what you just said made **so **much sense- it put into words a lot of what I was thinking."

_Steve POV_

It felt like getting hit with a brick- she felt the same.

There was no confusion, _she felt the same._

The sleepless nights she had endured had included daydreams of a moment like this- and by the grace of god his dreams had been the same. This was the stuff of fairytales- a twisted one for sure, but there was something magical about its very nature.

Still, the cautious Captain Rogers in him had to ask.

"If what we both just said- if it's the same exact feeling we both share- do you want to try and do something about it? Is this going to go somewhere?"

She grinned widely at his halting sentences, and completely silenced him and his doubts by fleetingly brushing her foot against his leg.

And instant desire aside, Steve realized that yes, she wanted to be whatever they were together, as a couple.

It felt so right.

It felt right to squeeze her hand. It felt right to ask if they could take a walk so they could talk-

Her smile made his heart and head spin idiotically at her approval of his plan.

They strolled by a park in the moonlight, her shoes in her left hand and Steve's hand in the other. It felt amazing to glance down and see someone who actually cared about him, next to him, enjoying his company.

It was also thrilling to drape his jacket over her shoulders when she unconsciously shivered in the wind.  
-

They talked about everything- when she first started to feel more strongly for him during his captivity- when he first remembered his recurring dreams about her.

They talked about his health, mental and physical.

They both wondered what Fury would say if he knew that they both had basically succumbed to their mutual affection and had decided to embark on a relationship of some sort.

And when Lila complained about her aching feet on the elevator up to their penthouse, Steve swept her off her feet, much to her chagrin. He actually picked her up, bridal style, and she scolded him for his reckless risking of his health, and her concern made him want to kiss her.

But they both knew that this was just the beginning of…

Something.  
Something unsure, unsteady, and newborn.

Something vulnerable.

Neither was willing to risk messing it up for a moment's pleasure;

So he did not kiss her when her face right next to his as he held her.

She did not kiss him when she finally got him to let her down and she put her shoes back on, making her closer to Steve's height and mouth.

Neither kissed the other, despite the facts that Lila smelled like heaven to Steve and Steve's hair looked like it would be baby soft to the touch.

Instead, both hugged the other good night, saying what they couldn't through a kiss or words.

As they both went to their respective rooms, the giddiness faded away to a mild panic.

What if they ruined it?

Lila hoped she wouldn't be too clingy and attach herself to Steve's hip-

Steve hoped he wouldn't prove too needy in his recovery and scare her away-

And then they both were giddy again because they had done something a little bit reckless for the first time in a long time, and they fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

Somewhere in Stark Tower, Tony was being beaten with a pillow by a very angry Pepper Potts- and unbeknownst to them both, their daughter Maria spoke to a quiet Russian voice, something she in her childish sleep perceived as a friend of Jarvis.

Neither parent could have fathomed the true nature of what was speaking to their only daughter.

Neither Steve nor Lila could have predicted that that simple confession of love would be the best moment of their lives to date.

There was a wind wailing that night, slamming against buildings and blowing down walls.

It carried change on its back, and the fates of Steve and Lila on it as well.

**Okay so I know this is shorter than usual but I am exhausted and I feel anymore would just be decadent fluffy writing for me.**

**3 smooches to reviewers!**


	20. The Fog Has Lifted

**DA DA DA They are a couple! I promised myself I wouldn't succumb and do this BUT I DID ANYWAYS and it is all thanks to you wonderful honeys! **

**THANK YOU ALL KINDLY. Xoxo Finnsgirl994**

_Lila POV:_

7: 44 AM. The alarm was about to go off and blare talk radio shows until she woke up-

But that morning, she was already up and showered. And her hair was dried. And her barely-there make up was applied. And she was in her cutest pajamas- the lavender capris with the matching silky tee shirt.

Lila Amin had gone to sleep with a very stupid grin on her face, and she woke up the next morning even happier. Her dreams had been sweet, of dancing and music and a warm pair of arms holding her tight.

Thus, her morning began like a scene from Snow White- she cooked a breakfast fit for a king- soft boiled eggs, sausage, and porridge- and arranged fresh flowers from the terrace her swanky new penthouse apartment apparently had.

The aroma of brewing coffee was wafting through the air when Steve strolled in, looking…

_Stunning._

Lila nearly spilled her glass of orange juice when she saw the man of her dreams wearing a sleeveless wife beater with baggy blue pajama bottoms. His arms were absolutely breathtaking- she could literally feel her mouth salivating from the desire to touch them.

"Good morning Lila. How'd you sleep?" His easygoing tone woke her up from her lustful stupor and prompted her to smile and respond.

"I slept very, _very _well. Something about last night left me in a good mood- I can't remember for the life of me what that could have been." Her voice was light and playful, and her words were making his eyes twinkle as he sat down before his breakfast feast. She served him some coffee while he buttered toast for the two of them.

After forking some sausage onto his plate, Steve looked at Lila and seriously asked,

"Last night was real, right? It wasn't me dreaming, or imagining something?"

"I'm asking myself the same thing. It's kind of perfect- I'm here with you all the time for my job, but it's not like a job at all. It's my life, and it's wonderful."

Steve gently bumped his shoulder against hers, only to mistake his strength and push her off her chair.

"Lila, are you okay? Oh my god I am SO SORRY!"

She lay on the ground for a moment, face down, shaking.

"Lila? Are you- hurt?"  
She shook her head and flipped to her back like an agile purple turtle, and Steve immediately deflated with relief.  
Her shaking was from giggles- the contagious kind, for that matter.  
Lila caught her breath long enough to choke out a few words-

"I… cannot believe- I'm dating a guy who doesn't… know… his own strength! It's like… something… from… a Twilight movie!"  
Steve did not understand why she was so amused but he could see the humor in the situation- and it reminded him that if they ever got physical in… that way, he'd have to watch it.

They ate the rest of their breakfast in peace, chatting and smiling more than most people would before 9 AM.

Afterwards, it was time for Steve's first workout since his awakening. Lila took him to the gym room and quickly got them situated on some treadmills- he was at a steady jog, she at a slower shuffle.  
"Steve, I know you're not in top form after all that sleeping, but damn if you aren't fitter than the last time I saw you."

He scoffed, but she insisted. "I mean it! Your guns are smoking- I mean, your biceps look amazing, and yes I will be staring at them more often. Also, you're faster than me, though I blame my midget sized legs for that. You'll be back in shape so soon, I promise."

Lila's enthusiasm for his arms made his heart do that stupid flippy thing, and he nearly tripped while completing his first mile in 6 minutes.

He was about to continue when Lila stopped her run and handed him a water bottle.

"Slow down Steve!" she yelled over the drone of the running machine.

"Why? I'm fine at this pace!"  
"No you aren't- even with the body of a god, you still need rest. It's time for some gentle stretches, to help ease the tension in your muscles."

Even before she finished her sentence, Steve could suddenly feel how exhausted and spent he was from running- and it had only been one mile!

"Alright Mother. It's time for your fancy voodoo yoga stretches." He gave her a tired mock salute as he stepped off from his treadmill to accept the water bottle from his girlfriend, a word which by the way was enough to make his stupid smile make an appearance.

In the open space of the living room, Lila rolled out two yoga mats. She didn't actually plan on making Steve do real yoga, just basic toe touching and leg stretching activities- enough to make his muscles wake up from their dormancy.

"Come on Grandpa, I'm ready."

Steve entered the room, laughing as she gestured for him to remove his running shoes and to sit next to her on a mat, criss-cross apple sauce.

"Okay, Steve. Today we're just going to do some basic stretching and reaching- I know you're fit, but you need to become more limber and flexible- stiffness is the nemesis of all athletes, and in your case, recently returned Superheroes."

Her words made him remember that he probably had to start working for SHIELD again at some point, but he pushed it away in favor of crossing his legs and stretching his arms before him, just like his girl.  
And he did try at first, to stretch and pull and flex himself into being comfortable, but then he noticed something:

It was pretty natural for him to become distracted by the sight of a very pretty, sweaty Lila, legs spread before her and arms following, exposing her narrow back and waist, the dip of her stomach, the curves of her chest. He felt his face flush and he made a big deal of drinking water, in order to hide his reddening face.

Lila seemed oblivious, and continued to do her positions, eventually leaving him behind for her more complex yoga positions.

The sight of her in yoga pants and an old tee shirt shouldn't have made him as aroused as he was- and yet, he could feel himself growing internally warmer by the second.

Finally, she quit, straightening up and bowing.

At his puzzled expression, Lila smiled, and said, "It's customary for a performer to bow after a particularly passionate viewing. Did you enjoy the show?"

_Lila POV:_

Pervy Steve was adorable, because she could immediately sense his surreptitious glances. At first she was worried about him not getting any exercise, but then she realized that this was time for her to be less of a rehab counselor and more of a girlfriend. Her intentions were for once not to clear her mind- she wanted to instead put on a show for her man.

That was why she did the sluttiest yoga of her life- arching her back dramatically, sticking out her ass and chest like there was no tomorrow.

It felt kind of mean to tease Steve, but she figured that it wouldn't hurt for him to be a little hot and bothered by her- and that was enough to make her inner goddess scream in joy- a hot, generous, kind man was attracted to a dumpy little freak like her!

Best of all, now that exercise hour was over, it was shower time… and that meant Lila could sit outside of the tub her very sexy boyfriend would be showering in.

It was like god was making up for her shitty teenage years with this relationship-thingy.

Perfect.

And as she rolled her mats up, she called out to Steve who was chugging water in the kitchen.

"Honey? You stink, it's shower time."

He choked on his drink, clearly recalling the agreement they had made the day before.

_Steve POV:_

Damn. It. All.

Lila was going to kill him, slowly and surely using her sexual yoga and her sweet voice- and then her, getting to sit on the toilet while he showered?

It was almost unbearable to imagine, but he didn't want her to know that. He put on a cocky tone and replied,

"I'm coming Lila, let me just safely get in the tub. I can't have you defiling my purity, so no peeking, got it?"

And then it was Lila who was choking at Steve's joke-

_He was loosening up! _And so Steve was able to be the one who was composed while Lila looked like a red tomato from laughing.

Perfect. But there was still the matter of her witnessing him shower.

Still, there were tough moments like this in life- in the army for instance. When doing the right thing was going to be embarrassing no matter what, Steve made a point to get through it without freaking out.

Today was going to test him immensely, although he was actually excited to see- no, hear Lila's reaction.

He went to his bathroom, and hooked a clean towel to the hook next to his tub, grabbing his loofa scrubber before quickly stripping and putting the clothes in the hamper- he was neat after all that soldier life- and stepping into the shower, thankful for the completely opaque and un-see through black shower curtain.

"Lila, I'm ready!"

_Lila POV:_

The shower was much more kosher than she'd imagined- somehow, a slow toweling strip tease fantasy had formed in her mind.

He had talked while he showered, discussing his desire to see a good movie that day.

It was pleasant idle chatter, but Lila was growing uncomfortable warm in the steamy bathroom. Her man took long showers, and she wanted nothing more than to grab him and kiss him until he was senseless. The idea of him bathing was sensual- the slide of suds across the body made a noise that made her shudder a little. Her palms grew moist at the fragrance of his body wash filling the small room, his clean soap and shampoo smell.

He was finally done after 20 minutes, and Lila wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed.

"I'm going to step out, okay Steve? Be careful sweetheart."

Lila ran all the way to the living room, sitting on the sofa, crossing her legs, and breathing hard.

She didn't think that something like a shower was going to make her react so… physically. Something about being so close in proximity to Steve right then was making her feel very… tingly.

Lila remained in her position until Steve came back out and sat beside her, innocently asking why she hadn't showered.

What happened next was utterly predictable for a romantic comedy and utterly unpredictable for Lila Amin.  
She inhaled his fresh clean smell one more time- she thought about answering his query and running to take care of herself in the shower-

But then he scrunched his face at her silence and her insides melted and she grabbed his head by the hair, closing the distance between them with a kiss that made her see stars and stripes.

_Perfect._

_Steve POV:_

Sometimes in war you have to expect the unexpected- hell, that was all the time in the case of Steve's personal life.

He'd expected Lila to make him eat a banana or something, to regain his strength after that tantalizing shower. Steve had made sure to keep up a carefree banter, doing his best to minimize anything which could be inappropriately misunderstood…

And it seemed he had failed, because his sort of girlfriend of less than 24 hours was passionately pressing her lips to his own, making his heart stop and start simultaneously as fireworks exploded in his lower navel and his eyes shut to savor the moment.

It must have lasted for 5 seconds only, but Lila's mouth had made time slow for him.

She pulled away first, shyly looking up at him and not speaking.

Steve could sense her embarrassment, but for once could not make sense of it. He had wanted this so badly, and it was a perfect moment for them both- he had to show her that.

"Lila, honey. You alright?"

Her nod prompted him to get a better handle on his erratic breathing, and he continued.

"I want you to know that this means something to me- not just physically as my first real kiss but as a life event. This is a memory I'll want to pull out and recall decades from now- you know how deeply I feel for you. Don't ever regret doing this, because I'm eternally in debt to you for it."

Steve had obviously said the right thing because Lila flung her arms around him and held tight, whispering in his ear,

"You're right. This is a forever and ever moment for me too- and by the way, you taste _so _good. I want more, honestly."

She remained in the embrace, cuddling her face into his neck.

He knew what she meant- but he also knew that neither of them wanted to ruin their "thing" with premature sex- the time would come, and Steve was willing to bet that the wait would be very much worth it.

Still, another kiss couldn't hurt. Steve was glad that Lila like his taste, because he loved hers- lightly minty, but still traced with hints of toast and coffee- like a real live human being.

With that in mind, Steve gently pulled her from his arms, and leaned forward to touch his lips to hers once more.

And then again. And then once more.

Later, when Lila had caught her breath, she put on the movie Tangled for Steve while she made turkey sandwiches for their much delayed lunch. Her mouth felt swollen from kisses, and it was a pleasant sensation to experience.

The film captivated Steve, considering how advanced Disney movies had become, plus considering how Steve was a little like Rapunzel- blonde, gorgeously brave and sweet, but naïve.

And that made Lila picture herself as a cross-dressing Flynn Rider, and her heart fluttered- they were like a real life Disney Couple, but without most of the sexism!

And then the song "I See the Light" began, and the boat scene filled the screen, and Steve and Lila looked at one another with what they both finally knew to be love, and they held hands and snuggled and kissed like any other couple.

It was a magic day.

And then, around 9 when Lila could feel her bones popping from exhaustion, Pepper called, frantically asking if Lila would come over.

And when she asked why, Pepper burst into tears, and Jarvis came on the phone, to explain that Miss. Maria had been missing for 2.7 hours, and that Mr. Stark was blasting apart New York looking for his baby.  
Steve caught Lila's phone as she dropped it, and they both ran to the elevator as Lila called Fury- like hell SHIELD wasn't going to help her friends- her _**family**_ get Maria back. They owed her.

And Steve looked like he couldn't believe it and as Lila sat in the cab next to him, her tears fell slowly. She let them, because as soon as she entered Stark Tower she planned on setting up for battle- she was finding her little goddaughter- and if anything or anyone came in her fucking way, she was going to kick ass and take names.

And for one selfish moment, Lila remembered how happy she had been 15 minutes ago, how she was slightly aroused and buzzed from too many kisses.

That was behind them for the time being, but Lila made a point to put her hand on Steve's knee and squeezed, to reassure him as well as herself.

It was madness, and Lila could feel the familiar sense of helpless chaos slip over her.

Things were back to normal.

**FIRST- HAPPY 4****th**** of JULY! I LOVE AMERICA because we got Captain Rogers from it!**

**And thank you all my readers, this got only a smidge racy but expect more! I'll keep y'all updated. Also, for those pissed about Maria, everyone knows that a traumatic experience only makes the sex hotter. JK JK JK it'll be hot either way but this story was getting too happy for my liking.**

**Love to all!**


	21. In the Shadow of Your Heart

**Okay, I'm back! Prepare for sad feelings.**

_Steve POV:_

Stark Tower was lit brighter than usual that night- all of the employees were being held for questioning by SHIELD agents, courtesy of Lila's threatening car-ride call to Director Fury.

The instant Steve and Lila had exited the elevator to the top floor, Pepper had _flown _into Lila's arms, and knocked her over. She then saw Steve, and her tearstained face crumpled.

"Oh, Steve! I'm so glad to see you- the circumstances couldn't be worse but I'm glad to see you!"

Lila took Pepper to a sofa and gently asked, "Where's Tony?"

"Suited up, running surveillance scans with Jarvis and flying around the city. He's meant to call in about 4 minutes with an update, so that'll be a start for you, right Lila?"

She nodded, and swiftly got up and strode to a computer terminal, asking Jarvis to "pull up all surveillance tapes from the past 48 hours, specifically ones where Maria was pictured."

Instantaneously, the wall lit up with numerous videos, making Steve's eyes cross, but Lila seemed pleased at the sheer number of images moving across the wall.  
Steve turned at the sound of a sniffle, and saw Pepper delicately wiping her nose with her sleeve.

They made eye contact, and she looked up at him expectantly for him to say something.

Of course, what came out made things worse.

"Pepper, I'm really sorry about this. I just met Maria yesterday and she was amazing-"  
He stopped when Pepper burst into fresh tears at the thought of her daughter visiting him.

Lila's voice interrupted Steve beating himself up.

"Guys, I got something."

She pointed to a surveillance tape of Maria in her "big girl bed", lying motionless and peacefully on her bed. The time showed as 9:30 PM, and Steve could see nothing wrong with the video before him. She then fast forwarded the scene 4 hours ahead, showing zero movement on Maria's part.

"Does that make sense? That a toddler won't even turn over in her sleep once? I've babysat Maria, she's a light sleeper. I listened to the audio of this, there were least a couple of loud gales of wind blowing in one 30 minute interval. Had this been normal, we'd have had Maria running to Mommy and Daddy immediately."

"So what's not normal about this?" Steve asked, getting a slightly upset feeling in his stomach at the thought of a little girl wandering halls alone, unawares of dangers lurking around her.

Lila spoke while typing out commands to Jarvis on a special computer program, clicking at certain parts of the video images.

"This tape is tampered with- quite professionally- they made it so that the tape isn't simply looping the same footage; it's more so a synthetic image of Maria, recreated realistically, and dubbed over the original video footage. I have to do some digging, but since this is Stark Tower it can be done… Now!"

Pepper and Steve scooted close to the screen, as the program pulled up a new video of Maria, lying in her bed and whispering to another almost unintelligible voice.

Steve watched for a moment as Lila feverishly typed at the keyboard, muttering a series of random phrases to herself as she enlarged the image and amplified the volume settings so that they could hear the mystery speaker.

He suddenly asked- "Is whatever we hear in that tape- is that even a person? Or is it some technology thing- like Jarvis?"  
Lila replied,

"Most likely the latter. How anyone could get _into_ Stark Tower is insane, considering just how tight Tony's got security, especially on Maria's room."

She grinned when she managed to fix the video so the volume was louder.

Her grin faded immediately as Pepper and Steve crouched near her to listen.

The tape started with Maria gently snoring in her little bed- it was 2:31 AM at the time.

Lila forwarded about five minutes of sleeping ahead, stopping suddenly when a shadow of some kind flashed across the room, and stopped to hover over the space near the bed.

It remained motionless for a moment, and then began to vibrate, as if it was emanating pure energy. It reminded Steve of the waves of heat on the streets of NYC in the thick of August- visibly palpable and almost unbearable.

The thing stopped vibrating after a few moments, and then a crooning female noise came from the shadowy mass. It was no lullaby; Steve was downright frightened by the haunting, lilting foreign tune seemingly coming from nowhere.

As suddenly as the tuneless singing started, it ended. The mass shifted closer to Maria, and softly, it spoke.

"Wake up, little Stark. Come to the land of the living, waking, little babushka, darling. I am your friend, awaken for me."

The sound of the being's voice did make Maria stir awake, and the alert little girl sat up to face whatever it was that addressed her.

She wasted no time and asked, "Who are you?"

The dark thing replied in a smooth, lightly accented voice.

"I am a friend, my dearest. I know your Father very well; in fact, he doesn't know I'm here. This is a surprise visit; don't you love surprises?"

The little girl was immediately entranced by the calm voice in the night, and seemed ready to listen to whatever she had to say.

The dark mass was by then moving as if quivering, and Steve's heart shrank in fear of what he knew he was about to see.

"Maria, my little princess. Will you come have tea in my castle?"

The girl launched herself out of bed to grab something from her dresser, presumably to show her new "friend".

As quickly as Maria had gotten out of bed, the mass of dark energy somehow encased her in itself and then transported itself out of thin air, vanishing.

"WHAT?" Lila's astounded voice echoed the thoughts in Pepper and Steve's minds, as she flung the mouse away from her in horror.

Pepper shakily sat down on a nearby chair, covering her face with her hands and sobbing.

Steve was torn between wanting to comfort the mother falling apart in front of his eyes and his lover who was currently baffled by the computer screen before her.

He settled for laying a soft hand on Pepper's shoulder while verbally calming his girlfriend down.

"Lila, think logically. That thing- a she, we think, has an accent of Russian origins. I recognize it for some reason. Anyways, that dark mass thing moved jerkily"- "Like it was lagging!" Lila exclaimed, excited for some type of reasoning she could work with.

Steve didn't understand it himself, but was glad to see Lila tapping at the computer and ordering Jarvis to run scans for residual traces of technology.

Pepper had by then composed herself enough to pick up her phone to find 3 missed calls from Tony's suit.

"Damn it! I didn't answer the phone, and Tony _hates _it if I don't, because I always answer his calls except for when I went into labor and that was how he knew how I went into labor and oh God, how do I cope with an angry husband right now?"

"He'll understand that you were preoccupied just this once."

_Lila POV_

Tony Stark's presence had never been more welcome. The sound of his voice immediately made Pepper deflate with some of her worry going away. Iron Man stood in his landing pad, currently mid-dismantling of his suit. Tony's face was freed from its metal mask, revealing a red eyed, panicked look which made him look 5 years older.

Pepper ran to her husband and wrapped her arms around his shiny casing, whispering "I'm glad you're safe at least. Anything in the city?"

"Nothing. I got some SHIELD intel, while in the air. I wasn't sure how they found out"- "It was me, Tony. Sorry, but I couldn't stand by without getting the government to use some of its clout for one its superheroes for once. Anyways, sorry to interrupt, but watch this NOW."

Lila cut in unapologetically, and Jarvis immediately pulled up the video of Maria in mid-air, just as his creator liked it.

Pepper grasped his hand as he watched with shock the dark mass singing to his slumbering baby. Steve had by then gravitated towards his only real male friend, but after seeing the fearful manic look on Tony's face, let the couple alone and returned next to Lila who was still on the computer, trying to unearth some kind of remaining traces of whatever had visited the littlest Stark's room that night.

As something loaded onscreen, Lila let herself feel her emotions for just a moment. The sudden sorrow that swept through her shocked her with its intensity and her first tears of the night fell from her eyes. Suddenly, she felt a warm pressure on top of her head, and she looked up to see Steve kissing her hair, and wrapping his arms around her.

She was able to draw strength from her boyfriend's embrace, and felt slightly less awful when the new results showed that there was indeed some kind of energy trace. While she had managed to unearth some of this on her own, anything further would surpass Lila's limited technological capabilities, so she called out across the room,

"Tony, can you come decipher this? I think we've got something."

Both he and Pepper strode to the screen, Lila giving up her seat to an impatient Tony as he immediately began barking orders at Jarvis while running numerous tests on the traces found in Maria's room.

"Mr. Stark, the tests will take approximately 7 minutes and 34 seconds. May I recommend taking a look at Miss. Maria's room while you wait?"

Tony didn't reply to Jarvis, as he got out of his seat and instead told Pepper to wait in the living room. Lila knew that Tony was probably killing himself inside at the fact that his home had been invaded despite the fact that it was protected with literally the world's best security alarm system. He was going to push Pepper away even though he needed her then the most- typical Tony Stark.

Pepper sat back down and ran a hand through her rumpled red hair, and Lila was reminded that she hadn't yet done her best friend duties for Pepper in her time of need- she'd gone into Nancy Drew mode the second she'd entered the penthouse.

Without a word, she curled up next to Pepper and wrapped her arms around. Pepper took off her shoes and put her feet in Lila's lap, an old habit she'd picked up while pregnant- Pepper had perpetually freezing feet. The moment Lila felt wetness from her friend's tears; she began to cry as well.

Maria was like her niece, and she loved her like she was family.

Steve took a chair nearby the two and sat, saying nothing. Watching Lila cry was hard for him, but it was even more disconcerting seeing her so close to Pepper Potts- Stark. The last time he'd seen them together, Lila had been intimidated as hell by the older woman. Now, she was the one stroking Pepper's hair with a motherly touch, murmuring sweet comforting words to her the way one would to a child.

_Steve POV:_

They had fallen into a silence- not comfortable, but not weird either. It was respectful of the massive grief in the room. Steve was about to yawn but stopped himself, checking his old wristwatch for the time- 3:41 AM.  
For a man who tended to sleep by 11 PM, exhaustion was ready to set in. Steve also realized that it had been more than half an hour since Tony had left for Maria's room.  
Wondering what could be taking him so long to examine the tiny nursery; Steve excused himself and asked Jarvis quietly where Maria's room was.

The walk from the main living area to the room was short; he supposed that having a baby girl meant keeping her near the master bedroom.

Ignoring the returning feeling of overwhelming sorrow, Steve opened the door with the heart shaped sign proclaiming it "MARIA'S ROOM".

Inside, Tony knelt near his daughter's bed, head in hands. He hadn't heard Steve enter, and was startled to feel a hand on his shoulder.

"Who's there- Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, it's me. Listen, Tony, if there's anything I can do… tell me. I'll do it, anything."

Tony looked away, but replied,

"When I found out who did this- and Jarvis is an hour away from figuring that out- come with me. I might fuck it up; let my emotions get the best of me. I might screw my baby over just because I'm so cut up with her gone. I'm just a mess, and it's like…"

"It was worse because it was in your home? On your playing field?"  
Tony nodded miserably and lay his head on Maria's sunny yellow bedspread.

Steve had no idea what to do at that point, so he asked who was most likely to do something like this.

Tony went on to list at least 15 different individuals and organizations who held considerable grudges against Iron Man, and 32 individuals and organizations who held considerable grudges against Tony Stark.

Steve let his friend ramble, only interrupting to when Jarvis announced that the results were almost ready, and would Mr. Stark like to check his suit once before he went anywhere?  
With a reminder of his responsibilities, Tony left Steve alone in the pink and yellow room that smelled like baby powder and Johnson's baby lotion. He decided to leave before the image of Lila holding a blonde baby could dance through his mind.

_Lila POV:_

It was 5 AM, and Tony knew where Maria was. Jarvis had proven himself (itself?) once again, retracing the remnants of the dark mass to a technology plant in Japan which was privatized, catering to the crème de la crème of investors.

Most importantly, one Justin Hammer, who was still behind bars for life, was a major funding partner for a cloaking technology the plant had only recently perfected. Within minutes Tony had deciphered that Hammer had been planning an escape, along with a new identity and revenge- he would have killed Maria as his first act as a free man.

It was alarmingly simple, and Lila wasn't used to that at all. Her mind told her to doubt Tony when he joyfully announced that the "dumbfuck Hammer had tried to get back at him by stealing his baby girl, and he was going to get to finally wipe that ridiculous goatee off his face- permanently".

Lila ignored Pepper's shocked "Tony!"- if she had a super suit, she would be inclined to fly over to whatever jail Hammer was going to escape from and kick his stupid face into a concave lens.

After finalizing his plan with Jarvis, he went to get his suit prepared to fly to Japan where Hammer was hiding out, with Pepper hot on his heels. Lila was about to suggest that she and Steve head home when she saw he was asking Jarvis about any old Captain America uniforms lying around the tower.

"STEVE ROGERS! Why do you need a uniform _now?" _Her voice had had reached that dangerously shrill pitch immediately- how could he do this to her?

"I promised Tony I'd help- he's my only friend in the world and if I didn't go with him now… I would feel awful."  
"You just got home! You're in recovery, you're still not 100% well yet! God Steve, I still can't believe you're back- please don't go. Not after tonight, you can't!"

Steve looked wounded and sadder than she'd ever seen him, and Lila knew that she was being a bit insane and unfair- but her heart was screaming NO to the thought of his leaving once more- even for the sake of her baby girl Maria.

"Lila, sweetheart. You know, you _know _I wouldn't leave you for nothing. If it wasn't entirely essential, if it wasn't the most important thing in the world- besides you."

The cheesy but genuine phrase was enough for Lila to jump into Steve's arms and hug him fiercely, kissing his cheeks over and over again.

"Don't" _kiss _"Let" _kiss _"Yourself" _kiss _"Get" _kiss _"Hurt".

Steve felt like he was about to cry; leaving Lila was a lot tougher than he had imagined it would be, especially after the last 48 hours of his life.

The sight of her standing tucked into his arms, tears streaking down her cheeks, was enough to make him press his lips to hers- he had to show her that he would return- that he _had _to return.

He had no choice in the matter.

And then Tony returned, suited up, and Steve ran to get changed, and Lila went to lie down next to Pepper on her bed where they both worried for their men.

_Lila POV:_

Homecomings had always been sweet to watch in the Stark family. Whether it was Iron Man safely home from a mission or a new baby seeing her home for the first time, Lila always cried for happiness.

It was different when Tony and Steve returned with Maria.

The homecoming's joy was measured- as if too much happiness would ruin the reality that everyone was home safe and sound.

Lila had received updates from Tony and Steve via Jarvis- the rescue had taken 2 days and 9 hours- and for each minute Lila and Pepper had aged ten years.

They hadn't been able to, but each had urged the other to eat something. They both tried to sleep while waiting, but every time Lila shut her eyes, she would see a bloodstained pink nightgown, or a battered starred and striped shield, marred with gore- sleep was out of the question for either woman.

When Jarvis announced that the mission was a success and that the group's arrival was in less than 6 hours, they had gone manic. Both sat about, dithering; not reading emails, checking Facebook, discussing business deals without actually retaining a single decision.

Finally, Lila suggested that they shower- it had been more than 2 days, after all.

Lila had been wrapping her towel around her hair when Jarvis announced that Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, and Maria Stark had returned home.

Ignoring her clean clothes folded nearby, Lila flung on a terry cloth robe and ran to the living room to find a sobbing Pepper holding Maria in her arms, with Tony wrapped around both of them.

Lila was overjoyed for her pseudo family, but couldn't see Steve. She began to fear the worst, tears bubbling out of her eyes before she could stop them. Lila shut her eyes tightly, willing herself to _stop crying like an infant _and compose herself before Steve found her.

"I'm home."

The two words prompted the tears to stream out even faster, and Lila blindly launched herself forward towards the source of them.

"I got you, Lila, I'm here."

"I can't take you being gone. I need you with me, Steve. I just really, really need you. Oh god, you're back. Thank God, thank god."

She held his face in her hands, checking him for injuries.

Steve ignored her fussing and kissed her, good and hard.  
Lila felt herself floating with relief, understanding that Steve really wasn't hurt at all, and she could go home with him, and be his girlfriend.

The kiss went on until a small voice piped out, "Lila! You never went swimming with me! Why!"

Breaking off her kiss, Lila ran to her baby girl, who had finally been released from Pepper's iron grasp.

"I was so, so worried baby girl. We'll go swimming soon, okay, and we'll make hot dogs and bake cookies and sing Wiggles songs all day, alright?" She felt an intense rush of exhaustion then- obviously the past few days had destroyed what little emotional strength she had had left.

**Later that night:**

_Steve POV:  
_They had gotten home after Tony had recounted what had happened to the adults while doctors saw to Maria- she was alright physically, but the nighttime visitor had turned out to be master assassin and kidnapper of high profile targets.

It wasn't until 8 PM that Lila noticed Steve nearly snapping his jaw in a valiant effort not to yawn, and she gracefully excused them, promising to visit the next evening. (She wanted to give Tony and Pepper time to recover as a family with Maria). Steve was grateful for her observance and looked forward to his own bed and Lila near him.

He hadn't expected Lila to decide that they were ready to sleep together- not sexually but sleep-wise.

His first reaction was giddiness- he could cuddle her and touch her and kiss her- and then he felt horror- what if he couldn't control himself? But then she led him to her bedroom, and she helped him undress, wincing at the sight of a few bruises marring his back and chest. Lila massaged his hurts and kissed them better.  
Steve felt like he was in heaven- being cared for by someone who loved you was so much better than an impersonal SHIELD nurse.

And she went to the bathroom for a moment to slip on some pajamas and a tee shirt, leaving him to strip to his shorts and undershirt.

He stood near the bed, waiting for her to signal his welcome. Lila understood his reticence, and pulled back the mauve sheets, scooting in first to her preferred right side of the bed, expectantly turning towards him.

Taking the invitation, Steve climbed into the bed, and immediately felt calmer. The bed sheets smelled softly of Lila, and of course the living breathing girl was right next to him. He lay his head on a pillow gently, facing Lila and smiling.

She grinned back, touching his face and biting her lip.

"What?"

"It's just… Steve, I'm so lucky to have you. I'm just really, really blessed and lucky."

"I can't even tell you how blessed I feel- this is my 3rd chance at life, and I'm going to use it wisely this time."

"I can't wait to see you do it."

"You'll be there for most of it, babe."

Lila softly kissed Steve on the lips, and then turned over to be the little spoon to Steve's big spoon.

Steve was instantly on edge at her body's touch- she was _perfect_, and her pressed flush against him made him worry. The, Lila took his hand and held it close to her heart, and Steve felt so very close to her- he was able to snuggle close to her without a second thought.

Their dreams were sweet that night.

**OKAY THAT WAS A LONG UPDATE WAIT.**

**Sorry guys but I'm awful at real plot, so this Maria thing was kind of a bitch.**

**Lots of love to all!**


	22. It's You I Need

**Fluffy cloudlike heavenly cotton candy times- anyonewho read this for action or something, sorry. This is a lovey dovey fest and I'm just really living vicariously through my writing here.**

_Lila POV:_

It was 1 PM and Lila Amin was in bed with a man for the very first time. She and the man hadn't slept together, per se, but she felt closer to him than she ever had before. The sunlight streamed through the thin strip of window exposed by the gauzy curtains, and everything in the world felt perfect.

Lila first awoke around 9 AM- her internal clock couldn't be tamed, even if she went to bed as late as 5 AM.

She was still exhausted from the previous days' ordeal, and so she snuggled back into Steve's arms and promptly fell back asleep.

It wasn't till around 12 PM that Lila was roused awake; not by an alarm clock though. No, Lila was awakened by the fleeting sensation of lips pressed against her nose, her cheek, her mouth.

Steve was up.

Lila spoke without opening her eyes; "Good morning, sweetheart."

He was facing her, intently exploring her face with his mouth and eyes.

"Morning," Steve mumbled, not pausing in his endeavor to kiss every possible inch of her face. Lila could feel her face heating up, and was surprised that lust could shoot so quickly through her sleep addled body- so much for her self-professed self-control.

"How do you feel?" Lila inquired when she fully blinked away the sleep in her eyes, and saw the light smattering of bruises on her boyfriend's upper arm. She was immediately concerned, and she decided that a massage would probably be in order soon.

"I'm pretty decent, actually. Sleep can cure anything."

"It has nothing to do with bed partners, huh?" Lila teased, scooting closer to Steve and batting her eyelashes.

"Last night was wonderful- I didn't have any bad dreams at all."

He looked stupidly happy, which is what Lila felt, and so she leaned forward on her elbows and gave his bruised arm a gentle kiss.

Lila was going to kiss his lips as well, but she realized that if she did that- she wouldn't be able to stop. And something told her- instinct, whatever- that sex would not be the best step to take in their relationship at that point, although she could tell that she was going to have a hard time waiting to jump her gorgeous man's bones.

It was unfair, actually, how good he looked after sleeping a whole night/morning.

His hair was tousled, but bed head looked hot on him so that wasn't a problem. Light stubble traced Steve's jaw, but it was only lightly prickly, and it made Lila want to touch his face. People shouldn't wake up sexy, but there was Steve Rogers being the exception to the rule as usual.

Lila couldn't deal with the injustice of it, and decided that she needed to pee and stop ogling him.

Before she could get out of bed, she was roused from her reverie with an inquisitive Steve repeating,

"Lila? Lilaaa?"

"Oh sorry, I was spacing. What did you say Steve?"

"I asked if you'd slept well. Obviously you did, since you still haven't woken up yet."

She was glad that he hadn't realized that she had actually been looking at his body with sexual assault in mind, and indignantly replied,

"I haven't had my morning coffee yet! Some of us are not super-humanized and need a little extra help. And so I'm going to the bathroom, and then figure out what we'll do for brunch. I don't know about you, but I am starving."

Steve nodded, and stretched.

_Steve POV:_

Sleeping in was something to try more often; especially if it meant waking up next to a warm, caring girl like Lila. When he'd woken up, Lila had been lightly snoring, with her hair mussed around her face like a brunet halo. She looked completely at peace and was almost silent- something Steve rarely saw of the loquacious woman.

She was also very, very close to him.

It took him a moment to fully realize that this was his fault- he had had no way of previously knowing this but, it did indeed turn out that he, Steve Rogers AKA Captain America, was a cuddler.

His leg was wrapped around hers, and she was nestled in his arms front to back. Steve also then realized that he needed to relieve himself of his morning condition and gently detached himself from his girlfriend, who turned over and promptly continued snoring, albeit a bit louder than before.

It was cute.

And as he was peeing, Steve felt himself smiling without knowing it, and then smiling because of that.

It would have bothered him if he hadn't felt so damn happy. After washing his hands, he went back to Lila's room and climbed back into bed, taking care not to wake her up.

She looked pretty good for someone who had had a pretty rough couple of days. Steve could see light purple smudging beneath Lila's eyes, and was grieved that she had taken his leaving so badly. What would happen if SHIELD wanted him back full time?  
It was too heavy a thought to contemplate at the time, so Steve instead brushed a hand against Lila's cheek, enjoying the sensation of soft skin, tinged pink from sleeping.

She stirred slightly, and pursed her mouth in her sleep; it looked very kissable, and Steve decided that he wanted to kiss Lila awake.

Of course, Lila took that moment to turn flat on her back, and then flung her arm over her face. Steve internally groaned- she was a restless sleeper.

He then noticed something else- Lila was clearly braless, and it was one of the few times in his life Steve had caught his breath because of arousal.

She had matured while he'd been gone- her chest was more developed, her figure more curvaceous. Steve had known that when she was fully dressed, but something about her lack of a bra was… intimate.

It was also the first time he'd had to run back to the bathroom in the same 5 minute interval.

Kisses had to wait a little bit, but they would come.

_Lila POV:_

The good thing about waking up around 1 PM was that Lila could order Chinese food for her first meal of the day, and not feel like a crazy person. She and Steve sat on the couch, munching companionably on lo mein while watching a rerun of Friends. Things seemed as if they were going to be quiet for a while- SHIELD was still leaving Steve alone in terms of official missions, so Lila was assured that he would be safe on that front, for now.

Maria was home safe; Pepper had called, asking them if they would hold off on visiting until Tony had calmed down. Apparently the kidnapping of his only daughter was infuriating enough for him to redesign the entire Tower's security system; also he had to buy out Hammer Industries so that he could destroy it financially and publicity wise.

Lila wasn't worried about him though; she knew he was just dealing with it the way he knew best- technology and money. It was better than using women and alcohol to cope.

Basically, life seemed like it could go on peacefully, at least for a few weeks. After cleaning up the takeout, Lila grabbed her laptop and checked her email. Steve had gone to the gym to run 2 miles and then lift weights, per Lila's orders. She wasn't too worried for his recovery- plenty of rest and food would have him back in tip top shape in no time. Her worries lay in regards to his psychological state. She simply couldn't figure out how to give him what he needed, to help or treat his emotional damage.

Lila skimmed through the endless emails, ignoring spam and offers from various companies she didn't work for or care about.

After finding one from Steve's SHIELD physician though, she carefully read over the message.

"Ms. Amin,

Do take care that Captain Rogers is properly exercising and maintaining a diet of easily digestible foods. Avoid all strenuous activities- side missions cannot be encouraged or allowed."

She knew this was a reprimand for letting him go with Tony to Japan, but what was she supposed to do? Tie up THE Captain America? And then her mind went to a dirty place before she shook her head and returned to her emails.

Sadly, she found herself unable to concentrate again, and decided that maybe she needed a workout as well.

Except she didn't feel like running, or yoga, or the elliptical.

Lila knew what her body was asking for.

It was impossible.

It was ridiculous.

And she realized that she wouldn't be satisfied unless she tried- Lila knew he'd say no, but what if he said yes?

Lust was overtaking logic, she knew, and that was dangerous.

Lust meant that she would give in to what she wanted.

And Lila getting what she wanted always meant the worst- life had taught her that much in 20 something years.

So, as usual, Lila ignored the roiling sexual desire and instead decided that a grocery shopping trip was long overdue. Steve would probably like the corner store down the street, she thought, and as easily as that, her turmoil was gone for the time being.

She took out a piece of paper and began to write out a list.

**1 Month later:**

_Lila POV:_

They were doing well. Lila was doing Pepper's work from her laptop at the penthouse, while Steve had been deemed back to "normal" in under a week by SHIELD and its physicians.

Steve still felt doubts for his physical capabilities, while Lila worried that SHIELD was going to take Steve away from her again- too soon, and for too long.

Still, there was a kind of happy symmetry to their lives.

Lila had her work, and Steve was able to return to his. He would leave around 7 AM each morning to do some kind of training with SHIELD operatives- a car picked him up daily, and Lila would always make sure he ate before he left. It reminded her of the old "them", when she wore pretty lilac dresses and boxed like a fiend.

He'd be home by dinner, which she cooked 4 of 7 days of the week. She couldn't make the elaborate arrangements the way she used to, but there was nothing wrong with ordering take-out and putting it out on platters.

Their evening consisted of television, music, and sporadic tech lessons which ended with Steve looking at pictures and using the New York Times app on Lila's iPhone- he had no idea where his own Stark Industry issued phone was.

Sleeping together was no longer an option; Lila had decided that first day that she would probably try to seduce Steve one night, and ruin _everything _she had worked so hard to obtain. They still kissed and hugged, but it was less passionate and more affectionate. Steve hadn't seemed to notice the change, and so Lila was able to maintain her façade of calm.

Things changed by week 4.

It was a Tuesday afternoon when Lila read tabloid rumors of a team of super powered individuals stopping a terrorist organization from overthrowing the government in Colombia.

Small occurrences made sense in the horrific way that they always seemed to- the scrapes, the fatigue. Lila had been associating them with Steve's tenuous hold on his health- he had been asleep and drugged for 4 years; it was natural for him to take his time in healing.

When she figured it out over her cup of coffee and her trashy guilty pleasure magazines, the oddest numbness fell over Lila. It was as if she had already lost Steve to an unnamed danger; a whizzing bullet, a speeding train. She could lose him right then, as her coffee grew chilly and her eyes grew damp.

_Why hadn't he told her that he was out on the field again? How could he risk himself like that- like he was allowed to put himself in danger, all the time, for his job?_

_And why hadn't SHIELD informed her?_

_And what about Pepper? And Tony? How could they, of all people, hide something like this from her? _

Her body felt stone cold as she stood and dialed Steve's SHIELD com-link. It was a standard issue for every employee of the organization, and Lila had received Steve's number upon her return into his life.

There was at first no reply, only buzzing static and vague rumbling noises.

Then there was an unmistakable roaring coming from _something_- and a yell from a woman demanding backup while a whooshing noise resembling a jet pack commenced, and then Tony's voice was in her ear, shouting for "Barton to get his damn self to the traffic tower so that they could take down the bastard's air force".

She listened for a half hour, to the sound of gunshot and shrapnel and explosions and melees and the solid THWACK of hand to hand combat, and then she heard his voice.

"Grab the survivors, I'll get the boss! I'll be fine! Just go-"

And then the communications broke down, with a screechy dial tone mocking Lila for being so damn gullible.

_Naïve little girl, why would he tell you the truth? You know yourself better than anyone Lila, why would you just expect him to play the Ward Cleaver role and just go back to the office, 9-5 in time for a nightcap and supper?_

_Stupid bitch. You knew this would happen._

_You love him too much, and he's hurt you. And do you need more hurting Lila Amin? Are you a masochist? Do you like to feel your heart clench with sorrow, your head throb with pain?_

_Why do you let yourself feel so very much, at the expense of your own potential sanity?_

_Why won't you accept that this relationship is just __**too **__difficult for you to navigate- silly girl, dumb virgin girl who can hardly keep her pants on. _

_Will you really let this go on any longer?_

And Lila knew her answer as she rounded out of the living room door to the storage closet where her boxing gear had rested so peacefully for so long.

Not so anymore.

_Steve POV:_

He was bone tired. South America was currently a hot bed of political turmoil and violence, and jetting back and forth between the Americas was not good for his health.

Still, it was worth seeing Lila stirring something on the stove, or typing on her laptop, or just plain seeing her.

He loved her.

It was why he was keeping his return to the Avengers quiet, for the time being. He needed to figure out to make her understand that working with the team was one of the ways he would feel more whole again, like a more fulfilled person.

He'd wanted to call her the second that Fury told him that whether he was prepared or not, the world needed the Captain again.

But then he remembered the haunted brown eyes of Lila after he'd returned with Maria and Tony weeks ago; he simply couldn't make her go through it again, as his girlfriend.

She'd backed off; no more sleeping together which was a blessing and a curse. Morning boners were nothing new, but still embarrassing to have around his sexy girlfriend.

He missed her though; one night was enough. She was soft and solid and capable and sleeping next to her made him feel safe.

Steve knew how pathetic he sounded but it was truth.

The ride home seemed longer than usual but Steve didn't mind, stopping to pick up some flowers from a stall by the side of the road- Lilies.

When he unlocked the door, the lights were off. There were no delicious aromas in the air, no telltale tapping noises to indicate that Lila was on her computer. All Steve heard was a faint pounding, and he realized that Lila was in the gym.

Boxing.

Fuck.

He walked as if in slow motion to the gym, feeling anxious and concerned- was it about her family? Did she miss them, or had he done something?

And then the pounding stopped, and he opened the door to the gym and there she was, facing her boxing bag, wearing her old pink head to toe boxing gear, and her face was streaming with sweat and her hair was messily bound up in a bun and _Lila was crying._

He immediately honed in on that and realized-

She knew.

Lila slowly turned, shucking off her gloves and wiping her face with her arm.

"You're home."

Her voice was dull, deadened by tears and something… awful.

"I was busy at work today."

"I heard."  
Warning bells rang in his head too late, and he recalled a beep on his com link that he'd ignored while flinging his shield at a slew of henchmen.

"I should have told you"-Her eyes turned flinty, and the frown on her face deepened into a scowl.

"You should have. SHIELD should have told me. Fuck, Tony or Pepper could've told me, even Jarvis could have told me."

Steve's heart began pounding at the sight of the steely grimace on Lila's face- she was furious- madder than that last boxing incident years ago.

"Lila, listen. I know how much my going away cuts you up, so I thought I'd just do my job and spare you the worry but I was wrong and I am so, so sorry." And he sounded penitent, and Lila just _had _to know that he meant it.

"I believe you."

Huh. That was easy, Steve realized.

"Are you- are you alright?"  
"Steve, I'll be fine, just like always. Remember, I'm the camel with no weight limit- just keep piling the shit on my back but I will not EVER collapse." Her voice's volume was rising, and Steve could sense a blowup- he was willing to let it happen if it helped her vent.

"In light of this, and in light of our relationship, Steve, I've realized something. What I've realized is that I can't live without you by my side- these past 5 years have taught me that much- and even though I know that it's bad for me, my love for you keeps me alive. I live to be with you, I've lived for you. I kept going when you left for your sake. However, I can't keep on letting myself get beat up by the actions of others; I need things to go my way for a while."

Steve couldn't see where she was going- was she breaking things off with him?

But she had said she couldn't live without him.

What?

"Steve, are you listening?"  
At his nod, Lila laid a gentle hand on his cheek.

"I love you, and the idea of losing you causes me physical pain. I know, however, that the Avengers are something _**you **_live for; you need the team the way I need you."

He interjected passionately, exclaiming "I need you more than any SHIELD team, Lila-"

"Shh, let me finish. Since I need you so much, and I'm so damn conflicted about everything, I'm going to need you to do something for me."

"Anything, sweetheart, anything- just ask."

Lila hesitated for a moment, absentmindedly stroking Steve's cheek and thinking to herself.

"Lila?"

"Hmm? Yes, Steve, I'm still here. I'm just thinking if I can actually say what I want out loud."  
Her halting words were troubling- "What do you want Lila, I'll do it! Yes, I say yes to whatever it is!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep. Those are the worst kind. And what I want is a lifelong commitment. If I have to deal with you being gone _potentially getting yourself killed_, I'm going to need you to be even closer to you than I am now. I don't just want Valentine's Day chocolates and kisses- I want it all. I want the house and the kids and the flowerbed, and I want you to be in my bed every night you can possibly be, and I need you to tell me that I'm not fucking insane for thinking that we're meant to be each other's support system- I need you all the time, like the moon needs the sun to shine. I love you more than anyone I've ever loved, and I want to give you my world. I just want a commitment from you, an oath that we'll stay together and be each other's rocks. Please, please. Steve, just please. Tell me now, so that I can leave if I need to."

Steve simply stood, speechless.

How was it possible- he'd lied to her, deceived her, went behind her back, and did the exact thing which he knew would break her heart- how was it possible for her to still want him after all that?  
He felt like an ass, undeserving and selfish. She was laying her entire soul bare before him- this had to stop. He couldn't let her go another moment feeling pain.

Without speaking yet, Steve slowly took Lila's hand- still covered in tape.

He had no idea how to say what needed to be said, but he really needed Lila to understand him 100% just for once.

Gathering his thoughts, he spoke up after a few moments of gazing at her hand.

"Lila, I should never have lied to you. I know that you hate liars, and that my deception was about the one thing that actually hurt you the most- I can't forgive myself, and I doubt you'll be able to either. I am so grateful that you still want me- more of me, even. I didn't think there was more of me to give until this point, but now I realize that I _want_ to give all of myself- the entire package, to you and I want nothing less in return. I do need you, more than you'll ever need me. Remember, you're the one who's brought me back to the land of the living. You're the reason I want to be an Avenger- I want to make the world safe for you, and for our future. A long time ago, you told me that you wanted amazing things for me. I was feeling sorry for myself and didn't pay much mind; but today, I have so much to thank you for. I have friends because of you, I have a job I love and need because you took care of me; hell, I have my sanity because of you. And because of you, I know what real love is like, and that's a debt I'll never be able to repay. All I can do is ask you one thing."

Lila had stared up at Steve's eyes throughout his speech, but at those words she lowered her gaze to her scuffed shoes, and nodded for him to continue.

Steve knelt down on one knee and asked,

"Marry me."

_Lila POV:_

How could she have ever doubted his love? How? Her inner voice needed to shut the fuck up sometimes, so that things in her life could be less dramatic- although for once, it had led to the ultimate love of her life proposing to her on bent knee.

Which reminded her stunned self that he was still on said knee, and so she took a deep breath and though-

_Would mom say yes? _

And then she remembered that her mom had lost her husband after only 10 years of marriage, and that love was forever but life was fleetingly short- she had so much to make up for.

Up till that moment, Lila's face had shown no registering of what Steve had asked of her.

And so thanks to her mother, Lila smiled broadly, tears falling from her eyes again. She nodded once, twice, and then bent down on her own knees to face Steve.

"I want to be with you _forever. _Nothing more, nothing less."

Steve closed his eyes and sighed in relief- _she said yes._

He leaned his forehead against hers, and replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

**A/N: . I was like no this will be happy but then NO a plot struck me but the story will continue, I promise! Keep reading and reviewing, love you ALL!**


	23. It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

**I've been gone, I know, but the next 3 weeks are near impossible for me to write a real chapter. In lieu of a chapter, I will write short little vignettes that should hopefully make up for the lack of actual story till August. Love you all, read on and review! Xoxo**

_Lila POV:_

She used to hate mornings- getting out of a perfectly warm cocoon, peeing, waiting for the coffee to finish. Now mornings were a thing to look forward to- a treat, a gift from God.

It was because of him.

Being engaged meant Lila was okay with Steve sleeping next to her- they still hadn't taken the next step, which was tough on both of them, but Lila wanted to wait.

She knew that made Steve happy- waiting till they were legally and eternally wed before they slept together.

She could deal with the sexual frustration until the wedding, which was in 2 months. She loved Steve so much; she could handle waiting.

It also helped that he had surprised her a day after their engagement in the gym with a giant rock- Tony Stark did nothing by halves, including taking his new BFFL to Harry Winston's private showroom for an engagement ring.

Lila had thought Steve had gone to SHIELD for work- she'd accepted if not gotten over her hatred of Steve going on missions again.

That was why she was so shocked when she came home from Pepper's office that evening with pad Thai; she'd expected a dark apartment which was too cold from the AC running all afternoon.

When she'd stepped into the room, her initial feeling was of shock.

The living room was draped in fairy lights, with candles flickering on all the tables and counters. Small bowls with petals floating in water were scattered across the apartment, and Lila could smell a chicken in the oven.

"Steve? You in here?" Her voice rang through the apartment. Steve stepped out of their room, carrying a shopping bag and a box.

"Good evening Lila." Walking past her, he stooped to press a kiss on her cheek. She left her purse and briefcase on the sofa, following Steve towards the kitchen.

"What's going on Steve?"  
He smiled, turning off the oven with one hand and handing her the parcels with the other.

"These are for you."

"Why? I mean, thank you, but is something up?" She could feel the senseless excitement inside of her-

Was this the official proposal?

"Lila, open the box and stop analyzing. Actually, check the bag first. I saw this when Stark dragged me shopping for Maria's birthday party. Pepper's got him on a short leash; he had a list and everything!"

Her excitement faded; his explanation was very plausible. She and Pepper had spent the better part of the day planning Maria's birthday party- Princess Iron Girl themed, by the way- and so the image of a ring faded from her thoughts.

She absentmindedly pawed at the first bag, from Neiman Marcus, and felt a box. Lila pulled out the package, finding it wrapped in silver paper with a bow.  
Steve stood nearby, smiling and waiting for her to open the present. Lila took her time- she saved wrapping paper and reused it, like the pack rat that she was.

Lila opened the box, and huffed impatiently when she found more tissue paper obscuring her view of her present. She tore this layer off, and then put her hands to her mouth.

"You got this for me?"

Steve came behind her and hugged her, resting his head on her shoulder.

Inside the box was a pair of red- flaming hot, lipstick red- Jimmy Choo strappy stiletto high heels. They were gorgeous- Lila loved shoes, and she had restrained herself from buying the more expensive designer's products before.

"I saw them on display and thought, Lila would know how to make those shoes look amazing. Plus, I figured 6 inches fit your prerequisite for potentially fatal shoes."  
Lila nudged him and laughed, happily pulling away from his embrace to turn around and kiss him. Her brow furrowed when one disturbing thought crept into her mind.

"Steve, these shoes cost a lot of money- no offense, but I don't want you spending that kind of cash on just a whim! I love the shoes so much, but it's too much, really."

Steve shook his head and kept smiling, which surprised Lila.

"What's so funny? It's true."

"Just try on the shoes Lila. See if they fit."  
Lila was frustrated but obliged, sitting on a chair and fastening the buckles of the straps. Something wasn't working however; the left shoe's straps seemed too short for Lila's ankle, which by no means was large- she only wore size 7 shoes, after all.

"Steve, something's wrong with this strap. Can you check what it is, I can't see it!"

Lila turned around to find Steve rummaging around the fridge for something, and so she decided to check for herself what was wrong with her _amazing_ new shoes. She stood up and twisted her leg at the knee, angling herself so she could see what the problem was. Something small was attached to the left strap, around the back of her heel. "I found the thing messing up the strap; can you please get it off?"

Steve, ever the gentleman, returned to her side and knelt behind her, deftly untying whatever was ruining her beautiful present. He taking his time though; Lila was growing impatient. "Can you speed it up, please? I feel like a dodo on one leg."

Steve's voice came from behind her, softly.

"Do you mind if I take off the shoes? Both of them, so that I can get the thing off faster and you won't feel so uncomfortable?"

Lila nodded yes, because her shoes were killer- they were already hurting her feet, and it hadn't been two minutes since she'd put them on.  
Steve's hands were gentle on her feet; Lila became self-conscious- what if they smelt?

Still, she felt safe somehow, with Steve's hand carefully holding her ankle as she stepped out of the shoe. As soon as both feet landed on the ground, Steve turned Lila around by the calf.

There it was.

The ring twinkled in Steve's hands, bold and shining- the diamond's cut was flawless, and Lila began to cry.

"Was that supposed to be a surprise proposal honey?"

Steve sheepishly shrugged, clearly emotional but unwilling to show it.

"Tony had a plan, but I didn't think you'd be able to take the ring out of the knot he'd made with your shoe strap, so I gave up and took over."

Lila was grinning idiotically, as she seemed wont to do those days.

They both stared at one another for a moment before Steve realized that he needed to propose.

"Lila, I have a lot of trouble with words sometimes. I can't always say the right thing, and I'll always have to work extra hard to tell you how much I love you. That doesn't mean I'll have trouble showing you how much I love you, though. You've become the sun, and I the moon. I orbit because of you, I follow you. You're like this North Star that led me to this happier, brighter place, and I can't imagine being anywhere else but next to you. I love you, and I want you by my side, forever. Marry me?"

Lila was overwhelmed, and astonished, and exuberant. The tears were flowing freely from her eyes, and her hands were shaking near her mouth where she slapped them upon seeing the ring.

Steve seemed anxious for her answer, despite her having said yes only the day before.

Lila hesitated before lowering herself to one knee, still looking up at Steve, but more equal in height.

"Yes. I want to be yours, forever and always, and I want all of you. To have and to hold, and to cherish eternally. I love you too, Steve, and I'm so happy!"

He placed the ring on her finger before gathering her into his arms and squeezing her tightly, kissing the top of her hair.  
"I am so excited to be marrying you, Lila Amin."

"I am so excited to be marrying you too, Captain Rogers."

They laughed and broke away from each other. Lila stood up to turn on the brighter light so she could better see her ring. It was stunning, and she couldn't believe that Steve had picked it out on his own.

"How did you manage all this in one day? And this ring- Steve, I was worried about the shoes being too much! This is insane; wonderful but insane!"

Steve took her hand to caress it as he replied, "I just called in some favors. No big deal, but SHIELD owes me quite a bit."

Lila realized that there was a second box, which she had nearly forgotten in her shoe/ring fueled frenzy.

"What's this?"

"Something. Open it."

Lila didn't have to rip paper to open this box, although it was large and rectangular. She carefully removed the lid, only to find a canvas with a large charcoal sketch of her, sleeping.

"Last night, I couldn't sleep. Too happy, I suppose, and that made me antsy. I grabbed my sketch book at first, but then I realized that your sleeping pose was actually really perfect for a portrait of you. I always keep some canvas/sketching boards in my closet, and voila. You looked so beautiful in that moonlight, with no sound, but that of my pencil scratching and your snoring."

Lila was touched, and ignored the teasing, examining the sketch once more. He had captured her very essence; mussed hair, tousled sheets.

It was amazing what that man could do.

She could feel herself growing overexcited and overwhelmed- her happiness was definitely making her panic. Only one thing could calm her down.

"I'm really, really happy right now. Like, too happy. I'm about to explode with happy. I need to release some of the happy by calling Pepper on the phone, so while I do that, serve the chicken because I am starving and then we're going to eat dinner, and then kiss, alright? But I need to call Pepper, and I'm sorry to ruin this moment but I'm about hyperventilate."

Steve only nodded; Tony had warned him of this possible reaction.

**Okay, this was still longish.**

**Oh well. I'll try updating this week again. Love y'all. Read and review!**


	24. Summer Nights

**I AM SO SO SORRY for this ridiculously long hiatus but my laptop's been on the fritz for a few weeks! FORGIVE ME PLEASE.**

**I'm going to do another filler chapter- fluff, not so much plot but a Super Wedding is in the works, I promise :D.**

_Steve POV:_

Steve had known for a while that Lila loved shopping of all kinds; grocery, clothes, or furniture- you name it, she enjoyed it. For her, finding the perfect item was a challenge, and she was a highly competitive woman in that sense._  
_Still, he was a little shocked when he caught Lila on her laptop at 8 in the morning- where he'd left her the previous night around midnight- setting up a wedding registry at some department store he had never heard of.

"Sweetheart, did you sleep at all?"

Lila didn't look up from her screen and replied absentmindedly, "Mhmm. I lay down for a couple minutes when I was making fresh coffee around… I wanna say 3ish?"  
Steve picked up the pillows surrounding Lila in her little shopping nest on her side of the bed and found multiple bridal magazines. When he flipped through them he was horrified to see highlighted paragraphs and earmarked pages- Lila was preparing for the nuptials the way a grad student prepares for their finals.

"Lila, aren't you taking this… wedding prep a bit too far? We haven't even set a proper date, have we?"

She looked up then, smiling and pulling up a calendar on her laptop (he had no idea how to do that) and pointed at the month of September.

"My mom and I shared a birthday on the 15th, and this quiet little lakeside resort upstate is available for that date. If you want, we can check out the location today?"

Steve didn't really care where they got married- they could wed in a barn and still live happily ever after in his opinion, but he figured that this was important to Lila.

Tony had told him about this part of the engagement. Apparently, women loved to stress out and plan weddings like it was the end of the world.

Tony had also made Steve watch his wedding video- Pepper in a radiant white flowing dress, little Maria clearly making herself known in a visible baby bump. Lila was a bridesmaid to the tiny ceremony, which seemed rather simple, but Tony let him in on the truth-

Weddings were hell if the bride wasn't happy. Hell, the marriage would be tainted forever if the special day wasn't exactly the way the bride had imagined and planned it.

Steve was lucky in that respect- Lila was actually asking him what he wanted. Her ideas were naturally moderate and reasonable; she hated waste and opulence, so Steve didn't have to say no to anything she really thought of.

He even enjoyed the cake tasting and the menu planning aspect of it- he loved good food.

He also loved telling Maria that she was going to be a flower girl; said flower girl jumped up and down on her Uncle Steve until he explained what her duties were and whether or not she would get to wear a tiara.

(Lila said she'd look into it).

Overall, getting engaged and planning a wedding was great fun, but there was still one source of stress and concern for Steve- the big night.

_Lila POV:_

In the years to come, Lila would forever credit her easy wedding planning process to a combination of Jarvis' organization and Pepper's perseverance- the woman could get out of season flowers to bloom if she stayed on the phone long enough.

Invitations were sent out to a limited guest list, due to Steve's status as a superhero requiring some secrecy. It was thrilling for Lila to send an embossed ivory envelope to the God of Thunder, Thor of Asgard.

By the time August rolled around, Lila was basically done with planning her wedding; everything was booked; caterers, florists, musicians, location, décor.

All that was left was the wedding dress, the bridesmaids' dresses, and lingerie for her honeymoon.

The first two items on her list were the easy ones; she spent two days trying on dresses, watching Pepper and some friends sip champagne as she zipped and unzipped countless gowns.

She accidentally tried on her perfect wedding dress- the store clerk brought her the wrong dress, and it turned out to be _the one. _

There was a strange feeling when Lila tried on _the one_. She felt lighter and prettier, as she looked at herself in the narrow changing room mirror. She slipped into the sample heels the store offered for reference, and walked out to the waiting room.

Pepper burst into happy tears and applauded, exclaiming "This is it! Lila, this is it! You're glowing in it, I swear to God!"

And she was right. This dress was it. It was a pure, creamy white, with a strapless bodice delicately embroidered with pearls along the sweetheart neckline. The skirt was silk, and underneath was a built in petticoat consisting of multiple layers of tulle. It was a classic silhouette, and something Lila imagined would have been fashionable for a girl in 1940s New York.

_Item number one: Check._

The bridesmaids' dresses were more difficult.

The issue laid in the color combinations- Pepper's red hair clashed with a lot of common bridal shade. The other two bridesmaids were Lila's roommates from college and Law school- she'd kept in touch all through the years via facebook and lunch dates. They were both brunettes, like Maria, and very fashionable, so Lila had a high standard to fulfill in her decision.

In the end, it was little Maria who made the right choice. The women had gone to a special boutique in New Jersey to look at dresses, and they had spent all day trying on their options. No one could agree on anything, leaving Lila close to tears.

That was, until Maria walked into the showroom wearing a pale yellow dress with tiny silk flowers appliqued at the waist.

"Mama, I wanta wear this one!"

The boutique owner sucked up to her potential customers by squealing "How adorable! Let me show you the adult version of this design!"

And for Maria's sake, Pepper tried on the pretty yellow dress.

It looked and fit amazingly- the color made Pepper's bright hair look like sunlight. By then Lila had realized that yellow did fit her theme for her wedding, and she made her ex roommates try on the dress in their sizes as well, and they looked gorgeous with their dark hair.

_Item number two: Check._

That left the worst part of Lila's wedding planning experience-

Lingerie.

There were lots of reasons why Lila was intimidated by shopping for lingerie; first and foremost, the most she'd ever done in terms of fancy underwear was matching her bra to her panties. Hell, considering the fact that she was a D-cup, Lila kept her bras simple and flesh toned, in order to prevent further attention to her huge boobs.

Also, lingerie was about sex, and Lila didn't know how that would turn out for her and Steve. They had chemistry, but what if Lila couldn't _satisfy _Steve? The thought of leaving him unhappy horrified her, so Lila had to do some very awkward reading online about "first times" and what not to do.

Still, she had to get over her fear hosiery stores, and so she made an appointment at some place Jarvis had claimed was "highly recommended".

What would an AI know about nighties?

Lila didn't care to find out how Jarvis knew that, and instead embarked on a thoroughly embarrassing experience.

First came the underwear- the woman insisted that she should throw out all of her old granny panties at home, and forced to replace them with playful patterned bikini and boy short underpants- all with matching underwire bras and tank tops for daily wear. She also insisted Lila stock up on silk pajama pants and tops in a rainbow of colors. The material was soft and slippery between Lila's fingers, and she could imagine Steve hugging her in them- perfect.

Up till this point, Lila was okay. Modeling jammies, even underwear was okay. But showing off a sheer nightgown with a risqué thong in front of a strange French woman whose life was devoted other people's night life?

That was pushing Lila's limit very close to the edge.

Luckily, Steve called as Lila was getting ready to chicken out and instead order her necessary sexy-wear online.  
"Hey doll." His voice was warm and he was clearly happy about something. "Hi Steve! What's happening baby?"  
"I made a Facebook account!"

Lila had her stupid smile on her face and replied, "Oh wow! Who helped you?" Steve made a huffy noise, and said "No one. The instructions are simple enough, even for a walking relic like me! Besides, I asked Jarvis whenever I got confused about something; he doesn't laugh at me like you or Tony."

"Steve, you know I'm kidding! I'm so proud, I'll add you when I get a spare moment!"

"Yay, that'll make you my 5th friend online. These two lovely gentlemen from India added me already and they seem nice!"

Lila inwardly groaned, and then groaned out loud as the pushy saleswoman handed her an armful of negligees and God knew what else.

"What's wrong Lila? Aren't you shopping?" She knew he knew how happy shopping made her, so she lied and told him that she was looking at some figures for the next quarter for Stark Industry, effectively getting rid of his suspicions.

They said goodbye, and Lila looked at the lacy slips before her.

_I can do this. I can do this. They're just clothes designed to make my lover want to take them off._

_That's all._

_That's not scary. He loves you._

_He loves you._

And with enough courage, Lila tried on the first outfit. And the next. And then she picked out some, and her own style began to show in her choices- simple, but effective. Lacy, but not tacky. Sheer, but not slutty.

Still, she hadn't found the real doozy- the one she would knock her sex god husband out with on their wedding knight.

It had been a long day, and Lila decided that she would come back to the French boutique another day with Pepper for that decision. Her arms were loaded with bags, and she was walking through the parking lot when she remembered that Steve needed a new pack of socks for his gym shoes.

"Goddamit!" Lila dumped her purchases into the trunk of her car and programmed her GPS for a nearby Target- she didn't have time to go shopping again!

Munching on a giant pretzel, Lila walked the aisles of the superstore pushing a cart filled with her weekly grocery shopping and some socks for her man. She stopped as always before the ladies section, examining the affordable clothing.

Something caught her eye from the underwear section, and as she walked closer to it she couldn't believe her eyes.

It was hilariously perfect.

It was ridiculous.

It was funny.

It was a red white and blue, stars and stripes nightie with a matching thong- red with white stars.

Lila couldn't believe it- her own Captain America suit! And for $14.99 only, a bargain purchase.

She walked into their apartment whistling that night, proud of herself for facing her terror and plunging into the depths of lingerie. Lila also felt accomplished for her secret Target discovery- she'd found the one nightgown which was sure to render Steve speechless come September 15th.

**This was bad but I'm busy and I've had this in my head since forever.**

**Review! Love you all!**

It was p


	25. The Yellow Rose

**It's another filler, I simply can't wrap my head around writing a wedding just **_**yet. **_**Soon, my lovelies, soooon. For now, have some sads and happies. XOXOXO**

_Lila POV:_

Texas was calling her name. It had been nearly 6 years since she had left her childhood home, but she still keenly missed the warm, endless Southern days.

Lila decided that Steve needed to see Texas before they got married- T-minus 19 days and counting, and since Pepper had all but finished her wedding planning, they were free to travel as they wished (as long as no major villains attacked Earth).

She broached the subject to Steve one evening before bed, when her fiancé relaxed under the covers with a sketch book and light music wafting over them. Usually Lila would be checking a few final emails before signing off technology for the night, but that night she exited the bathroom in her pajamas, ignoring her laptop and climbing in next to Steve, leaning over to look at what he was drawing.

"Steve, is that a hand?"

"Mhmm." He didn't look up or pay much mind to Lila, simply licking his thumb to smudge the edge of a contoured finger.

"Is that a baby's hand? Steve, that's a bit creepy isn't it?"

Steve snorted and replied, "Excuse me, but I think this is a perfectly sweet subject for me to draw. Besides, it's Maria, and she wanted me to "drawer" her so she could take it to show and tell. She did not however want me to draw her face- she wanted a hand."

"Oh. The whims of a 4 year old are beyond my understanding I suppose, but at least she likes me best."

Steve looked up then, affronted.

"That's a barefaced lie- she loves me way more than she loves you!"

Competitive Lila was rearing her head- it was too late at night for her to want to argue but of course, her inner debater couldn't let go of it.

"No. I was with her the day she was born- I was her second word! Leela! I also introduced her to dancing, the color pink, and The Wiggles, so I think I win considering that those are her three most favorite things in the world."  
Steve shook his head and returned to his drawing. Scoffing, he quipped "I'm gonna call Maria in the morning and figure this out; she loves her uncle Steve way more than you! She likes my piggyback rides much more than yours- _midget."_

Lila could hear the laughter in his voice and decided that payback was necessary.

"What'd you say, Captain? Did you say you wanted to be tickled?"

Steve put down the book in alarm, knowing what was coming.

"No Lila, the clock says that it's midnight and I don't want to be assaulted by a flying midg-"

"TOO LITTLE TOO LATE BABY!"

Lila pounced on him, attacking Steve's t-shirt clad chest and neck, reveling in the stupid snorting guffaw coming out of her ridiculously handsome fiancé's mouth. Her tickling slowed torturously, until Steve gasped out,

"UNCLE, UNCLE! I (SNORT) GIVE IN FOR (GIGGLE) NOW!"

Lila collapsed onto him, asking, "Who does Maria love more?"

"Lila."

"Got it babe. That's why you wear the tights in this relationship."

"Shut up Lila."

"Okay sweetie. Just one thing before we sleep."  
Steve sounded hesitant as he replied, "Yeah?"  
"Can we visit Texas this weekend? I really miss it, and I want to see Dallas one time before we get married. It seems like the right time to go back, and I want you there with me."  
Steve didn't pause in answering, "Of course. I know I'd look amazing in leather chaps- not the ass-less kind, obviously, but I could be a cowboy."

Lila groaned, and explained for what felt like the millionth time, "I came from a rich county with zero crime rate, high populations, and absolutely no cowboys. Get over your fantasy before you're disappointed, city boy."

Steve simply tucked Lila into his arms, whispering into her ear, "Yeehaw."

_Steve POV:_

Texas was big. Yeah, he came from the City of all American Cities, but Texas just seemed to expand with every mile they drove further in it. They had landed at DFW Airport Friday morning at 10 AM, having taken an obscenely early flight around 1 AM. Lila wanted to spend as much of her weekend visiting as she could, so they immediately had had Jarvis book tickets the morning after their bedtime discussion.

Watching Lila pack her fancy pink suitcase was funny- she pondered over three pairs of jeans for 20 minutes, eventually giving in and neatly folding each inside of the case.

He, on the other hand, knew how to pack light- Army training taught a man that. One duffel bag stuffed with: a few casual tee shirts, two formal button downs with jackets, and multiple pants. Also: underwear, socks, shoes, and personal hygiene products, as well as his sketchpad and pencil bag.

At the airport Steve felt some trepidation- it was such a public place, and people were bound to recognize him as Captain America. As they sat in the waiting area, sipping coffee before their flight, Steve hunched behind a newspaper, feeling silly in his baseball cap in the middle of the night. It was a few minutes before Steve realized that no one was looking at him, something that he wasn't used to. Lila must have realized that something was wrong with her fiancé because she wrapped an arm around him, and reassuringly whispered "See why I booked this early flight? We're completely incognito right now, especially since only 5 other people are on this plane. Benefits of using Stark Industry Airways- I can make sure that we have a comfortable ride."

Steve looked at Lila's face; the same perky nose, big brown eyes, and kissable mouth currently smeared with powder from a cheap donut she'd bought from the airport coffee shop.

"I'm glad you're my girl; I have literally no idea what I would do without you."

They had called their flight then, and from there it was smooth sailing- flying.  
Lila had rented a car beforehand, a giant SUV that was entirely too big for just the two of them.

"Lila, do we need such a giant car? I know you packed a lot but we really shouldn't waste this gas-"

"Steve. This is Texas, and I'm going to be on the highway here for the first time in 6 years. I will be surrounded by friendly, genuine, warm Texans in huge pickup trucks and SUVs- and did I mention that Texan drivers are homicidal? Unintentionally of course, but it's in our nature. Why do you think I walk around so much back home?"  
He shut up, allowing Lila to turn on some awful radio station she'd listened to in high school, laughing as she sang along to some pop-teen hit that sounded atrocious.

Lila pointed out all the tourist landmarks, like the Reunion Tower and the Dallas Zoo. She sounded more animated and giddy than she had in a while- it reminded Steve of the teenage Lila he'd once known, who danced while baking and boxed because she was angry.

They arrived at their hotel by 12 PM, checking in and going up to their room.

As Steve slid the room card through the slot, Lila suddenly gripped his arm, following him into the room where he sat her down on the bed.

"Lila… what is it?"  
"I don't know why I came here. I mean, yeah, closure sounds easy but let's get real… There is literally no one alive here who I really care to meet. They all died… and now, here I am? I want to connect with them somehow but I can't obviously."

She sounded way too conflicted for those issues to have come up randomly- Lila had had those demons lurking in her brain for a long time.

Steve didn't want to say the wrong thing but he hadn't the foggiest as to how to help his love.

He tried, of course.

"Lila, this is your home. You love it here, right?"  
She nodded, curling up on the bed.

"Well, if you want to see something you love, isn't that normal? You lost something huge here, and it's natural for you to want to regain or replace it somehow."

"That kind of makes sense, go on."  
"Well that's the thing- missing something you've lost is a convoluted thing. You want something from returning to the place where the hurt began, a kind of compensation or closure, but it's not so simple as spending a weekend. You'll feel hurt, but you'll also remember happy joyful things. I went back to my old neighborhood in Brooklyn and visited after I woke up the first time- I walked and walked. Things had obviously changed, but I could still reach my memories and find happiness just by being there and seeing things as they were- as well as what they had become."

Lila looked up at him, watery eyed but smiling. "You know how to make me feel less batshit insane, and I love that about you. Thanks for getting me perfectly, supersoldier. Now kiss me."  
Steve obliged, leaning down to press his lips to hers before getting up to put their suitcases away, while Lila got up to take a shower. They had made plans to visit the neighborhood where Lila had grown up, and afterwards to explore her suburb before dinner.

Steve checked his phone (only slightly having trouble with the code) to find a text from Tony, which read, in all caps, of course "DON'T KNOCK HER UP ON YOUR WEIRD PRE-WEDDING VACATION. YOUR PERSONAL PRIVATE DOCTOR REPORTS CAME IN WHICH I READ AND THEY SAY YOU HAVE EXCEPTIONALLY STRONG SUPER SPERM. OVER AND OUT."

_Panic. _That was the first sensation which swam through Steve's mind- before he remembered that he and Lila didn't plan on sleeping together till their wedding night. He was looking forward to that night a LOT. Pregnancy was easily avoided for them- but then he wondered about whether or not modern condoms were enough for his super serum-ed up sperm.

Lila didn't let him continue with that train of thought, as she stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in her towel.

"I forgot my bodywash in my bag, sorry!" She lightly stepped back into the bathroom, leaving the door just barely open.

Steve sat heavily on the bed, forgetting the phone and pondering the implications of it all.

He hadn't realized it, but he had actually been worried about babies. Steve knew he'd changed from the serum and from his second big sleep; he'd wondered if children were even a possibility in his future.

Knowing that he could give Lila the babies she so desperately wanted (He'd seen her hold Maria- the woman wanted a baby _badly)._

Relief washed over him, and he lay back on the bed, grinning.

Babies. With Lila…

It sounded amazing.

_Lila POV:_

Her house was the same. It had been owned by a lovely Taiwanese family for the past 3 years; a swing hung from the giant oak tree she remembered so well. It made her happy to see signs of life- flowers planted by the mailbox, a welcome mat at the doorstep. She took Steve to her old neighborhood playground- renovated recently, but still similar.  
The weeping willow tree where she and her brothers would play pretend was gone- in its place was a new bench. Still, Lila could never resist an empty swing set, and so she pumped her legs back and forth, going as high as she could without flipping over the set.

She felt like she was soaring, barely noticing when Steve joined her on the next swing, and quickly he overtook her with his long legs. Lila eventually tired, slowing to a gentle swaying. Steve adjusted himself to her speed, and Lila twisted her chains, spinning around and around, catching glimpses of Steve doing the same before she staggered off the swing, dizzy and laughing.

"That was what I'd do with my brothers- we'd play spider, or race- I remember watching them jump off the swing into the air, fearlessly. I could never do it. I'm glad that they got to do that."  
Steve smiled, unsteadily hugging her from behind before running to the nearby monkey bars.

They then went by Lila's high school- near her house, same as ever. The fountains gushed water, and new ducks swam about the pond where Lila used to eat lunch with her friends.

Steve and she toured the school grounds, since they were closed for summer. Lila told him about her classes, her successes and her struggles. She stopped only once, before a single marble pillar marked with a plaque-

"IN MEMORY OF THE CLASS OF 2010: GONE BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN."

That was when Lila abruptly turned around and stormed towards the SUV, ignoring Steve's protests.

In the car, she turned furiously to him and said "This was not a smart idea, and I'm supposed to be fucking smart. Right now I feel awful for being alive while literally a thousand of my peers and friends and family are underground or ashes. I feel like shit. It's all my fault!"

"No it's not- survivors' guilt is NORMAL and you know that what you are feeling is okay- it IS NOT irrational to feel this way Lila! Stop beating yourself up for a tragedy you didn't cause!"

Lila started the car. "I know I didn't plant that bomb Steve. I didn't kill them all, but I could've died with them. Now, I'm the girl who made it because she was a know it all pain in the ass. I was Valedictorian, sure, and see what it got me? I lost everyone and I feel responsible for earning that ridiculous title –and surviving. I just have to live with it, and that's all I have to say about it."

Steve tried to discuss it further but Lila shut him out, knowing full well that she was being rude and annoying.  
So what? She had pent up all that insanity for years; someone had to see it- who better than her future husband?

At that thought, and with a glance at her amazing engagement ring, Lila felt bad for snapping at Steve.

"I'm sorry. I know you're right, but I'm an idiot and I take time to understand things like this."

Steve smiled at her, understandingly squeezing her free hand as she pulled out of the parking lot towards her favorite Tex-Mex restaurant.

The rest of the trip passed uneventfully, with visits to a few remaining friends who hadn't been at Lila's graduation. They went to the cemetery, with Lila placing roses on the graves of every victim she could find. At her family's plot, she broke down, and Steve sat next to her mother's grave on the grass, talking to her while Lila stood further away, sobbing.

It was heartbreaking, but cathartic. As they left the graveyard, Lila kissed Steve more passionately than she had on their entire trip; when he asked why, she replied, "Because now I know that you're good for me, and plus my mom approves. You talked to my dead mother, Steve; you're fucking amazing."

They ate, slept, walked, and shopped. Monday morning they were back in New York, feeling secure in their relationship and in their future.

As if a good omen, Lila's wedding dress was delivered to their apartment that evening, packed in a huge box, which Lila insisted on hiding in a trunk- she was a little superstitious.

Before going to bed that night, Lila reached out to Steve and stroked his cheek. Quietly she murmured, "I love you. You're my moon. I'm sorry we don't have sex yet, but I promise that'll be amazing too- it's with you, of course it'll be amazing. But I know how much you work to help me feel better and I appreciate it."

A half asleep Steve grinned before falling into slumber, loosely hugging her to his chest.

Lila felt safe and warm.

It was good.


	26. The Moon and The Sun

**I've been gone awhile… a long while.**

**Sorry? School and a new job= not a lot of writing time/inspiration, but here I am! Read and enjoy.**

_Lila POV:  
_She was getting married. Her wedding was in 12 hours, and she was currently sipping wine with Pepper while getting a manicure at 10 PM in Stark Tower, where the other members of the bridal party were also getting pampered. The beautician buffed Lila's finger nails on her left hand as she checked her email with the other, making sure her schedule was clear before her _month_ long leave of absence, aka honeymoon.

"Lila, I will throw that phone out the window 127 stories down if you don't stop obsessing; everything will be fine! I've got this!" Pepper's confidence was justified, but every bride had the right to worry about her dream wedding. Lila felt safe, surrounded by women who loved her. Her college friends, Pepper, Natasha, Jane and Darcy (invited more as a courtesy because of their superhero connections but still awesome friends) and of course little Maria, who had crashed around 8 and was on a sofa somewhere in the expansive living area turned spa.

"Fine, Pep. It's going in my purse, promise."

Darcy sauntered over with a glass of wine, handing a small gift bag to Lila. "This is for you chica; edible underwear makes every night a fucking night to remember." Despite her memories of Darcy as the girl who had _grinded _on Steve while dancing, Lila couldn't help but love her infectious sense of humor which was literally teeming with sex jokes and the word fuck. Jane gave her a lovely bottle of perfume and Natasha promised that she would forever be under her protection. Lila wasn't sure if she was supposed to take that seriously but she gracefully smiled and hugged both women.

The beautician gave Lila a final checkup- eyebrows done, legs and underarms waxed, lady parts Brazilian-ed to the point of oblivion, and nails perfect. She was staying the night in a Stark Tower guest room so that she could give Lila a massage before leaving for the resort, and do her hair and makeup there.

After getting the okay, Lila stood from her spa chair and yawned, mindful of her newly pink toes, and leaned down to give Pepper a big kiss on the top of her head, waving at the rest of her friends. She needed her beauty sleep, and even though her mind was racing, Lila felt strangely at peace. By the time she got to her Stark Tower bedroom, something in her began to feel twitchy- typical of Lila, a last minute malfunction in her brain. Shutting her door, she asked Jarvis to play her soothing playlist- Sia, Florence and the Machine, and a heavy dose of Coldplay. Despite the calm melody filling the air, Lila sensed that something was disturbing her psyche, and she sighed. Sitting on the ground, she stretched her legs and leaned forward, arms before her in a simple yoga position. Breathing slowly, in and out, Lila emptied her mind.

_What could it be though? What is making me jittery- now of all times?_

Clearly emptying her mind was not working.

Suddenly her heart stopped- _vows._

Somehow she had forgotten to write vows!

Scrambling for her notebook and pen in her purse, Lila furiously began to scribble- her vows had to be flawless for tomorrow to mean a thing to her.

_**Steve's POV:**_

Tony Stark had listened to Steve Rogers, and had not thrown him a bachelor party. It was worth of the New York Times' headlines, but he ignored the urge to gloat- he was getting _married_. Pre-serum Steve could never have imagined getting married; hell even going on a date would have been a feat for him. Now he was about to join his life with that of his true love. That night was not fun for Steve, despite the lack of strippers and pole dancers.

Tony had complained mightily, getting Thor and Hawkeye to agree with him that no marriage was complete without "one night of guilt free sexy ladies!"

Bruce sided with Steve though, and quietly started a game of chess with him so that the other men would get bored and watch wrestling. Quietly, when the game had faded and the others were looking for snacks, the scientist wryly smiled at Steve and asked, "You ready?"

The question took Steve off guard, but it was genuine, so he replied honestly. "I guess… I'm a little bit shaky but overall sure. It's not Lila that makes me uncertain- I'm just not sure about me? Making it work, that is."

"I almost got married. I had a ring and everything. It was before the accident, before the Other Guy was even a possibility. I'm glad now that I didn't ask her- it would have destroyed any woman to be married to me."

"I had no idea."

"No one does."

The silence descended upon them awkwardly, and Steve pretended to study the chessboard. Bruce visibly shut himself off, and quickly excused himself so he could go to bed- The Other Guy needed sleep.

Steve was finally left alone, and he took the moment to think- was he sure? He glanced at his watch, and saw it was 12 AM- definitely time for bed. He remembered to check his phone- a newly acquired habit- and saw he had a text from Lila. It read "I'm so ready for our wedding day to be over so that we can get to our wedding night. Love you lot ;)" The winky face and teasing tone was reassuring- his girl was right for him.

_**THE WEDDING: FINALLY, RIGHT?**_

It was 9:57 AM and Lila was ready. Her vows were complete and perfect, her hair was gently pulled into a curling chignon, and her face was glowing- naturally and from the amazing make over from her beautician. The bridesmaids were looking beautiful and Maria was being re-re-coached on her dual duties as flower girl and ring bearer. Organ music could be heard from the resort's courtyard where the wedding was taking place, and Pepper was on the phone finalizing with catering and the live band simultaneously.

Similarly, Steve stood before the guests at the altar, with Tony beside him and a Justice of the Peace behind him. Because of the _very _diverse spiritual backgrounds of their guests, Lila and Steve had chosen to select a non-denominational ordained official to wed them. The rest of the wedding was very traditional though- flowers everywhere, with satin drapes in white and cream, coordinated with yellow daffodils dripping out of hanging baskets. Steve wore the classic black and white tuxedo with the cummerbund, feeling more like himself than ever in a formal suit. The music changed to the wedding march then, and Steve's back straightened involuntarily- it was time.

Lila also straightened, taking her bouquet from Pepper and gently positioned her veil before her face, the white gauzy lace barely distorting her vision. Maria was jumping and ready, but Pepper had a hold on her. The bridesmaids took the arms of the groomsmen, and began the walk down the aisle. Since Lila had no father to speak of, she had to walk the aisle alone. Pepper however had decided that she would hold Lila's train just as Pippa held her sister Kate Middleton's. It was her complicated way of showing that she was Lila's sister, so she agreed. Then her cue came, and all memories of the royal wedding flew out of Lila's mind as she stepped out of the room into the courtyard and the ceremony.

She smiled unconsciously- just seeing all these people celebrating her and Steve's love was enough to make her giddy. That she was actually marrying Steve had yet to sink in, but when her eyes finally met Steve's midway down the aisle, Lila's smile melted into something more meaningful and deep. Steve's expression was raw- his grin was lopsided, his eyes crinkled with emotion. They felt each other's happiness and it was infectious- Tony surreptitiously had to wipe his eye and pretend it was lint, while Maria was uncharacteristically docile and quiet.

The ceremony commenced, with a flowery opening prayer neither of them heard. Their eyes were latched, hands tightly clutching the others. Then the moment for vows arrived, and Lila was first. She knew it was odd for her to go first but she insisted- she wanted to say hers so that Steve would know how endlessly she loved him.

She let go of Steve's left hand and laid it against his cheek, which he nuzzled into. The contact was searing, but she continued, ignoring the urge to kiss him and make senseless love to him right there in the altar.

"When I first met you I was in love with you. Mind you, I was 18, addicted to the internet, and had no idea who you actually were besides a hunk in red white and blue. Then I got to know you, and I still loved you except more. Actually, by then my fangirlish infatuation had become real crush material, based on actual conversations and the like. And then that was demolished by intense longing and desire, because you were gone. And then the love turned into something deeper, and then you returned, and it was finally realized into something solid. What I'm trying to say is that I've always loved you in a way, for all of my adult life. You've saved me and grounded me and made me into a mature young woman, just by being you. I adore the way you make me feel obligated to be honest, and I hate the way you inspire me to work out regularly. I despise your ability to win arguments, and I love the way you smile in the morning. I'll protect you and cherish you, hold you and guide you. I promise to avoid constant sarcasm and staying up too late at night. I promise to bake cookies on Sundays, and to let you listen to the ball game in the car. I love you, till the end of time. You're the sun, and I'm the moon- I only shine when I'm with you."

The crowd sighed and Pepper audibly sniffed, but nothing prepared Lila for Steve's reaction- to press his lips to her hand, head bowed, not ending the kiss for 3, 4, 5 seconds. Only when the justice cleared his throat did Steve look up, unabashed.

"I'm used to the idea of being alone. At first it was because I was too skinny and weak, but then it was because I was bizarrely big and strong. I had to resign myself to adoration from afar because I was so shy, but then when I did think things would change, I crashed. When I was awake, I thought I'd be alone because of the change, but then you came along and I began to feel like things might be okay. Then I was out for a while, again, and you were what kept me from drowning. When I resurfaced once more, you were the rescue boat waiting for me, and you've been there for me from the start, really. What I'm trying to say is that- well, without you I'd probably have killed myself- one way or the other. Now I'm just glad to see my future will be with you by my side, to fight my battles and guide my life. I promise to protect you and reassure you; I promise fresh coffee and endless clementine oranges in the winter. I promise to close the toothpaste tube and not refer to mirrors as looking glasses. I also promise to love you, fiercely and thoroughly, till the day I die."

And then he ignored the Justice's words- "With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Man and Wife"- and took the rings from Maria's pillow, fumblingly jamming hers onto her finger, allowing her only a second to the same with his before he carefully lifted the veil to kiss her passionately. The moment seemed suspended in time, and they couldn't hear the applause or music swelling around them.

The kiss ended and then the hugs began- they descended from the altar and embrace after embrace swarmed them. First was Pepper who crushed Lila to her chest, whispering "Enjoy this forever honey", and then Tony squeezed her arm and the hordes swarmed over them.

After that, the wedding was a haze- short segment of dancing punctuated with chilled champagne and giggles with her guests. Nick Fury made a short appearance to hand her a tiny box which she later discovered held keys to a home in upstate New York. Steve finally found her for the cake cutting, which resulted in both smearing frosting on the other and laughing hysterically, kissing the sweet smears off their respective cheeks. Lila danced with Tony while Steve danced with Maria, and their eyes locked- something in Lila clicked and all the bubbles flew away.

_**Their hotel:**_

The ceremony had finally concluded at four, which had left them an hour to change and get on their flight to an island somewhere uncharted to all but SHIELD- safety first. Lila wore a simple linen dress and Steve was in his usual old-man uniform, and the flight mainly consisted of them holding hands quietly and looking at pictures Pepper had taken on her phone of the wedding. Lila dozed off around 9 PM, and she was awakened at 11:30 when they landed. Amazed by the speed of SHIELD jets, Lila was excited to reach their tropical home. It was dark though, and the foliage was obscured by the blackness surrounding them. Besides, the real entertainment was about to begin- their wedding night.

The hotel was beautifully decorated, but Lila wouldn't have noticed if it was a Motel 8. Immediately entering their suite, she had taken her overnight bag to the bathroom and undid her hair, brushing it loose, and then wiped away her makeup, applying a small amount of lipgloss after doing her teeth. She then stripped, applying scented lotion and shimmer powder to her entire body. Lila had to man up for the next step- the lingerie. She was actually going to wear the set she had found at Target- the red, white, and blue sheer top with the matching thong. It was scary to even look at herself in the mirror when she put it on, but she forced herself to do it, looking for any problems or flaws. She was happy to see that she actually looked sexy- top sheer enough to tease but still not see-through fully. Her fears were slightly allayed when she spritzed her favorite body spray on- Japanese Cherry Blossom. Feeling confident and excited, Lila unlocked the bathroom door and walked out.

_**Steve POV:**_

He was already in his pajamas and nervously sitting on the bed. Steve had decided to be normal, and wore blue pajama bottoms only. He knew Lila was probably feeling scared, it being her first time, and he was basically in the same boat. They were both going into the marital bed blind, and he was worried sick that he would be done too quickly, and that Lila would get no enjoyment from him.

His fears flew from his mind when the bathroom door opened and Lila emerged, clad in what could only be called- perfection? His first instinct was to laugh, and when Lila saw his incredulous, overjoyed face, she giggled shyly, standing before his perch on the bed. She laid a tentative hand on his bare chest, feeling the chest hair and leaning closer to kiss him softly. Steve could hardly bear to be this close to her- she was soft, and her hair swung about her face and she smelled like heaven and then the fabric of the top shifted and he saw her breasts- without a thought he rose from the bed and lifted her to straddle him, carrying her to the bed where he laid her down.

Lila was clearly aroused as well, as Steve carefully positioned himself above her on the bed. She put a hand up, gesturing for him to sit up. She also sat up, and carefully lifted the sheer top off, smiling seductively and then laughing. Steve couldn't wait any longer, and began to lavish Lila and her body with kisses which began at her lips and lowered slowly….

Later, when they were sated and yet still endlessly wanting more, they lay in one another's arms, Lila's bare legs entwined with Steve's hairy ones. Face to face, eye to eye, they rested, feeling more secure and safe than ever before in their life.

Steve was about to drift off to sleep when Lila stirred; she was playing with his hair and massaging his neck, occasionally placing a kiss upon his chest. She then carefully lowered herself onto him, (already hard and ready for action) only pausing when Steve grabbed her by the arm and asked "I don't have protection on!" She smiled and shook her head no. "I want a baby from you Steve Rogers- I want one _tonight."_

That was enough for Steve- and so the night went…..

**Okay, that's one thing off my to-do list. There's more to come, promise :D**


End file.
